"laestadian, apostolic, gay, lgbtq, ex-oalc, ex-llc, llc, oalc, bunner" LEARNING TO LIVE FREE: The Good Kid (Guest Post)

Friday, March 30, 2018

The Good Kid (Guest Post)

This is a guest post by a reader I’ll call The Good Kid. If you are struggling with similar issues and would like to talk, let me know on the contact form and I’ll put you in touch with him (privacy assured). —Free

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Imagine this. You're a good kid. You want to please your parents. You want to do well in school. You want to do well in everything you do, including being a good Christian kid. You try your best to be this good kid because it's the one thing you can control in your life. Your home life isn't amazing. It's actually pretty abusive. But that's beside the point. You go to church pretty much every Sunday. You make sure that you know the answers to the questions that are being asked at the gatherings. You go to young peoples’ gatherings. You travel across the country with the Elders when they're here. You go to confirmation and get yourself a girlfriend, which of course doesn't work because you are too young. You're sad that it doesn't work out, so you date another girl, but that doesn't work either. You still have plans to get married one day, and have kids. You still want to be a good person and give back to others in some way. 

But you're different, and you know that you're different. You grew up with no TV and no movies,  and in a time where you didn't hear a lot about the "different" that you were. Every few Sundays they preach about the different that you are. They tell you that you're going to hell. You're pretty confused, because you know that you didn't choose to be different. You don't understand why you're going to hell, when you seriously try so hard to be so good for so many different people. 



Then, one day, you finally realize that you're tired of being told that you're going to hell. You're tired of trying to be good for everyone else. You're tired of sitting in a building where the preachers are talking about how you're going to hell. You're tired of it all. So you finally decide to walk out the doors of the church. And it is hard! You lose a lot of family members. You lose a lot of your support system. You lose many friends. You lose your faith. You turn to drugs and alcohol because you can at least control how high or how drunk you get. You put "being good" on the back burner for a while. But, eventually, you smarten up and realize that you're not that person. You still want to be a good human being. You want to be you. You've always been you. You were born this way. You are, and always have been, gay . . . AND THAT'S OKAY! 

The BS you were taught was not real. It wasn't true. You can find another church, one that won't condemn you to hell. You can get your faith back if you'd like. You can find friends who will love you as you are. You can still have kids if you'd like. You can still get married if you'd like. You can still give back to society if you'd like. You can get to a point in your life where you finally realize that being gay is the same as being born with black hair, or being lefthanded. It simply is what it is. The men who told you that it was wrong, well, they're simply uneducated. Maybe some of them are gay, too. Who knows?

But let me tell you one thing, you are not alone. Things can get better for you. Don't think that you have to marry someone of the opposite sex and "pretend" to be okay with doing that. You won’t be okay. You won’t be happy.  Your life is too precious for a closet.


I'm here to tell you that there are others just like you.

And you know what? I'm doing just fine.

8 comments:

  1. I’m also a younger gay guy who left the OALC a couple years ago. It was a scary decision and I was told that my life would only go downhill. They were wrong though. I have only gotten more successful, I moved to a large progressive city and have a much more fulfilling life, and I have found love. For anyone who is gay and in the OALC, don’t be afraid to make your life your own. You only get one. Those who I knew that were gay and chose to marry a girl anyway are not only very selfish and uncaring of her feelings to do that, but they also will never find true happiness and peace. Happiness and peace will not happen immediately for most people since we underwent a lifetime of brainwashing. But allow yourself to study all the worlds religions and cults, science and history and you will understand that no one church can offer you salvation. Over time you will heal, you will find love, and peace in your heart. Don’t live a life of regret.

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    1. Enjoy yourself! Says who? Follow your doubts ! Says who? Live free!! Said who?

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  2. Thank you for commenting, Luke. What an inspiring message. I'll add your comment to the Personal Stories tab, and welcome you to add to it if you wish.

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  3. Shout out to anyone struggling, I used to be closeted OALC member my whole life. (The keywords here are 'used to')

    I came out to my friends and family a few years back, and it's only gotten better. I know (maybe just me personally) I had an extremely hard time opening up to people before I came out because I was terrified it would get back to the congregation. It makes it much easier if you have someone who understands what you're going through, and can simply listen.

    My inbox and arms are always open to anyone out there who just wants a friend who can keep a secret. (If you doubt my secret keeping capabilities, no one knew I was gay for 23 years)

    I'm not going to try and convince anyone to live a certain way, but I will listen. Reach out to someone you can trust. Heck, reach out anonymously, I get it. Just reach out, you aren't, and don't have to be, alone.

    Drew Hallstrom

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    1. Drew, congratulations on the courage to be yourself, and thank you for offering your support to others.

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  4. Rocky Hindmarch6/09/2018 07:07:00 PM

    Nice to know we’re not alone. I feel that more and more people will start coming out soon. I’ve felt very much alone in this, so this is great. Thanks for responding to my article. ��

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  5. Rocky Hindmarch6/09/2018 07:12:00 PM

    There’s a support group for people who have left the church, to just talk and share. We’ve also just started a group for gay people who are from the church. I decided to do this because I’m tired of hearing about gay people being shunned by their families, or even going so far as to commit suicide. There’s never anything wrong with creating support groups for one another. If it can help even one person then it’s served it’s purpose. GAY OALC is the one, and Extoots is the other.

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