tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80887172024-03-20T23:59:49.496-07:00LEARNING TO LIVE FREELife After LaestadianismUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-40621218339259742532019-02-23T15:05:00.000-08:002019-03-11T09:33:23.132-07:00Liv & The Little Boy in the Red Sweater<iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/vU2vVvD0g-Y/0.jpg" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/vU2vVvD0g-Y?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br />
Two new books are available, both about child sex abuse in Laestadian families. One is in from Norway: <a href="https://www.tanum.no/_den-morke-hemmeligheten-i-tysfjord-anne-britt-harsem-9788202599058" target="_blank">Den mørke hemmeligheten i Tysfjord (The Dark Secret in Tysford)</a> by Anne-Britt Harsem. If you can read Norwegian (or know how to turn on translation), read today's compelling <a href="https://www.vg.no/spesial/2019/ut-av-morket/?utm_source=vgfront&utm_content=row-1&fbclid=IwAR1xG-oR8qSkehjW3Mv6HEcX7mLnn_NNuTBGSmG3L8EbDIjDw8_mPtY-eZY" target="_blank">news</a> story and interview with "Liv," the book's subject.<br />
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In English is a book by Carl Huhta, familiar to many readers for his gentle wisdom at the <a href="https://messyguru.typepad.com/messy_guru/" target="_blank">Messy Guru</a> blog. Carl's book is called <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Little-Boy-Red-Sweater-Journey/dp/1645164535/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1549214836&sr=1-1&keywords=the+little+boy+in+the+red" target="_blank">The Little Boy in the Red Sweater</a> and is available at Amazon in paperback and Kindle. He writes:<br />
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<i>My intention is to help others that have been traumatized by sexual abuse and other life-changing experiences. It is raw, honest, and it demonstrates that the pathways to healing can come from unexpected traditions like yoga and meditation.</i><br />
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Bravo, Carl. May your words give healing and courage wherever they are read.<br />
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(Whether or not his topic is relevant to our circumstances, let's all give homeboy some love and buy a copy, share the link, and leave a review. It's the least we can do.)<br /><br /><br />
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If you are a survivor of sex abuse, you may want to skip this post, as it is likely to open old wounds. Everyone else, please read on.<br />
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I posted here about Tysfjord in 2016 when the story broke and have been following the updates since then, much of it in Norwegian, using Google Translate to make sense of them<i>. </i>Many of the victims and abusers in Tysfjord are/were Firstborn Laestadian, the corollary to the Old Apostolic Lutheran Church here in America; both follow the same leaders in Gällivare, Sweden.<br />
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I've been following the situation with both horror and hope: horror that so many were hurt, and hope that healing is possible -- not only for the Tysfjord victims but for every family, workplace, church, and community yet to be cleansed by the #metoo tsunami.</div>
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When I emailed a relative inside the OALC about my hope that the situation in Tysfjord would compel the Gällivare elders to reform church practices, he responded "they would not try to affect natural affairs, as that would violate the doctrine of St. Paul, as he only allows one subject, to preach Jesus and Himself crucified."<br />
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Perhaps there was a misunderstanding? Perhaps not. The OALC may well view its silencing of sex abuse victims as virtuous rather than complicitous.<br />
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In April, I received a phone call from a friend who grew up in the OALC, a survivor of childhood sexual abuse by an uncle who escaped all consequences in spite of his confession to preachers. Like so many other victims, she was first disbelieved, and then instructed to forgive and forget (if she did not forgive him, the sin would be on her soul). At 27 years old, she had struggled with crippling depression since childhood, and she was calling to tell me of other victims in the church, similarly abused and silenced, some related to her, some not. Her anguish was evident.<br />
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What can we do, she asked? Together we talked about possible actions, e.g., bringing a lawsuit for obstruction of justice. Lobbying for a change in the mandatory reporting law to specify lay clergy. Creating a shelter and legal fund to help women in the church to divorce abusive husbands (instead of staying, afraid to lose custody in a church-funded court battle). Filming a documentary on the church. Ultimately we decided to start with a smaller, more achievable project: Youtube interviews of OALC abuse victims. Before I hung up the phone, I told her about Tysfjord, how an entire "Firstborn" community was finding its voice, and why it gave me hope for reforms in the OALC. I mentioned that I was collecting notes for a blog post.<br />
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Send me your notes, she said. I emailed them on May 3rd. Three weeks later, she took her own life.<br />
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All who loved Kara are heartbroken, and searching for ways we could have helped prevent her death. If you are one of us, may we use that heartbreak to do the work she didn't have the strength to continue.<br />
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For the child she was, and the children she loved, I want to believe the tipping point is here.<br />
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That point comes, in the words of Tysfjord's Sámi community center director Lars Magne Andreasson, when "the shame of staying <i>quiet</i> about abuse becomes greater than the shame of speaking up."<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;"><i>When the shame of staying quiet becomes greater than the shame of speaking up</i></span></b></blockquote>
The shame of complicity with abusers -- of <i>not protecting the vulnerable -- </i>must prick the awakened consciences in the church. "Faith in the elders" must not be used as an excuse for an individual to avoid personal ethical and legal action. The lay clergy in the OALC are given power most of them did not ask for, and for which few are equipped or educated.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyQXhJr23-R11yBgVapkjpLVrMFVE_E2iyqbNz68EmJxPBbnDbAGbOa3cMNQ1KcFZwtyOSZ5E4x-KF1vordGEVYjlGpz-LVxW1236u_hp4Ftz8aK9rQyDSdt14DGcpz3PF0oMw/s1600/silencecomplicity.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyQXhJr23-R11yBgVapkjpLVrMFVE_E2iyqbNz68EmJxPBbnDbAGbOa3cMNQ1KcFZwtyOSZ5E4x-KF1vordGEVYjlGpz-LVxW1236u_hp4Ftz8aK9rQyDSdt14DGcpz3PF0oMw/s1600/silencecomplicity.jpg" /></a></div>
No doubt some preachers are doing the right thing, ethically and legally, if the increasing number of OALC men being prosecuted for sex crimes are an indication (my readers send me news items). But considerably more "known offenders" remain at large, and the OALC grapevine, and whatever red/yellow/green alert systems any family may adopt, are not preventing their access to victims.<br />
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The church leadership in Gällivare must address the systemic problem.<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Until OALC elders state clearly that sex abuse is a <i>crime, </i>to be reported to law enforcement and investigated by the state not the church, the cycle of abuse will continue. </span></b><br />
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To understand Tysfjord, context is important. For the majority of residents, who are Sámi and Laestadian, the historical trauma of colonization is ample justification for distrusting the state and preferring private, interpersonal resolutions over legal ones. Colonization deprived the Sámi of self-determination, language, land, and culture, and disrupted the social bonds that protected children. Forced assimilation, called "Norwegianisation, was institutionalized from the mid-1800s and within living memory of some Tysfjord residents. How can the state that forcibly separated families be trusted?<br />
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“One of the most important reasons why people with Sami background don’t report violence is that they lack trust in the state apparatus. . . (and) the tabooing of sex and body, the silence concerning everything private, and the idea that issues are solved within the family. We find such ideas everywhere in Norway, but there are indications that these taboos are stronger within Laestadian and Sami communities." (Researcher <a href="http://kjonnsforskning.no/en/2017/06/sami-victims-violence-do-not-seek-help">Solveig Bergman</a>, whose 2017 survey indicated Sámi victims of violence are less likely to seek help than Norwegians.)<br />
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Laestadianism's exclusivism and gender roles further impede transparency and accountability, making it all the more remarkable for #metoo to succeed in Tysfjord.<br />
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A recap:<br />
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In 2016, in a community of only 2,000 residents, decades of widespread sex abuse were revealed, sending shock waves throughout Norway and beyond. This came after years of persistence by parents trying to get the attention of authorities, and ultimately, one abuse survivor whose post on Facebook was read by a journalist. That journalist's research culminated in a national newspaper article, which was read by Tysfjord's chief of police, who demanded her deputies conduct an immediate investigation, which revealed 151 sexual assaults over six decades, by mostly male, but also a couple of female abusers. Forty were rapes of young children.<br />
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Most of the cases were too old to prosecute.<br />
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Nine years earlier, in 2007, desperate parents held a meeting in Tysfjord where local authorities were informed of the scope of the problem. The reaction was disbelief. Nothing more. Victims reporting to church leaders were likewise met with disbelief, or told to forgive and forget. Some of the families in Tysfjord developed their own system of protecting kids: families were assigned red, yellow, or green depending on how safe it was for children to sleep there, or even to visit. Red meant danger of rape or molestation.<br />
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It was not until a national newspaper published the article in 2016, and the police chief found it compelling, that interviews began. One thousand of them. Two cases have ended with convictions so far and more are in the pipeline. (The full police report, in Norwegian, can be found <a href="https://www.politiet.no/globalassets/04-aktuelt-tall-og-fakta/voldtekt-og-seksuallovbrudd/sluttrapport-tysfjord_endelig.pdf" target="_blank">here</a>.)<br />
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One of the victims said that when she was a teenager in the village, young people told each other about sexual abuse, but adults would not listen. </div>
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"We were called whores and liars." (<a href="http://www.bbc.com/news/stories-43478396" target="_blank">Nina Iverson, BBC news story</a>)</blockquote>
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When Tysfjord's Firstborn leaders were asked to <a href="https://www.vg.no/nyheter/innenriks/i/yPwog/menighet-undersoeker-selv-mistanker-om-seksuelle-overgrep" target="_blank">comment</a>, they initially said that preachers conduct their own investigations into sex abuse allegations, and report only when deemed necessary. This was met with outrage.<br />
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"The preachers have no prerequisite for making such assessments. It is the police's task." (Former Tysfjord sheriff Kenneth Nilsen)</blockquote>
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"I strongly respond to the statements from the church in Tysfjord . . . everybody has a duty to report suspicion of child and youth abuse." (Norwegian Child and Equality Minister Solveig Horne)</blockquote>
The following month, the church issued another statement (<a href="https://www.an.no/debatt/tysfjord/overgrep/tysfjord-lastadianere-og-overgrep/o/5-4-336213" target="_blank">here, in Norwegian</a>) disavowing their former release. In a church where "nothing changes," something had changed.<br />
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The elders in Gällivare surely know the unintended consequences of certain practices, that the "forgive and forget" tradition effectively colludes with rapists and pedophiles, allowing them to maintain access to the victim. A child is even less likely to report abuse to an adult if she knows she may be required to meet with her abuser and "talk to the preachers," often alone, without her parents. This is truly inexcusable.<br />
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Now imagine a child being required to <i>embrace</i> his or her abuser and say the ritual words granting forgiveness and asking repentance. What did the victim do, to be required to repent? She tempted him. She sat on his lap. She didn't resist enough.<br />
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How many victims were compelled to forgive OALC pedophiles before a parent -- often a "worldly" or one whose standing in the church was already compromised -- ignored the advice and filed charges?<br />
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State law in America is sadly less protective of victims than Norwegian law, but telling a victim of crime <i>not to report</i> to authorities is illegal everywhere. It's called obstruction of justice.<br />
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Will it take a lawsuit against the OALC to change this practice?<br />
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Kara thought so.<br />
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The average pedophile molests <a href="http://yellodyno.com/Statistics/statistics_child_molester.html" target="_blank">260 victims during their lifetime</a>. Over 90% of convicted pedophiles are arrested again for the same offense after their release from prison.<br />
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"like other sexual orientations, pedophilia is unlikely to change. The goal of treatment, therefore, is to prevent someone from acting on pedophile urges — either by decreasing sexual arousal around children or increasing the ability to manage that arousal. <i>But neither is as effective for reducing harm as preventing access to children, or providing close supervision." </i>(<a href="https://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletter_article/pessimism-about-pedophilia">Harvard Medical School</a>)<br />
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How many pedophiles remain in the OALC community's good graces, attending church and gatherings, while their victims drifted into isolation, mental illness, drug use, suicide?<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Kara's abuser attended her funeral. He sat in the church that protected him, and rejected her, that allowed him access to other victims even after he confessed.</span></b></blockquote>
Let that sink in. Do you see anything remotely Christian about that?<br />
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According to the Norwegian news service NRK, "tens of victims and their supporters" received threats of violence and reprisals after speaking up. Here in America, we should expect no better. But change is coming.<br />
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The municipality of Tysfjord has apologized for its neglect. The Norwegian government pledged <a href="http://www.dagen.no/Nyheter/innenriks/Tysfjord-f%C3%A5r-24-millioner-kroner-til-tillitsprosjekt-558806" target="_blank">monetary support</a> (over $1 million) to increase cultural competence among service providers, to build trust. Big name musicians gathered in Tysfjord and performed, gratis, at <a href="https://tv.nrk.no/serie/sapmi-konsert/SAPP63041018/10-03-2018">a concert </a>affirming Sámi mihá (pride). There were unexpectedly large numbers who attended an interfaith (Lutheran and Laestadian, that is) service in the Tysfjord church. Sámi journalist Kenneth Haetta and three others <a href="https://www.nrk.no/sapmi/fritt-ords-pris-til-journalistene-i-tysfjord-saken-1.13991107" target="_blank">were awarded the Fritt Ords Prize</a> for their reporting. (Listen to this English-language <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/w3csvp08" target="_blank">BBC report</a> on the process of healing.)<br />
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Lars Magne Andreasson is optimistic:</div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">"We've come to the point where we dare to have the conversation."</span></b></blockquote>
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It's past time for American Firstborn, and those who have left the church, to have that conversation. In our homes and if necessary, in the courts.<br />
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If you would like to be interviewed for Kara's Youtube series, please send me a note.<br />
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It's time to speak truth to power.</div>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-21022165216241541022014-02-22T10:41:00.001-08:002014-02-22T10:41:32.620-08:00Do You Travel?<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/9GWoQq-j1ms" width="560"></iframe><br />When I graduated from college, I took my first trip to Europe with a borrowed backpack, a Rick Steves' guidebook, and a head full of poetry. That trip changed my life, and I returned with a very different view of myself, my country, the world, and my future.<br />
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Listening to Rick Steves in this interview, I wondered if people who love travel are unlikely to remain in Laestadianism. What about you?<br />
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What role has travel played in your life?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-84484574798129415502013-12-16T23:34:00.000-08:002013-12-16T23:34:57.513-08:00Healing from Hell Horror<div style="margin-left: 2em;">
“If hell is not a nice place for those who never have come to the knowledge of salvation, it surely is still hotter for those, who have once tasted the tribulations of hell and yet want to go there to eternal death. It must become still hotter for those who have had a foretaste of the kingdom of heaven and then return to the world from where the way leads to hell.”</div>
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—Lars Levi Laestadius, 1853</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hell Preacher. Composed from one of my <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/edsuom/10538934356/">photos</a> along with a CC-licensed <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/theparadigmshifter/2535187424/">one</a> by Michael “theparadigmshifter.”</td></tr>
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Laestadians are raised to believe in and fear a place of eternal torment if they should die as “unbelievers” or with “unforgiven sin” on their consciences. Although LLC preachers have not been very explicit about the subject, at least not in recent years, a <a href="http://archive.laestadianlutheran.org/sermons/Minneapolis_2013/112913_NMuhonen.mp3">recent sermon</a> from a preacher in the Rockford, Minnesota congregation reminds listeners of the unthinkably high stakes:<br />
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Even in a temporal sense, we can understand what the pain might feel like of the fires of hell. If you’ve ever burnt the tip of your finger lighting a candle or something, you know how bad that hurts. Imagine living in eternity in that kind of pain and agony, like the Bible describes, “wailing and gnashing of teeth.” So, it pays to believe, dear brothers and sisters. [23:00-24:32]</blockquote>
<i>It pays to believe</i>, he says, a phrase repeated in many a sermon. This reveals the essential cynicism of fear-based religion. “Belief” is tribute paid to a bullying strongman of a God in order to avoid horrific consequences down the road. It would be ridiculous to tell someone it “pays to hear” or “pays to see” that there is something in front of you. It can only pay to <i>pretend</i> to hear or see, like the townspeople cheering the fashion sense of a naked emperor just before an impertinent little kid spoils everything.<br />
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As time goes by, I spend less and less time thinking about Laestadianism or even religion, and even less time shouting at the curbside about it. Of course, the experiences and former beliefs of half a lifetime will always occupy a large portion of my brain, whether I like it or not. Those neurons are gone forever, along with the handful devoted to the term “twerking,” whose actual meaning I steadfastly refuse to learn. But I still sometimes drift off to the sermons on an iPod slipped under the pillow at night.<br />
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When I heard this little discourse on Hell during one of those sermons, I pictured how it must have put a little burst of panic into the hearts of those kids who’d listened to worldly music or had lust in their hearts or watched some inappropriate videos the night before. It seemed like a bit more writing might be in order, for the sake of the troubled and former Laestadians whom I know are reading <a href="http://blog.edsuom.com/">my blog</a>, so I spent some time writing a detailed posting, <a href="http://blog.edsuom.com/2013/12/healing-from-hell-horror.html">Healing from Hell Horror</a>.<br />
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These currents of fear can run very deep indeed. That, along with all the social benefits of a close and comfortable little group huddled against the world, is why these churches manage to retain as many members as they do. I had to work very hard to overcome my own hell horror. There’s no shame in that, for me or for you. We are just overcoming what the church did to us, and a lifetime of indoctrination is not something everyone can reverse overnight, just like that.<br />
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The stakes, after all, are unthinkably high. As I told one of the few Laestadian friends who dared to discuss issues with me in depth after hearing I’d left the fold, I wouldn’t have left if I thought there were a 1% chance of it being true. I could probably work up that level of belief, given the consequences for being wrong about the other 99%. But it’s not true, not even a little bit, including the Hell part.<br />
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Take a look at the <a href="http://blog.edsuom.com/2013/12/healing-from-hell-horror.html" rel="nofollow">blog posting</a> if this still has a hold on you, or still holds interest for you. There’s some discussion of the power of fear, a bit of history about Hell, and—believe it or not—a dog story. If you’d rather read something on a less dreary topic, I also have a posting there (with pretty pictures!) on that other long-dreamed of destination for a life beyond the grave, <a href="http://blog.edsuom.com/2013/09/paradise.html">Paradise</a>.<br />
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After you do, please come back and offer your thoughts. I’m not willing to deal with the hassle of comments on my own blog, but the thoughtful dialogue that takes place in comments from extoots readers has been a wonderful component of the reading available here. How have the Laestadian teachings about hellfire and damnation affected you? If you’ve left, how did you recover from the lingering fear? Or did it not linger much at all, as with a few fortunate people I’ve spoken with? What would you say to those troubled souls who lurk on these blogs wondering if they will ever be able to overcome the terror of leaving, or even questioning?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-80614597547901101362013-05-13T14:41:00.000-07:002013-05-16T22:27:33.310-07:00What Do You Want?<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;">Thanks to everyone for maintaining a civil dialogue, and for including a name or nickname with your comments. The following is a guest post by a </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;">member of the Laestadian Lutheran Church. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;">Please consider her questions thoughtfully before responding. —Free</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Andrew Z. Colvin, CC-licensed</td></tr>
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I'm not much of a deep thinker. I don't ponder life's big questions, nor do I enjoy "a good debate." I have always said I see too much of both sides. I am often persuaded to see one side, only to be persuaded back in the next moment. I like to think of myself as a compassionate person. I am not a mover and a shaker. But, I am passionate about helping my fellow man in every small way I can.</div>
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When I first approached Free about a guest post, I had a very different post written out. I wanted to share my positive, though not perfect, experience growing up LLC. I ended up with a few days to ponder it, while talking with some of you here, and found that I discovered that many of you would not understand why I thought I needed to share it. If you really do want to know why, just ask. I don't like feeling defensive, and felt that in sharing this particular story I would not be understood, and I'd be left defending my "right to a happy childhood."<span class="s1"><br />
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</span>I think some of you have had such a strongly negative experience that you no longer believe there are ANY '"normal" people in a Laestadian church, just abusers and abused. I would not tell you that you should not share your story because<i> I am a good person </i>and <i>you're attacking me.</i> I played no particular role in what happened to you and the sharing of your story should not harm me. Your story deserves to be shared. So does mine.<span class="s1"><br /></span></div>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><span style="color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>I played no particular role in what happened to you and the sharing of your story should not harm me. Your story deserves to be shared. So does mine. </i></span></b></blockquote>
<blockquote>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">
</span>I strongly believe in coming to know and understand another's experiences. I think we can learn something from everyone if we only stop to listen. Like Jekida, I desire "changes in how people treat one another, which can only come through awareness and understanding of others." And that is, essentially, why I am here today, listening and talking. To understand others experience, why they chose to leave, and try help them understand why someone would choose to stay. </div>
</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
I do not come here to change anyone's religious (or, perhaps, non-religious) beliefs. We all have a path we feel is right for us. If you are happy and at peace with your personal life choices, you deserve that. If you are not, I am here to listen and try help you find peace. In listening and reading what is said here, I find that my understandings of the LLC teachings are so different from a lot of yours, and I wonder why that is, but I cannot say your understandings are WRONG. Though I do not understand them in the same way, so sometimes I feel they are wrong. I'm not sure if that makes any sense. I wonder, how can it be that we grew up, supposedly with very similar teachings, yet I think it means one thing, and you think another? If we are so united, how does this happen? And, are these differences what separates one who "remains believing" from one who does not? </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><span style="color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>I wonder, how can it be that we grew up, supposedly with very similar teachings, yet I think it means one thing, and you think another? </i></span></b></blockquote>
<blockquote>
<div class="p1">
I generally don't like to talk myself up, but I will indulge in a little self-pride to help you understand where I am coming from. Keep in mind I know I am far from a perfect human, and I often treat others in ways that I shouldn't. I strive for a better me, always. I am currently assisting a friend with the process of entering a center for eating disorders and sexual abuse victims. I am married to a man who was sexually abused as a youth (for any who care, he was able to get the help he needed as well as see legal action). So, sexual abuse is a topic that is near to my heart. People do not like to think they know someone capable of such actions and "hearsay" can be easily dismissed in this manner (which in no way makes it right!). I am a firm believer in getting help for all types of abuse. I promote therapy, healing, and legal ramifications, all after the victim has been safely removed from the abusive situation. I wish I knew ways to ensure no one was ever abused, but I don't. </div>
<div class="p3">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
I am slightly removed from other believers in my current stage of life, but I try speak out against gossip when it comes up in conversations. I am not brave, and sometimes I fail when I am in a large group setting, but always when with friends, I speak up. I reach out when my friends leave the church, knowing they could not have made an easy decision, and probably need a friend most. Of course there is always the thought that, as long as they have contact with me, they could someday repent, but I do not discuss it nor push it. I want to see them happy and healthy. Being "in the church" is a bit like living in a small town, everyone seems to know everyone, gossip runs rampant, and the support can be amazingly overwhelming when it wants to be. Not everyone wants to live in a small town. Good and bad is found within it. </div>
</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white; color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><i>What can we do to promote the change you desire? </i></b></span></blockquote>
<blockquote>
<div class="p3">
</div>
<div class="p1">
So, I am here listening to your stories, generally as objectively as possible. I believe them. I support help for abuse victims, speak to others on the topic, and encourage people to open their minds about the truth of it. I don't like gossip, and try to bring awareness as to the hurt it causes others. I try to teach my children to grow up with the awareness's I have had to learn. Yet, I feel as though I am easily dismissed as someone who pushes the "LLC agenda," so to speak, and therefore am uncaring and un-understanding. I do not know who most of you are, I do not know the <i>who, what, and where o</i>f what happened to you. And besides that, most of you no longer need that active "person on your side." So, what do you expect of me? What can we, untouched by abuse, do to "fight evil" as Beth puts it? What can we do to promote the change you desire? I wish I was a stronger person, but instead God made me to be someone who promotes change in a quiet, unassuming way. While this will not result in changes for today, it will, I hope, result in change for tomorrow. I do not deal well with conflict, I like resolutions.</div>
<div class="p2">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
~Just a thought </div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com47tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-63195799375565880042012-12-18T12:14:00.001-08:002012-12-18T12:35:53.137-08:00Reach Out, Take My Hand<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: right;">
<a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/80/Distant.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/80/Distant.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
I know many of us have on our hearts the senseless tragedy in Connecticut, and many here in Washington State are mourning the loss of a sweet little girl to suicide. May these deaths inspire us to reach out to others, to listen to their pain, to offer solace, and to work toward a society that recognizes and treats abuse and mental illness of all kinds.<br />
<br />
The powerful story below was submitted by a reader.<br />
<blockquote>
When I was 11 or 12, I decided I was going to commit suicide. I took a sleeping bag, a family sized bottle of Bayer Aspirin, and a canteen into the woods, where . . . I lost my nerve after a few hours. I left all of these items in the forest, and if my mother ever looked for the sleeping bag, the aspirin, and the canteen, she never questioned why these items were missing. </blockquote>
<blockquote>
I lost my nerve because, according to church doctrine, I could not determine if I had reached the age of reason, and in taking my own life I would go to hell. Sermons gave conflicting opinions. Our believer friend “Lasse,” who we all consulted regarding spiritual matters, thought it was age 20, but some ministers said confirmation age, and another believer thought it could be as low as age eight.
I did not want to take any chances on hell, so I did not kill myself. </blockquote>
<blockquote>
<br />
<a name='more'></a>Now, in my fifth decade of life, I have safely determined I’ll either have to go by natural causes or by catastrophic accident. </blockquote>
<blockquote>
I was a willful child. I could not be forced or cajoled into some things I did not want to do. If my mother said, “Do x or you will not get dessert,” I said fine and went without dessert. Yet I did help out around the house, just as much as my sisters, and I willingly took on some chores of my own doing, but I did refuse to do others.
I also mouthed off. I rolled eyeballs. I challenged my mother, especially when I thought she said stupid things, or blamed someone unjustly. </blockquote>
<blockquote>
Our family looked so perfect from the outside. We lived in a community that had very few people from our Laestadian church, and we socialized nearly exclusively with them and were encouraged to make only "believer" friends. We lived deep in the woods. But underneath the façade—of the many children with high IQ's and off-the-charts comprehensive tests scores and who all made the honor roll every quarter—we were a troubled family. </blockquote>
<blockquote>
My father had a secret second life and often had extramarital affairs, beginning from the time of his wife’s second pregnancy, which resulted in my birth. Despite the ban against alcohol, sometimes we found hidden bottles in the sofa cushions.
My mother had frequent explosive emotional breakdowns and tirades in which she blamed her children for her misery, not the real cause, her husband. I was her most frequent target. I made the mistake, many times, of challenging her, whereas my more compliant siblings hid in the garage or shoved fingers in their ears and hid in closets during her outbursts, which seemed to last for hours. </blockquote>
<blockquote>
I found out later that this probably had more to do with birth order than anything else, that I became the family’s scapegoated child. It started with my mother, who rejected me, perhaps like she believed her husband was rejecting her. I was the perfect 7 year old foil, the perfect object for projection. Then it moved on to all my siblings who also rejected me, even the littlest one, and pretty soon every day was a terrible uphill battle. It is hard for me to fathom the terrible things my siblings were allowed to say to me, in my parents’ presence, without censure. Yet if I were ever to retaliate, and call them names back, I was punished, or subject to further name calling by my own mother. Only once do I recall a parent intervening, and it was my father, who was usually not home. </blockquote>
<blockquote>
I brought my low self-esteem and hang-dog personality to school with me, and it only took two to three years of abuse at home before my classmates started picking on me too. I hung my head low and never protested, and no one believed I was troubled—just quiet and shy.
The older me understands my mother’s life was a mess. Seven children, a wandering spouse, and too much month left at the end of the money. I understand why she looked at my face, and saw her own, and rejected it. It was a form of rejecting herself. I understand why my compliant siblings became her favorites, and why I became her perfect scapegoat. </blockquote>
<blockquote>
It took many decades to realize that I was not a bad person, and that indeed, I was an especially good and loving person.
I have many, stories that I could tell, but I don’t think this blog is the appropriate forum. I wish the 11-year old me had met someone—anyone—who might have helped me. I am not sure if I would have been believed, given my family’s very good status in the community. I was never any speck of trouble at school and neither were my siblings.
I did meet someone, a couple years down the line, who was a member of my church. She liked me. She told me I was pretty, and smart, and called me her “other daughter.” Sometimes as I was going about doing chores at home, I would think about her and smile. </blockquote>
<blockquote>
Maybe she saved my life. </blockquote>
<blockquote>
I never shared with her my family troubles, but maybe she knew or was able to read between the lines.
I am glad I changed my mind. I would never have gone to college, married, and had children. I learned there was life outside of the Laestadian movement, and that my family was not emotionally healthy. I have worked very hard in the last few years to understand that my family’s problems were not all my fault. I was not the cause of all our problems, despite my mother’s repeated insistence that “this family could be happy if it wasn’t for you” (which seemed to be said at every attempt I ever made to hold her accountable for her actions and/or behavior). </blockquote>
<blockquote>
I also understand there is a difference between being a bit strong-willed and independent, and being a bad person.
Thirty years after my contemplated suicide, I also fully realize that I am not and have never been crazy, either, and I question the sanity of a mother who would hurl accusations of a daughter of being “schizophrenic” just because she was not compliant. I have weathered many storms in my life and I have never found myself out of touch with reality or in a locked mental ward. But even if I had, it would not have made me a bad person who deserved physical and verbal abuse!</blockquote>
<blockquote>
I heard about the news about the 13 year old girl from the OALC who hung herself, and that her mother described her as a “strong-willed” child, and I see myself in her story. I don’t know many details of her story, but I understand the place where she is coming from, where there is no place where you can find relief from verbal, physical, and emotional abuse. Some young people even have to deal with sexual abuse, which I am relieved to say was never an issue for me. </blockquote>
<blockquote>
If there are any young people reading this blog who are looking for help, please contact someone—a school social worker, a teacher, or nurse—an enlightened witness—to understand you’re not bad. It could be as simple as the woman who said nice things about me at a time that no one else did. It might be a neighbor, a teacher, or even someone at your church.</blockquote>
Thank you, reader, for sharing your story. And thanks also to the reader who submitted resources for the <a href="http://extoots.blogspot.com/p/resources.html">Help Stop Abuse page.</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-67450950881936162142011-08-23T13:47:00.000-07:002011-08-23T13:56:11.587-07:00Judy's BlogA new blog by an ex-FALC member went online this month, <a href="http://judysblog.typepad.com/finding-my-way/2011/08/finding-my-way.html">Finding My Way ...Finding My Voice</a>
<br />
<br />Only a few weeks old, she's already posted about <a href="http://judysblog.typepad.com/finding-my-way/laestadianism/">Laestadianism</a>, <a href="http://judysblog.typepad.com/finding-my-way/sami/">the Sami</a>, and <a href="http://judysblog.typepad.com/finding-my-way/abuse/">sexual abuse</a>.
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<br />Reading Judy's posts was a good reminder for me that people are still leaving Laestadianism every day.
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<br />I wish Judy well in her journey.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-67998407139633679052011-03-28T06:44:00.000-07:002011-03-28T06:47:21.893-07:00Key Laestadian sentenced to PrisonThanks to Old AP for the link:<br /><a href="http://www.hs.fi/english/article/Key+figure+in+Laestadian+movement+sentenced+to+prison/1135264459902">Key figure in Laestadian movement sentenced to prison</a><br /><br /><i>A middle-aged man described as an influential figure in the Conservative Laestadians, a revival movement of the Finnish Evangelical Lutheran Church, has been sentenced to prison for molesting a girl who is a relative.</i><br /><br />According to the article an internal study has also been done by the SRK regarding abuse, to be released in April.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-67846157628184204062011-01-06T07:22:00.000-08:002011-01-10T05:48:28.361-08:00Laestadian sex abuse case goes to trialHere's a link to <a href="http://metropolitan.fi/archives/14921">an extremely short article</a> stating that:<br /><br /><i>A prominent figure in the Laestadian revival movement faces charges of child sexual abuse and rape in a case that goes to trial next week, reports the newspaper Helsingin Sanomat.</i><br /><br />If I can find more about this story I'll post some follow ups. I think going to trial is one of the best things that can happen for getting the facts out.<br /><br />UPDATE 01.10.2011<br />Here's a link to a longer version of the story:<br /><a href="http://www.hs.fi/english/article/Leading+Laestadian+figure+charged+with+serious+sex+crimes/1135262884956">Leading Laestadian figure charged with serious sex crimes</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-8038687144722006062010-12-16T10:06:00.000-08:002010-12-16T10:40:40.095-08:00Is Laestadianism really Lutheran?<a href="http://finnforge.blogspot.com/">FinnForge</a> got me thinking about this question. While FinnForge seems very certain that true Laestadianism is Lutheran, I'm not so sure.<br /><br />When I was looking to leave Laestadianism, the first places I checked out were the <a href="http://www.lcms.org/">LCMS</a>, <a href="http://www.wels.net/">WELS</a>, <a href="http://www.elca.org/">ELCA</a>, and other branches of Lutheranism. They seemed very strange and alien, having little in common with my childhood church.<br /><br />The biggest difference that was most immediately apparent was liturgy. Lutheran churches had it, and Laestadian churches didn't have it. As far as style of worship was concerned, I always felt much more comfortable in Baptist churches than Lutheran ones.<br /><br />Differences in worship style often reflect different theological convictions. I think a liturgical style underscores the communal aspects of faith. Churches that don't have liturgy often emphasize a more individualistic approach. Both Baptists and Laestadians (at least back in the beginnings of the movement) emphasize a very individualistic "new birth" as essential.<br /><br />Maybe that's why Laestadians don't have liturgy, and seem so ambivalent about infant baptism (gotta do it, but don't ever say that it actually accomplishes anything.) I personally think that it's hard to understand <a href="http://extoots.blogspot.com/2007/11/tomte-thoughts-on-baptism_28.html">what infant baptism is supposed to accomplish</a> without an appreciation for liturgy. In the liturgy, the church corporately acts out the story of Christian faith; in baptism the participants are bearing witness to and making manifest what God has already done.<br /><br />Another way that Laestadianism seems really different from Lutheranism is the emphasis on the total depravity of human beings. Maybe this comes from all the amped-up rhetoric in Laestadius' sermons --he needed to get people to the breaking point by any means possible so that they would experience "the awakened state" or "new birth." Whereas more Catholic, Anglican, or Lutheran notions of humanity would see them as created good by God but fallen and in need of redemption. A Laestadian view of human nature seems more similiar to Calvinism or the Baptists than Lutheranism.<br /><br />What are some other things about Laestadianism that make it very different than other branches of Lutheranism?<br /><br />See also: <a href="http://extoots.blogspot.com/2009/09/pietism-baptism-and-laestadianism_4778.html">Pietism, Baptism, and Laestadianism</a><br /><br /><a href="http://extoots.blogspot.com/2007/11/tomte-thoughts-on-baptism_28.html">Tomte's thoughts on Baptism</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-79280299179231770932010-11-22T06:14:00.000-08:002010-11-22T07:06:14.310-08:00Why Laestadianism Never ApologizesIf you're waiting for any official branch of Laestadianism (either in Finland or in the United States) to apologize for the sex abuse and the subsequent cover ups, their exclusionary theology, or the way in which dissent is quelled and dissenters expelled, you may have to wait a very very long time.<br /><br />At least such is the preliminary finding of new research by Dr. Mikko Ketola of the University of Helsinki in his new paper entitled "Apologising for Past Errors: Two Finnish Religious Revival Movements and Their Different Strategies." (<a href="http://www.history.ac.uk/cihec/sites/history.ac.uk.CIHEC/files/Ketola.pdf">Click here for a link to the paper as a PDF file</a>)<br /><br />Dr. Ketola compares and contrasts two different conservative Finnish revival movements, the Finnish Lutheran Mission and SRK Laestadianism. Both have engaged in past behaviour that reasonably could prompt an official apology. The Finnish Lutheran Mission made such an apology, but to date SRK Laestadianism has not apologized. According to Ketola, Laestadianism's exclusionary "congregational doctrine" is primarily to blame. When you believe that your congregation is the true kingdom of God and all other Christians are on the road to hell, it doesn't lend itself to humility, accurate self-assessment, or apology.<br /><br />Dr. Ketola's research paper is in English, only 13 pages and well worth the read. In addition to the topic of official apologies, Ketola also touches on the role of the internet in giving current adherents and ex-members a chance to express their dissent anonymously. A quote:<br /><br /><i>In cases like the SRK-Laestadianism where the community itself does<br />not encourage or tolerate criticism, an outside forum where criticism can be practised anonymously is almost the only viable channel through which to pursue change.</i><br /><br />In addition to Dr. Ketola's research paper, there is also an in-depth blog post at <a href="http://freepathways.wordpress.com/2010/11/21/healing-meetings/">Freepathways</a> that provides an excellent summary of the research along with a photograph of Mikko Ketola.<br /><br />Links: <a href="http://www.history.ac.uk/cihec/sites/history.ac.uk.CIHEC/files/Ketola.pdf">Apologising for Past Errors: Two Finnish Religious Revival Movements and Their Different Strategies</a>, (PDF) by Dr. Mikko Ketola of the University of Helsinki, Department of Church History and current (2010-2015) president of the CIHEC (Commission Internationale d’Histoire et d’Etudes du Christianisme)<br /><br /><a href="http://freepathways.wordpress.com/2010/11/21/healing-meetings/">No Apologising for Past Violence of SRK-Laestadians Healing Meetings</a>, by FreepathwaysUnknownnoreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-48600901765538443802010-10-25T06:50:00.000-07:002010-10-25T08:55:28.574-07:00Finnish Lutheran Sex Discrimination CaseThis interesting article popped up in my feed reader this morning:<br /><br /><i>from HELSINGIN SANOMAT:</i> <a href="http://www.hs.fi/english/article/Woman+pastor+wins+sex+discrimination+case/1135261096454">Woman pastor wins sex discrimination case</a><br /><br /><i>Pohjanraitio had been scheduled to serve at the altar, handing out communion. However, before the service, she was told by the visiting pastor that his apostolic beliefs prevented him from working with a woman pastor at the altar.</i><br /><br />Does the phrase "apostolic beliefs" mean that the visiting pastor was Laestadian? Does anyone know if the pastor in question was definitely Laestadian?<br /><br />This article raises lots of interesting questions for me regarding the relationship between religion and the state. Because the Lutheran church is government supported in Finland, does that give the state the authority to enforce civil rights?<br /><br />If this had happened in the United States I think the courts would never had gotten involved, due to the separation of church and state. In the United States Laestadians are not part of a state church --they control who gets ordained and women are not allowed to be ordained in any Laestadian denomination, so that's another reason this never could have happened in the U.S.<br /><br />On the one hand, I very strongly support freedom for religions to practice and ordain as they see fit without government interference. But on the other hand if any tax dollars are supporting an institution I very strongly believe that then the public has a valid interest in regulating what goes on in said institution.<br /><br />Finally, I think that churches that choose not to ordain women are really missing out. My current priest is a woman, and she is the most talented and capable clergyperson I have ever had, bar none.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-61500751266659635642010-06-02T06:41:00.000-07:002010-06-02T08:00:31.527-07:00Change in the ALC?<b>Il Coro</b>'s recent comments got me thinking about the ALC (Apostolic Lutheran Church of America, a.k.a. "the Federation") again, and how it has changed since I was a kid. So I thought I'd start this thread to give my pet theory on why this is the case, and invite everyone to post their views as well. <br /><br />Back when I was growing up, it seemed like the ALC was a lot more like the OALC and other branches of Laestadianism. No TV, no sports, no make-up, no jewelry, no drinking, a lot of exclusiveness (thinking we're the only true Christianity), Finnish songs and preaching in the worship service, etc. Nowadays, however, you can find many ALC congregations that aren't much different than any other conservative evangelical denomination out there. People have TVs and even Internet connected computers. Women may dress conservatively, but wear makeup, jewelry, and clothing that are within the mainstream of the populace.<br /><br />The first lens through which I see the change is that of the immigrant experience. First generation Laestadian Finnish immigrants, many of whom arrived in the late 19th and early 20th century didn't speak English, were uneducated with few opportunities other than farming, mining, and other manual labor. They built the churches as a touchstone and enclave where they could remember the best of what they left "back home," preserving the traditions and even setting them in stone over and against all the strangeness and harshness of a new land.<br /><br />The second generation had a foot in both America and Finland. Fluent in both Finnish and English and educated in the American public school system, this generation felt the most conflict between the old ways and the new ways. While they were still sheltered from much of mainstream America through long hours helping out on the farm, raising siblings in large families, and not watching TV, English was their primary language and they were immersed in the mainstream culture through school and listening to the radio (often evangelical Christian radio). As this generation reached adulthood English started to become the primary language used in ALC churches, with Finnish songs and sermons becoming secondary.<br /><br />The third generation and beyond (this generation) is fully acculturated to America. For the most part they have not learned the Finnish language, and speak only English fluently (or maybe some other language they learned in school.) They do not have any special ties to Finnish culture or heritage except for what might be preserved through church, or some foods eaten primarily during the holidays. Many of them have achieved higher education, even advanced degrees in engineering and humanities. Many of this generation feel no particular allegiance to the ALC as part of their cultural heritage and leave for other types of churches or no church at all, in keeping with whatever their worldview may reflect as a mainstream American living in a pluralistic society. Those that stay may stay for the sense of community and extended family, or may stay because by this time the church itself also largely reflects the mainstream of conservative evangelicalism with which they agree. There is now little or no singing or preaching in Finnish, instead largely traditional hymns or in some cases "praise music" drawn directly from the conservative evangelical subculture of "Christian radio" and books.<br /><br />The other lens through which I see the change is that of factions within the ALC. At least since the 1960s and 1970s, there have been at least two and maybe three factions in the ALC. There is the "Laestadian faction," largely older but some younger members, often in smaller congregations in rural areas. These are most like the OALC and others in their implementation and view of the faith. There is also the "evangelical faction." Often larger congregations near larger cities, these ALCers would listen to James Dobson on the radio, attend Billy Graham crusades, and enjoy contemporary Christian music as well as "praise music." They seek to implement these types of changes within their own ALC congregation. A third and perhaps overlapping faction are those ALCers that support formal clergy training via the Inter-Lutheran (ALC) Theological Seminary. This non-accredited conservative seminary trained many pastors that went on to be ALC pastors, but the more "Laestadian" faction still eschewed formal theological training, so there is a landscape within the ALC of congregations where the leadership has some formal theological training, and others where the pastor has none at all. Still other split the difference, with a head pastor from the seminary but an assortment of assistant pastors without any formal education.<br /><br />It seems to me that the momentum within the denomination lies with the evangelical faction. As time passes the Finnish heritage becomes less and less relevant, giving the Laestadian faction major headwinds. Conversely, the wind is to the back of the evangelicals, as adherents are looking for a form of ALC that accommodates itself better to the larger American culture with which they increasingly identify -- at least the conservative evangelical subculture. It's still not a perfect fit, because to the extent that Apostolic Lutheranism is actually Lutheran there will be major theological differences with the evangelicals --especially on baptism and eschatology. On the other hand, both Laestadianism and evangelicalism share an anti-intellectualism, populism, and suspicion of institutions, as well as Biblical literalism. To most rank and file modern day ALCers, theological distinctions between Laestadianism and evangelicalism may matter a lot less than the general "tone" and "mood" of the worship experience, and preaching that emotes "the Word."<br /><br />My big unanswered question: Since the immigrant experience and the evangelical resurgence of the 60s and 70s potentially affects all branches of Laestadianism in the United States, why does it seem like some branches have changed more rapidly than others? Why does the ALC seem more accommodated to mainstream conservative evangelical culture than all of the rest?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-51119176503628426312010-01-13T10:03:00.002-08:002010-03-10T10:00:18.624-08:00Lastadian Sex Abuse Scandal"A Pedophilia scandal with more than ten victims is now being rolled up in a revivalist movement within the state church in Pietarsaari in Finnish Ostrobothnia. Years of covering-up keeps the total number of victims unknown."<br /><br />This headline made my stomach turn. As longtime readers of this blog may remember, several of us wrote to a Finnish elder about our concerns over sexual abuse in the OALC congregation. The parallels are chilling. Children are told to forgive the abuser, who repeatedly repents, and continues to abuse. <br /><br />I can't read Finnish or Swedish, and the online translations are clumsy. Bilingual readers, please help.<br /><br />How did this come to light? What sect is involved? What is the response from the sect? What is the response from their American counterparts?<br /><br />Go <a href="http://translate.googleusercontent.com/translate_c?hl=en&ie=UTF-8&sl=fi&tl=en&u=http://rilnews.org/article/pedofilskandal-i-jakobstad-i-finlandska-osterbotten&prev=_t&rurl=translate.google.com&twu=1&usg=ALkJrhj43PDjx5QKpADlEibctzjh5YJkFw">here</a> or <a href="http://translate.googleusercontent.com/translate_c?hl=en&ie=UTF-8&sl=fi&tl=en&u=http://www.hs.fi/kotimaa/artikkeli/Lestadiolaissaarnaajan%2Buhri%2BToivon%2Bvanhempieni%2Bn%25C3%25B6yrtyv%25C3%25A4n/1135252024402&prev=_t&rurl=translate.google.com&twu=1&usg=ALkJrhhC4bSPk8DZAVbEqP7rpt0ZeJ5LBg">here</a> for the story.<br /><br />UPDATE: I found an English version <a href="http://www.hs.fi/english/article/Incest+victim+of+Laestadian+preacher+tries+to+piece+his+childhood+together/1135252086364">here</a>.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com33tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-4733728528994417442009-08-09T10:03:00.002-07:002010-03-10T10:00:20.807-08:00A little Sunday ironyHere's a little irony for this Sunday:<br /><br /><a href="http://www.internationalnewsservices.com/articles/36-archive/10839-absolut-vodka-brand-director-looks-to-the-future-with-optimism">ABSOLUT Vodka Brand Director Looks To The Future With Optimism</a><br />Interview with Anna Laestadius, Director Global Brand, Absolut Vodka<br /><br />I don't know if she's related to <i>our</i> Laestadius or not, but after our recent conversation about Laestadius' descendants in Sweden from the <a href="http://extoots.blogspot.com/2009/07/laestadians-on-facebook.html">Facebook</a> thread, I couldn't resist posting this. Plus, it's great vodka. :-)<br /><blockquote><br />. . .promoting responsible drinking is a part of our heritage. We have a code of business ethics and conduct and a responsibility program. This focuses on promoting responsible drinking and responsible marketing. We are also active in the European Forum for Responsible Drinking (EFRD) and in Distilled Spirits Council (DISCUS) to drive important issues in this area on a global basis. We are sincere in our commitment to a responsible use and marketing of our products. . .<br /></blockquote><br />It just goes to show that no matter what your background, your heritage, your religion --no matter what bad things have happened to you in the past, today is a new day and you can choose a new direction in life.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-49711417247519963712009-07-22T05:43:00.002-07:002010-03-10T10:00:21.961-08:00Laestadians on FacebookSomeone recently brought these links of Laestadian groups on Facebook to my attention. I thought they were worth sharing:<br /><br /><a href="http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2211883691">Apostolic Lutherans</a> (ALC) Description: <i>Finally...a group on facebook for all us APs.</i> The site contains pictures of various "youth," the biggest bonfire I've seen, and the 2009 Convention.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2210782248">Laestadian Lutheran</a> (LLC) Description: <i>Welcome to all who believe! Note: this is not the official Laestadian Lutheran site. Please visit laestadianlutheran.org for the Laestadian Lutheran Church website.</i> Not much activity here, but there was a conversation on movies and temptation that reminded me of my own youth.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2602555691">Lars Levi Laestadius</a> Description: <i>This is a group for all people influenced by the christian revival movement of Lars Levi Laestadius. His abbreviated name is LLL. Laestadius was a botanist and a preacher that created a christian revival in northern Sweden and Finland in the mid to late 1800's. Today, those that follow his doctrine are known as Apostolics and/or Laestadians. You do not have to be a member of a Laestadian or Apostolic group to join this site. This site is open to everyone, as I do not believe in exclusion. Disclaimer: This site has not been endorsed by any specific church group and is not attempting to promote any specific church group.</i> The "Extoots" of Facebook. A couple of years ago the Admin of this group posted the link here, but it may have been <a href="http://extoots.blogspot.com/2007/06/conversion-conversation.html">lost in all the noise of a conversation on conversion.</a><br /><br />Interestingly, I did a search for "Laestadius" on Facebook and came up with all kinds of people who shared that last name. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that Laestadius had familial as well as spiritual descendants. I wonder how common a name Laestadius is back in Finland/Sweden?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-53997199643641195202009-05-16T23:05:00.002-07:002010-03-10T10:00:23.317-08:00I Left the Laestadian Revival Movement . . .<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.hs.fi/kuvat/iso_webkuva/1135244507158.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 330px; height: 210px;" src="http://www.hs.fi/kuvat/iso_webkuva/1135244507158.jpeg" border="0" alt="" /></a>I just found this <a href="http://www.hs.fi/english/article/I+left+the+Laestadian+revival+movement/1135244572867">essay</a> online and am very eager to share it with you. It is by a Finnish woman from Ostrobothnia who left the Laestadian faith ten years ago. I hope she finds comfort and healing. I love her candor and sense a kindred spirit.<br /><br />Here is an excerpt:<blockquote><br />It was emphasised at services that it is not about rules, but rather the fact that a Laestadian wants to operate in a certain way. I recall how I preferred to speak about desires, rather than rules. I was pained to read newspaper articles about things that Laestadians “were not allowed to do”. The question was about what I wanted to do or to choose!<br /> But whose desire was it really all about?<br /> I was not asked what I wanted, or what I felt was important. For instance, the negative stance on birth control was taken in the late 1960s at a meeting of preachers, where only men were present.<br /> <br />I knew already at the age of 13 that I did not want to be the mother of a big family. It was not until I was over the age of 20 that I said out loud that I cannot stand the idea of a big family. My friends answered that “you can’t know in advance what it will be like”.<br /> I was supposed to simply trust that God would give me exactly the right number of children, even if I did not use birth control.<br /> I knew that my mind could not handle such an experiment. I simply did not want to become pregnant reluctantly. My thoughts did not find resonance, because they resounded with the voice of reason, not that of faith.<br /> <br />Some felt that faith is that people are encouraged to push their reason aside in big matters. For me rejecting reason would have been an abandonment of my own psyche.<br /> I was not ready to bend at all in the birth control question, or to hide my opinions. The security of the Laestadian community began to turn into insecurity.<br /><br /></blockquote>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-17871632949204452762009-04-11T13:30:00.002-07:002010-03-10T10:00:23.600-08:00Laestadian Women Sharing WisdomA friend sent me this <a href="http://www.primeonadime.com/">link</a> to a site called Prime On A Dime, apparently written by Laestadian women in Battle Ground, Washington. It features cost-saving advice for homemakers. While you can (and frankly, you should) question the nutritive value of the recipes, it is entirely wholesome that these women are sharing their skills with "the world," not just those in a like-minded community.<br /><br />I might even try making my own (phosphate-free) laundry soap.<br /><br />In this economy, I think we will find modern twists on taking in wash or boarders (as my grandmother did to make it through hard times). After seeing advertising on the website above, I decided to try it here. Let me know what you think. I've written this blog for many years now, and it hadn't occurred to me to make it a source of income. But hey, times are tough!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-81305795480907442192008-06-21T17:23:00.002-07:002010-03-10T10:00:27.789-08:00They Will Know You by Your Love<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_gtJXkvhU4Tw/SF2vL-1c21I/AAAAAAAAABY/UPbN81NebJw/s1600-h/dolls.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_gtJXkvhU4Tw/SF2vL-1c21I/AAAAAAAAABY/UPbN81NebJw/s320/dolls.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5214516563945511762" /></a>It's always interesting to hear what outsiders think of Laestadians, especially when they know next to nothing about them. <br /><br />One day when I was in 6th grade in the little country school where my siblings and I were the only OALCers, I was surrounded in the school cafeteria by a group of angry girls. They accused me of saying that our classmate Michelle (a pretty but vapid girl whom I disliked) was going to hell because she was . . . <i>Catholic.</i><br /><br />I cried; I denied it. I had never said such a thing, and that much was true. Perhaps I felt bad, knowing that our religion taught that Catholics had "dead faith." But of more concern to my 12-year old soul was <i>how</i> did my classmates know? As far as I knew, nobody in town knew anything about our church. <br /><br />Perhaps they knew enough. It was in all we didn't say, and all we didn't do, in the years we lived there. One's character is legible in one's actions.<br /><br />I found an old thread on a <a href="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/archive/index.php/t-541634.html">mothering.com board </a>about the OALC in Battle Ground. A member had inquired about affordable places to live. (If you aren't familiar with <a href="http://www.mothering.com/">Mothering,</a> it is sold in health food stores, and features articles on midwives, breastfeeding, nutrition, and healthy family living in general.) Here is a sampling from the thread:<span class="fullpost"><br /><br />From "AmyMay":<br /><blockquote>There is a large apostolic lutheran element out here, lots of women with lots of children (5-6 is not uncommon), wearing dresses (don't get me wrong, they look pretty chic to me, but frighteningly similar to each other), long hair, no makeup...again, nothing wrong with that, but it is a little disturbing to me, and I wonder what they are taught and told to look a certain way to "fit in" and be obedient to church rules and expectations....<br /><br />In school, the apostolic children group together and can be very mean to outsiders coming into the area. It's taken my kids almost a year to feel like they are finally fitting in and making friends. There was lots of teasing because my son had long hair, and none of us go to church. Anything different and unusual to the local kids was up for discussion and teasing about. It was pretty hard on my sensitive, liberal-minded kids.</blockquote><br />From "FlyingSpaghettiMama":<br /><blockquote>BUNHEADS! Dude, so few people know about the sublime religion that is Old Apostolic Lutheran. I hate to generalize, except when I do, and boy, they tend to be an intolerant, inbred (no really, they have to marry inside the church, and all the church members came over about 100 years ago, and all the names are very reused - check it out) grouches who hate pants-wearin' women and other liberals of all stripes. They really, really hate gay people. And like to run them down with their MONSTER TRUCKS. They terrify me, honestly, and they appear to enjoy terrifying others as well.<br /><br />I would try to get your son outta there by high school age or have him transfer to a Vancouver school. Trust me. It only gets worse and more violent. It's rough going out there.<br /><br />But Battle Ground (and environs) is very beautiful, for sure. Except for the AL problem . . . <br /><br />. . . they're originally from Finland. It's too bad, you'd think a community that left in search of religious tolerance would be a lot more tolerant themselves. Like the mennonites!</blockquote><br />From "kxsiven":<br /><blockquote>Mostly from Norway side though. The movement has at least 8 different branches here and none of them is that scary what you are writing about the 'American version'(fundamentalism is pretty much unknown here anyway). If I have understood right, small group got in disagreenment with the main group 100 years ago and they left. Today the movement is very very tiny and probably will have a natural death in coming years.</blockquote><br />There is obvious stereotyping here. I suspect some accusations of "meanness" may be due (just as it was for me in 6th grade) to what is NOT being experienced. No invitations to playdates, birthdays and barbeques, no donations, no volunteering, etc. But OALCers being human, their doctrine may provide cover for some less-than-Christian behavior. I remember reasoning that it was okay, even preferable, to avoid Michelle. Only later did I realize how jealous I was (she was blonde! a cheerleader! popular!). My "beliefs" made it easier to dislike her than examine my own prejudice.<br /><br />Isn't that how all prejudice works?<br /><br /><i>(The photo was taken by our 7-year old at the farmers market last Thursday. She fell in love with and used her allowance to buy the hand-made doll in the blue sweater, at right. She named her Madeline. The skin colors of the dolls was a complete non-issue, and I found myself surprised at my surprise that she didn't choose the one that looked most like her. Kids like her are going to change the world.)</i></span>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-12263820660833151282008-02-03T12:59:00.002-08:002010-03-10T10:00:30.399-08:00Understanding Religious ViolenceIn light of the recent suicide bombings in Iraq last week, I found <a href="http://www.trinitywallstreet.org/welcome/?article&id=939">this essay on the roots of religious motivated violence</a> extremely relevant and timely. As part of the Trinity Round table on faith and violence convened at Trinity Church Wall Street (the church right across the street from where the World Trade Center used to stand), the author's provocative thesis is that religious terrorists are motivated by the same things that motivate ordinary religious folks, with a twist.<br /><br />Here are some excepts, with a link to the full article below:<br /><br /><a href="http://www.trinitywallstreet.org/welcome/?article&id=939">Understanding Religious Violence</a>, by James W. Jones<br /><br /><blockquote><br />What makes [religious violence] happen is the conjunction of nearly universal spiritual motivations – the desire for union with God, the desire for purification and transformation, the need for religious community, the need for meaning and purpose--with a certain psychological structure, the need to dichotomize the world into the all-good and the all-evil. Also, there is a specific theology that you find in the writings of religiously motivated terrorists across the spectrum, and it is the view of God as wrathful and punitive and demanding of blood sacrifice. It's the conjunction of those powerful spiritual motivations with that psychological constellation that is a precursor to religiously motivated terrorism.<br /><br />What's unique to fanatical religions is not the desire for union with God, or the desire for spiritual transformation; it's the linkage of that desire for spiritual union and purification with violence, especially the violence of sacrificial killing, blood sacrifice, or apocalyptic purification. It’s the linkage of these virtually universal and powerful desires with the themes of blood sacrifice and purification through violence, that turns spiritual longing into terrorist action.<br /></blockquote><span class="fullpost"><br /><br />Laestadianism shares a number of the features Jones writes about. Laestadians certainly divide the world into good and evil. Why aren't there Laestadian terrorists? Maybe because Laestadianism doesn't play up God's desire for blood as much as other fundamentalist forms of Christianity do. Or maybe it's because Laestadianism seems to lack an apocalyptic emphasis. Certainly I have heard individual Laestadians vent righteous indignation / violent talk against groups they perceived to be especially evil, such as abortionists and homosexuals. Yet I've never heard violence advocated from the pulpit or officially wished for in any way.<br /><br />-ttg</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-286317384282223822008-01-16T14:49:00.002-08:002010-03-10T10:00:34.924-08:00The Moral Instinct<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2008/01/08/magazine/13pscyh600.1.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2008/01/08/magazine/13pscyh600.1.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br />There is a thought-provoking <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/13/magazine/13Psychology-t.html?ex=1357966800&en=34606567689dd23a&ei=5124&partner=permalink&exprod=permalink">essay about morality by Stephen Pinker, the Harvard professor of psychology,</a> in last Sunday's New York Times Magazine.<br /><br />Here is an excerpt:<blockquote><br />People everywhere, at least in some circumstances and with certain other folks in mind, think it’s bad to harm others and good to help them. They have a sense of fairness: that one should reciprocate favors, reward benefactors and punish cheaters. They value loyalty to a group, sharing and solidarity among its members and conformity to its norms. They believe that it is right to defer to legitimate authorities and to respect people with high status. And they exalt purity, cleanliness and sanctity while loathing defilement, contamination and carnality.</blockquote><br />My reaction was to ponder how some Laestadians seem to value "loyalty to a group and conformity to norms" above fairness, purity and sanctity. Could this be a minority group's insurance against assimilation?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-13383313839697187952007-04-05T18:19:00.002-07:002010-03-10T10:00:37.179-08:00Who's That in a Huivi? Part B<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_DAW_TN-7p4Q/RhWxzb0WdqI/AAAAAAAAABQ/JT5xmaYiLcE/s1600-h/fayeturney.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_DAW_TN-7p4Q/RhWxzb0WdqI/AAAAAAAAABQ/JT5xmaYiLcE/s200/fayeturney.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5050138054364657314" /></a>Another Laestadianesque photo for your contemplation (she's the spitting image of my niece!). One can assume that the cigarette was voluntary, but not much else. <br /><br />Thankfully, Faye Turney and her fellow sailors are home safe. Now the spinmeisters are eagerly disagreeing as to how and why, leaving this observer convinced that there is much we won't be learning about for decades, if ever. <br /><br />But on the subject of the scarf: "Take it or leave it, wear it or not, it's homely when it's tied under the chin," says the blogger (a rightwingy catlover) over at <a href="http://sisu.typepad.com/">sisu.typepad.com</a>. (With a blogname like that, I was surprised to find no references to Laestadian headgear).<br /><br />Hmmm. I recollect seeing a few OALC women who tied their scarves "behind." Perhaps that is what you call a Laestadian feminist. Heh.<br /><br />As I see it, a woman (or a man) may reasonably be expected to alter his/her attire (e.g., head covering/no head covering, foot covering/no foot covering) in a place of worship. Pelosi was at a mosque, so it isn't as if she was kowtowing to political neantherdals, although this was undoubtedly the message some wished to convey with that image.<br /><br />Bottom line: one should do in Rome what wise Romans do, not dumb Romans. Funny how you never hear this rule applied to <a href="http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/12/19/national/main2282940.shtml">sexual mores.</a><br /><br />That said, I PERSONALLY would wear a scarf in a mosque or cathedral, but not in a Laestadian church. Is that hypocritical? I don't think so. I'm not a foreigner, but an "insider" whose response carries a different message. <br /><br />What do you think?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com9