tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post6023125929327361361..comments2023-10-18T02:03:42.145-07:00Comments on LEARNING TO LIVE FREE: Leila's Story, Part OneUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-65086283061816126452019-10-30T14:10:43.398-07:002019-10-30T14:10:43.398-07:00part 2? part 2? Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-2991177021635665042018-08-21T15:26:02.468-07:002018-08-21T15:26:02.468-07:00You are in the same dilemma I was at your age. If ...You are in the same dilemma I was at your age. If you want to talk, email me via the form on this page. While I don't think there is a "right" way to manage your hopes and fears, there are many healthy ways, and I'm happy to explore them with you.<br />(Deep breath. Take all the time you need to discover who you are, how you are made, and what you need.) Freehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14779418481668841114noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-90010899000542631322018-08-17T11:25:44.518-07:002018-08-17T11:25:44.518-07:00You are such a strong person! In a way I look up t...You are such a strong person! In a way I look up to you and to any of others who have left oalc. I am currently trying to leave but I am so scared of leaving due to some family member who have left the church who no longer have contact with (not by their choice) but parents completely disowned them. Which is what is holding me back. My mom was born and raised in the church and my dad joined as a teen. My dad is also Spanish. I am the 2nd oldest of 11 kids. Growing up I also felt as if I didn't "fit in" due to all my friends being white. They always try to crack up jokes due my tan skin and my dark hair. As do they do with a couple asians that attend church but of course I (we) played it off and pretend as if it were funny. As I got a little older I started to become close with some girls at school who didn't belong to the oalc. In my town (high school) I was the only member from the oalc. we had a different sect though who went to my school knows as the LLC which is a similar group to oalc. They had a a lot of my people I think it was about 20 of them who were always all together didn't really talk to other people but the people who belonged to the LLC. they knew who I was and I knew who they were. They intimidated me they knew i was the only one from my church at school so they always kept in a eye on me. I honestly really didn't care for them but they always seemed to have my name in their mouths they were so rude to me not all but 3 of the girls treated me as if they were all so much better than me. So which I was I just started making friends at school. I was always really shy though especially with my first year of high school and just kept to my studies. so it took some time to get comfortable with them but at the end of 9th grade we all were like best friends but I did know I was different from them but they seemed to accept me. as the church tells you that everyone who doesn't believe will go to hell and that they are "worldly" people which I never understood why. When I told my mom about going to a friends house to have a sleep over she asked with who and I panicked as I didn't want to tell who it was (everyone from the oalc knows everyone of its members) so I didn't know what to say and so I just said a girl from school ( which I just could have lied and said from church) and she asked what her name was and so I told her name was Maddy ****** , when she realized that she didn't go to church she said absolutely not. I was so mad at my mom and she told me that I shouldn't be hanging out with people that don't belong to our church. I never understood why ad when I asked her she never had a good answer. But my mom started to notice that I was starting to rebel (wearing makeup, listening to music,comig home late) etc. couple days later me and my mom were in the car just us and I told her that I want to get closer to God and that I feel that im not getting it in the oalc. she didn't respond with anything just a look with such disbelief .and told me that I should go to talk to our pastor. which I replied with " why is it all about the church having ALL the right answers you need, and that I wanted to stop attending services" all she gave me was condensing talk about how I am "lost" and "confused" She called my grandmother and she had a long conversation with me over the phone and she stated that "losing your faith is the worst thing you can do" and she also told me that I should go talk to our pastor which I was just annoyed by that fact that they all think the church has all the right answers. So I just let this who thing pass. Me and my mom TO THIS DAY still butt heads on many subjects regarding the oalc. and its starting to get annoying. I am 17 still living at home going to college this fall not really finically stable and im really considering in leaving but still want to stay in contact with my family more my sibling but you get the point. I am just soooo scared and could really use some help and or advice.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-55235931902752774822017-11-20T18:58:50.436-08:002017-11-20T18:58:50.436-08:00wow- you are THE strongest person I've ever re...wow- you are THE strongest person I've ever read about. Please contact the authorities and tell them your story. No doubt after molesting you he has continued on to more victims. Please don't walk away from this, help those out there who are suffering this abuse and at least put a stop to that pervert hurting any other children.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-89523201011337722092017-09-29T16:08:55.535-07:002017-09-29T16:08:55.535-07:00Hello Leila,
Thank you for sharing your story. I...Hello Leila, <br /><br />Thank you for sharing your story. It is extremely brave to share about a traumatic event. I feel like I understand some of what you went through. I grew up in the FALC (OALC is a split of FALC) and have since left as I felt the need to deepen my relationship with Christ and I didn't agree with many of their beliefs. I also was sexually abused (Not by someone from the church) so I understand what you are going through. Please feel free to contact me if you ever want to talk about anything!<br /><br />-Maria La Vie est Bellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01526950316748075263noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-37439496048531309592017-08-12T09:49:54.814-07:002017-08-12T09:49:54.814-07:00What I'm feeling is profound anger. I hope par...What I'm feeling is profound anger. I hope part 2 tells of prosecutions of the pastor, the nurse who is not qualified to diagnose and all others who were complicit in this child abuse! Leila, I am so impressed by your strength to rise. notupnorthbecausehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07896383574751334709noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-22374204003674671662017-08-12T01:54:04.863-07:002017-08-12T01:54:04.863-07:00I look forward to hearing 'part two' you a...I look forward to hearing 'part two' you are one strong women and it is amazing you were able to escape and create the life you did for yourself...stories like these, as sad and as horrible as they are, make me feel not so alone with my experiences from the OALC. Look forward to hearing more,<br />Alyson KadowAlyson Kadownoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-27456256688498214512017-08-11T21:57:35.731-07:002017-08-11T21:57:35.731-07:00Thank you for sharing. Your courage gives me a b...Thank you for sharing. Your courage gives me a bit more strength as I still struggle from my past of the OALC and I'm in my 40s. I look forward to part 2 and your writings make me think maybe a book. Carrie Gregsonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-85945982155882732222017-08-11T21:01:24.621-07:002017-08-11T21:01:24.621-07:00I am so sorry this all too familiar story is yours...I am so sorry this all too familiar story is yours. Weeping with you... <br /><br />It was a gift to me as well to excel academically. A 'passport' to amazing opportunity and freedom. I look forward to listening to the rest of your story. Blessings my dear! Love and hugs as well. LoisAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04071020453120068882noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-70578503387159739812017-08-11T20:10:52.296-07:002017-08-11T20:10:52.296-07:00You are a beautiful person. Thank you for sharing,...You are a beautiful person. Thank you for sharing, I'm so proud of you. HelenaHelenahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01437014982513616427noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-64399787214102198492017-08-11T20:04:22.453-07:002017-08-11T20:04:22.453-07:00I am so sorry for your experiences and hope you ar...I am so sorry for your experiences and hope you are finding strength in healing. Sending much love and support. Cheryl. Cherylhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18018112089246842488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-71462117539060529642017-08-11T09:45:53.635-07:002017-08-11T09:45:53.635-07:00There is one incident in Finland, where the auteur...There is one incident in Finland, where the auteur is a preacher, but protected by his apology. Sheep.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-59718907725890186882017-08-11T08:54:22.478-07:002017-08-11T08:54:22.478-07:00I was choked and filled with anger to read about y...I was choked and filled with anger to read about your story. I was happy to hear that you managed to struggle free eventually and I am fingers crossed waiting the part 2. I was wondering why it was not possible for your parents to save and detach you from the perpetrator as it was obvious - at latest after 2nd or 3rd incident - that he did not have an intention to repent and correct his behavior. The described scheme of confession and forgiving is really an appalling practice to cover up shameful crimes and neglect the vulnerable victims.<br />It has been a shock to the world to see these revelations in various religious communities. Catholic Church has sailed from big scandal to another - when truth is revealed after decades of cover-ups. For us raised in Lestadian homes it has been terrible disappointment to hear similar stories. The SRK-lestadianism in Finland has been under major publicity about these abominable cases. No doubt the problem is around in OALC and Firstborn groups as well. Social and criminal studies should be consulted to know what is the typical prevalence of such abuse, domestic violence etc in the general public. Whatever the case the most infuriating feature is the complicity of clergy, preachers and facade-preserving parents in mending things with religious tricks. <br />Leila, I admire your perseverance and courage, I wish you have been able to pull yourself together, to find a balance in soul and reconciliation with the baggage of your religious heritage and little by little drop the bitter memories. I hope you have enjoyed your student years in the wonderful California. I am from Finland but I used to live one academic year in California 25 years ago. M <br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-14930806161907551622017-08-11T08:37:41.381-07:002017-08-11T08:37:41.381-07:00Bravo, Leila. All too often, I've heard the v...Bravo, Leila. All too often, I've heard the victims of sexual abusers declared "crazy" while their abusers continue on in church, their reputations intact, and even serving communion or serving on the church board. So often a child who has been abused in some way--physically, sexually and/or emotionally--their families paint them as crazy or unstable, even if they're the most sane person in their whole family. I look forward to reading the second installment of your story. --PunahilkkaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-90522380271899971222017-08-10T22:42:57.084-07:002017-08-10T22:42:57.084-07:00I have read this shocking story with admiration an...I have read this shocking story with admiration and sorrow. The Laestadian forgiving practice and culture causes this everywhere. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com