"laestadian, apostolic, gay, lgbtq, ex-oalc, ex-llc, llc, oalc, bunner" LEARNING TO LIVE FREE: The Christmas Program

Friday, December 07, 2012

The Christmas Program

Three years ago, I attended the Christmas program of my younger children’s elementary school, my head swirling with cognitive dissonance over what I was reading in the Bible and church publications. One of the issues that stood out in my mind, as it does for so many troubled believers, was Conservative Laestadianism’s outrageous exclusivity claims. (These claims are also made by the OALC, FALC, and IALC, who all point their bony fingers of condemnation at each other along with the LLC/SRK.)

Here it is in a nutshell: The church’s membership comprises about 0.002% of the world’s population. Everyone else who is mentally competent and has achieved some vaguely defined age of accountability it consigns to an eternity of screaming torture, a fate that eventually will be shared by almost all of the billion or so of the world’s children. There are even questions about many of those within the official membership nowadays. I suspect the old guard in the SRK and LLC have been waiting quite a while now for another “heresy” to come along and clean house, freeing them from having to deal with those annoying liberals, part-timers, and questioners.

That evening I sat with my wife and watched our kids up on stage, saying their pieces and singing their little songs among the beautiful children and parents of a rural, simple, and fairly religious community. As it is most everywhere else in the U.S. and the world, none of them has ever heard of Conservative Laestadianism. The closest most will ever come to a member of “God’s Kingdom” is in their cars as they drive through the area where most of our old congregation’s members live, on their way to do some shopping in town.

Here’s what I wrote when we got home. It is reproduced from my book (§4.2.1), as is some of the commentary that follows (pp. 82, 84‑85, 242 of the printed version).



The Christmas Program

Children stand on stage singing Christmas carols, twirling their curled hair and smiling shyly out at the faces of their parents. They have learned words that tell of Wishing us a Merry Christmas, of a little Town named Bethlehem, of a jolly old man named Santa Claus. In their classes they are also learning about one plus one and the alphabet, and even about bugs and plants.

But something they will never learn is that they are damned. Neither they nor their beaming parents will ever hear about a small, nondescript church 20 miles away that is attended by a few hundred children and their parents who look exactly like them and their parents, but who are (largely) not damned. They will grow up to embrace various beliefs. Most will confess a belief in the saving powers of the Jesus they are singing about (more or less) in their caroling. Some will be more enthusiastic about that belief than others, and some of them will come to reject the whole notion entirely. But all of them are damned, every single now-innocent one of them, because they will never enter that small, nondescript church and accept its particular doctrine of salvation.

Perhaps as their adult forms are writhing in unspeakable, eternal agony someday, many of them will ask, what about the Jesus we believed in? Didn’t we accept him as our personal savior? Didn’t we read the Bible that spoke of him, which said that God loved the whole world so much that he gave his only begotten Son, that all men might have eternal life?

Perhaps one of them, surprised that the particular Jesus doctrine he so piously confessed and taught was to no avail, will scream in his agony, “Why? Why? Why? Now I find out that there were just a few hundred people for hundreds of miles around me who made it to adulthood and then to heaven? And because none of these people ever had occasion to speak to me (including two parents who were apparently in the audience at my first grade Christmas program but never could or did say anything to me), I am going to be tortured forever? How could I have believed in a doctrine I’d never even heard of? If you are a loving God, why did you hide it from me? Why did you give me instead a lifetime of false consolation about Jesus that would prove utterly worthless to the fate of my soul?”

———

Laestadian preachers provide the flock with reminders of their special status in just about every sermon, by expressing praise and thanksgiving to God for allowing them the incredible good fortune to be one of “God’s children,” to have the “precious gift of living faith,” or even (in an acknowledgment of how almost everybody comes to be a Laestadian) to be “born into a Christian home.” And it is equally emphasized by references to the world and how lost and sadly ignorant it is of “God’s Kingdom.”

That can sound comforting to the believer who has spent a lifetime hearing nothing but the preaching of his or her own childhood faith, and has managed to avoid giving too much thought to the fate of those “unbelievers” and “heretics” whose beliefs appear only as simplistic caricatures in the sermons. But outside the walls of Zion, beyond earshot of the self-assured, droning piety, everyone can see the absurdity and cruelty of a God who would create a world full of people and hide the knowledge of salvation from almost all of them.

Pointing out this sort of thing earns one the title of a “false prophet,” a label now being heard from LLC ministers in their advent-season apocalyptic sermons. Their urgent preaching, the private phone calls and messages of concern, the meetings now being conducted to address questions with nothing but the same old slogans and non-answers, are all an effort to deflect attention from the inconvenient facts. And one of them is this: When a sect of a hundred thousand members maintains a doctrine of exclusivity in a world of seven billion, it is chaining itself to a rotting corpse. No amount of literary perfume, no appeal to tradition or piety, can disguise the stench of the horror it drags along with it everywhere it goes.

What contortions these poor preachers have to undergo to defend the indefensible! The allegiance demanded by this sect claiming to be the only true Lutheran faith–contrary to the teachings of Luther himself (§5.2, pp. 506‑14)–forces them to reduce Christ’s suffering and death to near irrelevance, a mere collection of useless stories for everybody outside the walls of the little churches in which they preach. Worse, the consequence of their microscopically limited gospel is that most of Christianity is just a cruel joke being played on an unsuspecting world. The Laestadian God has created humankind with the full knowledge that he is going to condemn almost all of them, sending them to their graves damned by the false consolation of at best a “dead” Christianity.

And what about Jesus’ promise that the seekers would find, that those who knock will find the door opened? Well, when someone is truly seeking, God will lead them to find “the Kingdom.” That was the explanation by one hapless preacher (§4.9.3, p. 335) in a sermon where he also candidly acknowledged the reaction of outsiders to these claims: “You really think this is the only place where forgiveness is found? Do you really think that you are the only group that is traveling to heaven, the only group of believers? Do you really believe that?” (§4.2.1, p. 86). Actually, not all of them; perhaps not even most of the people sitting in the pews on a given Sunday.

Like me and the bulk of the congregations they preach to, most of the guys sitting behind the pulpits spent their childhoods attending Sunday school, church, discussions, and church camps where the doctrines they now convey were hammered into their brains, along with the expectation that these matters are not to be questioned. When they misquote John 6:68 (it says, “Lord, to whom shall we go?”, they prefer “where else would we go”), they are doing so out of habit and sincerity. Where else would they go, indeed? It is inconceivable for most Laestadians to go anywhere else. Not just because of the indoctrination they received with its eternal promises and threats, but also the social environment to which they are attached–huge families, lifelong friends, familiar settings–as firmly and comfortably as barnacles to rock.

21 comments:

  1. It is very ignorant to think the LLC's "version of Laestadianism" is God's one true kingdom. There are thousands of churches that think the same thing, what makes your interpretations and practices any better? In most of those, much like yours, the entire membership is made up of people that were BORN INTO it, so I guess you don't know any better. If you were given the choice instead of getting brainwashed at youth, the outcome would be much different. This is how extreme places like North Korea exist. Why not just believe how you like and not act like you are God's select? It's narcissistic. There are so many things that are wrong about your organization that it would take a book to cover all the issues.

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  2. The American Laestadian groups have a penchant for choosing things to be 'sin' which allow them to remain separate from others. Hence things like high school sports, school plays & functions, going to movies, skiing, dances, attending another denomination's church service etc... are declared to be 'sin'. This allows Apostolic Lutheran types to set themselves on a pedestal and declare these activites to be sin. However, church guys get to hang out together at Carrow's and oggle the waitresses, others smoke & still others sit around and gossip. The lists could just go on and on. Laestadian Lutherans are usually quite forgiving and forebearing as long as there is a group consensus allowing some activity. In contrast they are unforgiving to that which is not generally allowed and/or any activity that does not involve the 'group.' It all makes for a pretty dismal life. Old AP

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  3. You nailed it very succinctly, Ed. I sat in church on Sunday and indeed the very things you mention were highlighted there. I looked around and wondered how many were like me, torn between wanted to just toss it all aside and weighing the consequences of doing so. I feel somehow awakened, and the fog is slowly clearing. For me it truly is the social environment that keeps me there, but even that seems to be losing its grip as the possibilities unfold...
    NWPonderer

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    1. NW Ponderer-Luther's quoe per Ed's research is, "The difference is that Conservative Laestadians view "true Christians" as few and clumped together in a few distinct places while Luther considered them to be "few and far between" (p. 237),"not many, but they are everywhere, though they are spread out thin and live far apart..." I discovered this on my own & that is when I really began to question things as I logically deduced that the Laestadian-type Lutheran's insistence on receiving (their) "forgiveness of sins" (verbal absolution) through their particular group was the only way one could go to heaven oviously implies that all other churches were going to hell as indeed that is what the speakers would infer when they repeated the mantra, "the dead faith churches of the world." When I discovered true Christians in other conservative Christian churches who seemed to have better Biblical understandings of new brith and faith & seemingly better practices of faith than I had ever heard about, I realized that something was drastically wrong with the whole 'one small (Laestadian) group' holding the 'keys' to heaven & the whole shebang about confessing sins and cleansing one's conscience on a routine basis etc... Years later, I finally discovered what it meant to be born again through faith in Christ in a conservative Biblically based chruch after I had UNLEARNED MOST OF WHAT I had been taught in Laestadianism. Interestingly enough, I now see Laestadius-the man-in a whole new concept as a powerful preacher of awakening and I fully accept him and what he did. However, I DO NOT accept modern day Apostolic Lutheranism, of whatever flavor, with all of their invented accoutrements which they claim come fromm God & Laestadius. The fog will keep clearing NWPonderer if you keep doing your homework. However, actually leaving the group is very difficult & one should indeed 'ponder' that move very carefully. Some people find a balance and remain members but they are know as 'really liberal' because they accept Christians fromother groups, do more things that are frowned upn or just have more personal liberty. That option prevents one from having to make a clean break like some of us did, but then we had to face the subtle glare of hate from members when one goes to the Post Office in Battleground for example. The big issue I found when I reluctantly stayed on as a member for a while is that I did not feel that I was being spiritually fed nor did I geel like I was growing in Christ. I might want to caution you that when I tried to talk with the speakers about what I believed true faith in Christ was they turned on me like snarling vipers and the defensive walls came right up. So do not think that you will be able to 'reform' your group/church if you remain a member. Old AP

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  4. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  5. Geez reading all of this is making my stomach sick and I don't even know why I'm reading this blog in the first place! Ed, and all you anonymous people, I would ask, please, just leave us "laestadians" alone, from behind your computer screens. It's so sad to see so many people speaking out and against our beliefs. Just believe how you want and leave other religions alone. I pray for your all of you to find peace.
    Allison Forstie

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  6. Yeah well it makes us sick to our stomachs to see people in your church judging others inside and outside your church. I am glad you pray for us, but we also pray for people like you. In the community I live in, LLC students in our school have a very bad reputation for being rude and judgemental to other students in the school. Also causing property damage and having little concern for others. You know that little chip on your shoulder, that feeling of superiority you have about being a member of the LLC, I too had that feeling of superiority. I too was angry if anyone questioned my religion because I didn't want anyone knocking me off that little soap box I was standing on. So I know how you feel because I was once in your situation. However, to see your church for what it really is, you need to see it from both sides, as a member and a non-member. Until you have been on both sides, you are not qualified to support it or not support it. I am noticing in the LLC and FALC, overall, are starting to have smaller families. I believe membership in the LLC, FALC, and other groups will naturally start to decrease as information about the church, and actions of the church members is widely available to anyone who has access to the internet. Knowledge is power.

    -EXFALC

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  7. Allison, according to LLC doctrine, the God you worship has created billions of people with the full knowledge that he would be condemning almost all of them to an eternity of torture. Only a tiny fraction ever even hear about “God’s Kingdom,” and so this God is allowing countless types of Christians–to say nothing of Muslims, Hindus, Jews, etc.–to go to their graves damned by the false consolation of their “dead” religions. It would make me sick to my stomach to read about that for the first time, too.

    Save your prayers for yourself. I don’t need or want them. Not trying to believe such a horrible, senseless, outrageous doctrine has given me a sense of peace and acceptance that I never had while in the LLC.

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  8. Knowledge is power,power is corruption,corruption is evil...and that is you exfalc. And all you other exs posting horrible accounts of your experiances. To all you who want llc groups to be more accepting-wow!!! You all are the most negative,judgemental people I have ever come across!! Wake up! Face your own faults.

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    1. So, according to your leaps of logic, knowledge = evil. Gotcha. The fallacious nature of your argument aside, I'm sure the irony is lost on you that you call the people posting here "negative,judgemental people (sic)" immediately after calling exfalc evil.

      If you actually bothered to take the mote out of your eye and read with an open mind, you'd see people here discuss their own faults all the time. We're all human, and nobody is claiming to be perfect. But most people have had negative experiences and/or significant doubts about the "one, true faith" they grew up with, and this place is a safe space to discuss those issues.

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    2. The more I think about the attempted syllogism above (knowledge = evil) the more it amuses me. I mean, all you can say to something like that is, "well then, stay stupid my friend."

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  9. I'm okay with people calling me evil. It makes me want to post on this site even more.

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    1. why would you say that? why are you feeling so vengeful? seems strange to me.
      I hope you have a great day!!

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  10. This is Free. Does everyone see a little paragraph below that asks you to sign your comments, or is that visible only to me?

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  11. Readers, if you have an idea about how to make it clear that comments must be signed, please let me know.

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  12. To the young man who is clearly frustrated because his unsigned comments were deleted, and who just wrote "I will open my own blog!! Against you people!!!", that's an option. You can continue to comment here, as long as you come up with a name and use it. It cannot be anonymous.

    My blog, my rules. Your blog, your rules. Simple as that.

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  13. Free, I think it's about as obvious as you can make it re: anonymity, short of putting a blinking neon banner on the home page. I'm a little bummed you deleted "frustrated guy's" comments, sounds like it could have been fun. :)

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  14. Here is Frustrated Guy's deleted comment:

    "No simple knowledge is good! But twisted knowledge that leads to a false sense of power truley does equal corruption that leads to evil! The opposite is true..I am not stupid at all. In fact I'm actually quite smart. Look at the comments above my last. Your is judging Allison!! And being downright cruel in your postings to her. Why not keep an open mind? Accept others beliefs?"

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    1. Bwahahahaha. Oh man, the irony is killing me. This would have been a perfectly executed parody.

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    2. Funny how frustrated guy thinks we should be accepting of their beliefs, when they are nowhere close to accepting of anyone else's beliefs. When you are truly solid in your beliefs, you can accept criticism from others without getting offended by those who disagree.
      -EXFALC

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  15. The final comment from Frustrated Guy:

    "The truth hurts bad right? I will never ever post on here again! You delete my post because you know it might make some sense! Wow! And open some peoples eyes! I will open my own blog!! Against you people!!!"

    I sincerely hope that he starts his own blog. We can all learn from each other, particularly from those who do not agree with us. As the Dalai Lama said, in the practice of tolerance, one's enemy is one's best teacher.

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