tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80887172024-03-14T11:49:33.178-07:00LEARNING TO LIVE FREELife After LaestadianismUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger625125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-1862667412030506672023-10-18T11:21:00.003-07:002023-10-18T11:21:50.439-07:00Ricky & Austin Johnson on Leaving Laestadianism<iframe frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://youtube.com/embed/P3iMqRnRpOU?si=ZvWpxHRylTovRQMH" width="480"></iframe>
<div><br /></div><div><div>When <a href="http://www.instagram.com/ricky.c.johnson" target="_blank">Ricky Johnson</a>'s son Austin stopped attending church (the OALC in the UP), it presented an opportunity for Ricky to address his own doubts about the faith. He sought treatment for his depression, found the courage to question his own beliefs, and to be authentic with himself, his family, and his friends. </div><div><br /></div><div>He and Austin, who is now a biology professor, talk about their experiences on several videos. Ricky said the interviews were intended to support others who feel marginalized by high control religion. </div></div><div><div><br /></div><div>"It hurts to feel othered by family and friends within high control religions. Those who have left are worthy of unconditional love and support.” </div><div><br /></div><div>While I have different perspectives on animism and rationalism (and the origins of the religion we once shared), I find it encouraging that Ricky and Austin are navigating their inquiries together, and am grateful that they are willing to share their experiences online. </div><div><br /></div><div>May others be inspired by their curiosity and compassion. <br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><div><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3iMqRnRpOU&t=0s" target="_blank">What is Laestadian</a><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3iMqRnRpOU&t=0s">ism? How This Family Journeyed Away from Religion</a></div><div><a href="https://youtu.be/EbvFFxB4i1M?si=EMHFaTyJsg-lzEIH" target="_blank">Fundamentalist Indoctrination Stifles Critical Thinking and Causes Harm - Ricky + Austin Johnson</a></div><div><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jaNQZJewQ9w&t=0s" target="_blank">Austin Johnson: Environmentalism, Climate Denial & Religion</a></div><div><div><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkH4HUhJHS4&t=0s" target="_blank">Naturalistic Accounts of Morality: Austin Johnson & Jonathan MS Pearce in Discussion</a></div></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><div><br /></div></div><div><div><br /><br /></div></div></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-75881330749102791332023-10-06T09:51:00.002-07:002023-10-06T09:51:23.359-07:00Growing Up Laestadian<p>Karen Tolkkinen’s series <a href="https://ktolkkinen.medium.com/growing-up-laestadian-part-1-b740f3b61a91" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">“Growing Up Laestadian”</a> (on Medium) is recommended reading for anyone curious about the religion and its effects (particularly the exclusivity practices) on children. It is also a rare and welcome example of a writer who has created, in spite of Laestadian conditioning in feminine self-erasure and secrecy, a space to share her own perspectives. Karen’s quiet courage, humility, and hope suffuse the writing. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh63MyoogVjaDbvgGtbhn68ui5X6byPvRVCJi6PSYrJhl5OZnx-0vtQR_tw2lG9a_BgsxLTpREkBmG-TKGyPED-GA7avpsFYYCZGtj5BLdhbY97LEG3CnQ9oe6Jalhop8SisnrmpgBEYCpj3KiiwYtrsEaRozACC8tm5USIqYsr2vygnq5UjPTq/s930/IMG_5912.jpeg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="822" data-original-width="930" height="283" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh63MyoogVjaDbvgGtbhn68ui5X6byPvRVCJi6PSYrJhl5OZnx-0vtQR_tw2lG9a_BgsxLTpREkBmG-TKGyPED-GA7avpsFYYCZGtj5BLdhbY97LEG3CnQ9oe6Jalhop8SisnrmpgBEYCpj3KiiwYtrsEaRozACC8tm5USIqYsr2vygnq5UjPTq/s320/IMG_5912.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p><p>Born into the Minneapolis Laestadian Lutheran Church in 1972, Karen remained a member for 30 years before leaving. She began writing about her childhood, she says, “as a way to open the door to this closed group, to document its practices, and to educate parents about the secret ways their children might be suffering.”</p><p style="text-align: left;"><span face="source-serif-pro, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(36, 36, 36); color: #242424; font-size: x-small; letter-spacing: -0.054px;"><i>We call ourselves Christians, or believers. We call people outside our church un-Christians, or unbelievers or uns for short, as in, “She’s an un.” We call the people who split away from our church in 1973 heretics, or tics, for short. “They go to the tic church.”</i></span></p><p>Karen’s formative experiences are simply and effectively evoked. While she avoids historical or political analysis (the focus is on her personal experience), it is not difficult to extrapolate the patriarchal ideology and control dynamics to other arenas in American life, including our continuing struggle for reproductive rights.</p><p>The series has been resonating with members of the Extoots support group on Facebook.</p><p><i><span style="font-size: x-small;">“I really enjoy reading what you’re writing; you have a way of getting the words to paper that explain perfectly what’s sometimes difficult to explain when I’m asked about specific things regarding my upbringing . . .”</span></i></p><p><i><span style="font-size: x-small;">“You write so well! Keep it up!”</span></i></p><p>There are 18 posts in the series so far, with more to follow. </p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-68843781685396589842022-02-05T16:40:00.003-08:002022-02-05T16:40:44.810-08:00Links Round-up
<p></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; background-color: white; font-family: Poppins; font-size: 16px; text-align: center; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; background-color: white; font-family: Poppins; font-size: 16px; text-align: center; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhy5MxzZdmFdp0LHrEZ5ss83EjQcFdNmXr4KbIzsWrvRrAhjMXGcAP_d6b7jN_lFqrkBuzH4s7GPG67slxhpBkEiCk64aNNO7qLDzZMPeuiU-WvHC-MHGJmKdw3TA0RvW8BvWFs-J3IR0moGpywWibbk09acCoUb54aRGZ98OOzagmzD_ll2A=s1388" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1388" data-original-width="1259" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhy5MxzZdmFdp0LHrEZ5ss83EjQcFdNmXr4KbIzsWrvRrAhjMXGcAP_d6b7jN_lFqrkBuzH4s7GPG67slxhpBkEiCk64aNNO7qLDzZMPeuiU-WvHC-MHGJmKdw3TA0RvW8BvWFs-J3IR0moGpywWibbk09acCoUb54aRGZ98OOzagmzD_ll2A=s320" width="290" /></a></span></div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; background-color: white; font-family: Poppins; font-size: 16px; text-align: center; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br />Greetings, readers, hope you are staying well. What a weird time to be alive, eh? </span><p></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; background-color: white; font-family: Poppins; font-size: 16px; text-align: center; white-space: pre-wrap;">When I was hit with Omicron over Christmas, it helped me let go of expectations around tradition and justify a long, slow recovery. I took a lot of baths, watched movies, read books, learned to crochet and bake macarons, etc. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; background-color: white; font-family: Poppins; font-size: 16px; text-align: center; white-space: pre-wrap;">This formed some habits that are hard to break. I am still moving like molasses in January. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; background-color: white; font-family: Poppins; font-size: 16px; text-align: center; white-space: pre-wrap;">An email from a reader reminded me of just how badly I had neglected this blog. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; background-color: white; font-family: Poppins; font-size: 16px; text-align: center; white-space: pre-wrap;">In penance, I offer you a post with juicy links, and a warning: if you are likewise susceptible to sloth, click away now!</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; background-color: white; font-family: Poppins; font-size: 16px; text-align: center; white-space: pre-wrap;">But say hi in the comments first. Isolation is awful.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Poppins; font-size: 16px; text-align: center; white-space: pre-wrap;">Free</span></p><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Poppins; font-size: medium;"><span style="background-color: white; white-space: pre-wrap;">TV/FILM</span></span></h2><h3 style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x87a2tp" target="_blank">Swedish Game Show Takes On Religion</a></h3><p></p><p style="text-align: left;">Ällt for Sverige, the popular TV show in which 10 Americans vie for a family reunion (while learning history lessons and enjoying the beauty of a Swedish summer) is back in production post-Covid.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Among the contestants this season is a gay ex-Mormon, a former evangelical youth minister, and a Lutheran PK. They visit Sweden's "Bible Belt" -- Småland, not Norrbotten, to my surprise. (Perhaps there are two Bible Belts in Sweden, one evangelical and one Laestadian? Filming the latter could be a challenge.)</p><h3 style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/video/detail/B082FSVRKT/ref=atv_dp_share_cu_r" target="_blank">All the Sins</a></h3><div><p style="text-align: left;"><span class="s1">This award-winning crime show directed by Mika Ronkainen features a fictional Laestadian village and explores themes that will resonate with anyone familiar with the faith. One reviewer said: "Unlike other popular Finnish television series such as Bordertown (Sorjonen) and Deadwind (Karppi), All the Sins bears a substantial social dimension and tackles many important themes such as religious fanaticism, family relationships and their effect on the individual, homosexuality, infidelity, and many more. Merja Aakko and Mika Ronkainen both did a tremendous job as far as the screenplay is concerned while Ronkainen is also the director and the man responsible for the spectacular optics of the show. This is a must-see for all those who crave something more than a simple whodunit or a fast-paced, action-packed story that the viewer forgets a few days after watching. It is one of the most unique Nordic television productions of the last few years and it is worthy of our full commitment."</span></p><p style="text-align: left;">The NYT review: "As portrayed in the series, the sect's strictness combined with its belief in the absolute power of forgiveness make it a good match for a story involving ritualistic murders and church-enforced cover-ups</p></div><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: medium;">NEWS</span></h2><div style="text-align: left;"><h3 style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://onlysky.media/hemant-mehta/norway-will-no-longer-fund-the-jehovahs-witnesses/#" target="_blank">Norway Defunds Jehovahs' Witnesses<br /></a><a href="https://yle.fi/news/3-12294962" target="_blank">Finnish Group Calls for Probe of Religions<br /></a><a href="https://www.yahoo.com/news/founder-celebrity-megachurch-hillsong-steps-041315383.html?guccounter=1" target="_blank">Australia Charges Preacher for Failure to Report Dad</a></h3><h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: medium;">RESOURCES</span></h2></div><div><h3 style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://www.safeportland.org" target="_blank">Spiritual Abuse Forum in Portland</a></h3></div><h3><span style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 238); color: #0000ee; text-decoration: underline;">Ex-Laestadian Humor on Insta</span></h3>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-32261980440683637972021-01-14T16:25:00.008-08:002021-01-15T20:05:41.507-08:00Poem: En Pointe by Karen Tolkkinen<br /><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />Published by permission from the poet, Karen Tolkkinen, a former member of the Laestadian Lutheran Church, who lives and writes in Minnesota. </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/d7/Grace_in_winter%2C_contemporary_ballet.jpg/600px-Grace_in_winter%2C_contemporary_ballet.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="600" height="320" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/d7/Grace_in_winter%2C_contemporary_ballet.jpg/600px-Grace_in_winter%2C_contemporary_ballet.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="2.0 / 2005-05-18 12:39 |Author=[http://wwwhttp://www.flickr.com/photos/83185333@N00 jeff" target="_blank">Photo: Grace in Winter 2, by Jeff, Creative Commons 2.0</a></td></tr></tbody></table><b><br /></b></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>En Pointe</b></span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-small;">Karen Tolkkinen</span></p><p><br /></p><p>Who am I?</p><p>Who am I?</p><p>Who am I?</p><p><br /></p><p>What do I want?</p><p>What do I want?</p><p>What do I want?</p><p><br /></p><p>Once upon a time, I wanted to dance</p><p><i>en pointe, en chaine, entendu.</i></p><p>But they said dancing was sin.</p><p>And I hated myself for wanting it.</p><p><br /></p><p>Once upon a time, I wanted to act in</p><p>plays and movies.</p><p>But they said no, acting is sin.</p><p>Plays are sin. Movies are sin.</p><p>And I found myself most wretched for wanting it.</p><p><br /></p><p>I might have enjoyed watching a Twins game</p><p>But that was sin.</p><p><br /></p><p>I might have enjoyed your company</p><p>But I wasn't allowed friends outside church.</p><p><br /></p><p>I might have enjoyed debate, or speech, or National Honor Society</p><p>But they would draw me away from church friends.</p><p><br /></p><p>So when I moped around the house</p><p>Bored</p><p>My mom would grow impatient.</p><p>Read a book, she'd say.</p><p><br /></p><p>So I would.</p><p>Books about ballet. </p><p>And actors.</p><p>And normal kids befriending other normal kids.</p><p>And no-one to tell them they were wrong.</p></blockquote><p></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-69971465023766268342019-11-29T08:42:00.003-08:002019-12-10T13:06:32.070-08:00Notable Extoots: Johanna Hurtig<a data-target="#lightbox-modal" data-toggle="modal" href="https://translate.googleusercontent.com/translate_c?depth=2&nv=1&rurl=translate.google.com&sl=auto&sp=nmt4&tl=en&u=https://www.kotimaa24.fi/artikkeli/hyvaksikayttoa-lestadiolaisuudessa-tutkinut-johanna-hurtig-vihittiin-papiksi-oli-surullista-katso/&xid=17259,15700022,15700043,15700186,15700191,15700256,15700259,15700262,15700265,15700271,15700283&usg=ALkJrhiJQp6NfUJX6JKKV0j235Ds00Ygog#" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #0199dc; font-family: "source sans pro", arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-decoration-line: none;"><img alt="Johanna Hurtig" id="article-image" src="https://www.kotimaa24.fi/wp-content/plugins/Every/image.php?uuid=33e58d38-2b54-4a36-86d3-867e4a2addc9&type=preview&function=cover&width=900" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; float: none; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-right: 10px; max-width: 100%; vertical-align: middle; width: auto;" title="" /></a><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4b413b; font-family: "source sans pro" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 15px;"></span><br />
<div class="content" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(75, 65, 59); color: #4b413b; font-family: "Source Sans Pro", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">
<div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 28px;">
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><a href="https://www.kotimaa24.fi/artikkeli/hyvaksikayttoa-lestadiolaisuudessa-tutkinut-johanna-hurtig-vihittiin-papiksi-oli-surullista-katso/" target="_blank">Johanna Hurtig, an investigator of Laestadian abuse, is ordained as a priest - "It was sad to see the truth disappeared"</a></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: small;">(Google Translation to English)</span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">11/29/2018 1:40 PM - Meri Toivanen | Homeland</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Johanna Hurtig</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Last Sunday the inauguration of the priesthood and diaconia took place at Tampere Cathedral. Among the initiates was the familiar name of many who followed ecclesiastical and religious debate.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Dr. Johanna Hurtig, Doctor of Social Sciences, is known for her research in raising early childhood sexual abuse in the Laestadianism..</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Hurtig received a priestly ordination as a temporary expert in social ethics and human rights at the Church Council. Her employment will last until the end of 2020.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">The Church Board is located in Helsinki, but Hurtig participated in the inauguration in Tampere based on his home town of Hollola. The area will move to the Diocese of Mikkeli early next year. However, as Hurtig does not hold a parish office, she remains a priest in Tampere.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">- The ordination was significant, Hurtig says a few days after the inauguration by telephone from her home in Kärkölä.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">- Particularly at the fair was how people queued up for us when we shared a communion with another ordained priest in the hallway of the cathedral.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">But how did this come about?</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Johanna Hurtig says.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Master of Social Ethics in Moral Activity of Conservative Lestadian Adults</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Some years ago, Hurtig began to feel more and more called to be called. She noticed that the priesthood seemed an interesting idea.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Could I go on a new one at this point? Hurtig asked herself. Born in 1960, she felt she had gained a lot in the academic world. Most recently, Hurtig worked as an Assistant Professor of Social Work at the University of Lapland. In 2014, she received the State Information Disclosure Award for her research on abuse.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">On the other hand, the fire for academic work had become fragile. The university world started to feel like a stranger.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">In 2017, Hurtig applied for a postgraduate program at the University of Helsinki, based on her previous studies. The studies have been rated for two years, but Hurtig completed them in one and a half years. After graduation, she applied for a year's job and during that time returned to her former job at the university.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Hurtig's Master of Social Ethics was based on material she had collected during her earlier research. In Graduate, she looked at the moral authority of adults in the Conservative Lestadian revival movement and the importance of the religious community to it.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Hurtig stated in her thesis that the Conservative-Laestadian movement as a community does not seem to recognize the ethical potential of its membership. Unused or underutilized individuals' moral capital cannot grow or develop.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">The encounter of dishonesty led to the priesthood</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Johanna Hurtig says she has repeatedly asked herself why? Why did she still want to be a priest at this age and at this stage in his life?</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">There are many reasons, Hurtig says.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">- But somehow they connect with my research years 2009-2013.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">For Hurtig, investigating sexual abuse in her own revival movement was not just an academic process. It affected her spiritually. She says she understands that something she encountered in those years deeply upset her.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">According to Hurtig, it was not so much about people doing bad things to each other, nor about how ugly things can be.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">- It wasn't new. I wasn't young then.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Hurtig says she was shocked by the dishonesty she faced during her research years.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">- Those who believe in themselves did not recognize dishonesty in themselves, in one another or in the community, even though the signs were clear and easily visible.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">People are mistaken, weak, and make mistakes, Hurtig says.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">- Then the conscience tells you that that was not true, that act was wrong. There must be responsibility, repentance. It was somehow terribly sad to watch for so long that truth, light, compassion, and honesty disappeared, and hid somewhere in the community I was researching.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Hurtig disassociates herself from the Conservative Lestadism and approaches "Church Faith"</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">After the investigation, the sadness deepened. According to Hurtig, it aroused a kind of longing, the expectation of counterattack.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">- I missed goodness, love and honesty. I felt that nothing else was strong enough to counteract the darkness I encountered except God.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Hurtig says she has come closer to "believing in the church." She attended the fair and became a steward in her home church. She had already exited the Conservative Laestadian movement.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">- I value knowledge and research, but now I am delighted to be able to serve God as a priest, to share His miracles, love, and goodness. Only He has the power to turn evil into good and darkness into light.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">"The movement has begun to understand that criticism cannot be completely superseded"</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Johanna Hurtig calls Conservative Laestadianism a breeding ground. She now sees her relationship with the movement as straightforward. In recent years, she has repeatedly attended a summer event for the Conservative Laestadians in the Summer Clubs.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">- I wouldn't be here without that background. Spiritually, I have moved to the common church. I'm not in the sect, but there are a lot of people I love there.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Other women consecrated to the priesthood from a conservative Laestadian background are close friends with Hurtig.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">In recent years, Hurtig has followed the development of the Conservative Laestadian movement as a whole. She notes that the crises of the movement have been a big issue for many for whom the movement is a refuge.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Within a short period of time, a number of issues that were difficult for the revival movement were addressed in public: the role of women and their relationship to pregnancy prevention, women's priesthood, abuse scandals.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Johanna Hurtig says she can't say how far the business has gone or whether everything is behind her.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">- But it seems like something has happened. The revival movement has begun to realize that the criticism of those who left it cannot be completely ignored.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Photo: Diocese of Tampere / Jussi Valkeajoki</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<style type="text/css">
p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 11.0px Helvetica; -webkit-text-stroke: #000000}
p.p2 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 11.0px Helvetica; -webkit-text-stroke: #000000; min-height: 13.0px}
span.s1 {font-kerning: none}
</style> <br />
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Read also archived stories:</span></div>
</div>
<div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 28px;">
<span class="notranslate" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><a href="https://translate.googleusercontent.com/translate_c?depth=2&nv=1&rurl=translate.google.com&sl=auto&sp=nmt4&tl=en&u=https://www.kotimaa24.fi/artikkeli/maijan-tarina-antaa-hyvaksikayton-uhrille-aanen/&xid=17259,15700022,15700043,15700186,15700191,15700256,15700259,15700262,15700265,15700271,15700283&usg=ALkJrhgmOlFzjj4OVzkAEgNPbMkumnP75g" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #0187c3; font-weight: 700; outline: 0px; text-decoration: none;">"The Story of Maija" gives voice to victim of abuse</a>(2012)</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 28px;">
<span class="notranslate" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><a href="https://translate.googleusercontent.com/translate_c?depth=2&nv=1&rurl=translate.google.com&sl=auto&sp=nmt4&tl=en&u=https://www.kotimaa24.fi/artikkeli/kaleva-hurtig-jattaa-vanhoillislestadiolaisen-liikkeen/&xid=17259,15700022,15700043,15700186,15700191,15700256,15700259,15700262,15700265,15700271,15700283&usg=ALkJrhim0CRuQL-eXrNx60QieLt66R8d2g" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #0199dc; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none;">Kaleva: Hurtig Leaves the Conservative Lestadi Movement</a> (2012)</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 28px;">
<span class="notranslate" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><a href="https://translate.googleusercontent.com/translate_c?depth=2&nv=1&rurl=translate.google.com&sl=auto&sp=nmt4&tl=en&u=https://www.kotimaa24.fi/artikkeli/tutkija-lestadiolaisessa-syntikasityksessa-omenavarkaus-rinnastuu-hyvaksikayttoon/&xid=17259,15700022,15700043,15700186,15700191,15700256,15700259,15700262,15700265,15700271,15700283&usg=ALkJrhgRzEV59iXjJc0eHe8jTfDC0vrAWA" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #0199dc; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none;">Scientist: Apple theft in Lestadian syndrome equates to exploitation</a> (2013)</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 28px;">
<span class="notranslate" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><a href="https://translate.googleusercontent.com/translate_c?depth=2&nv=1&rurl=translate.google.com&sl=auto&sp=nmt4&tl=en&u=https://www.kotimaa24.fi/artikkeli/nain-srkn-paasihteeri-kommentoi-hurtigin-tutkimusta/&xid=17259,15700022,15700043,15700186,15700191,15700256,15700259,15700262,15700265,15700271,15700283&usg=ALkJrhjo3TkPPxrHCHS8FQi4rCXsfenTdQ" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #0199dc; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none;">This is how SRK Secretary General comments on Hurtig's research</a> (2013)</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 28px;">
<span class="notranslate" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><a href="https://translate.googleusercontent.com/translate_c?depth=2&nv=1&rurl=translate.google.com&sl=auto&sp=nmt4&tl=en&u=https://www.kotimaa24.fi/artikkeli/vasta-hurtigin-tutkimus-avasi-piispojen-silmat-2/&xid=17259,15700022,15700043,15700186,15700191,15700256,15700259,15700262,15700265,15700271,15700283&usg=ALkJrhiSPg1T2StW_E2jKZyNoaq-qRPfcg" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #0199dc; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none;">Only Hurtig Study Opened Bishops' Eyes</a> (2013)</span></div>
</div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-75980284071544456202019-08-10T11:13:00.000-07:002019-12-10T13:08:21.213-08:00Notable Extoots: Mari Boine (Get Your Tickets Now!)<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/kprl0CECykA" width="560"></iframe></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span></span> <style type="text/css">
p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; line-height: 14.0px; font: 12.0px Arial; color: #232323; -webkit-text-stroke: #232323}
p.p2 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; line-height: 12.0px; font: 12.0px Arial; color: #232323; -webkit-text-stroke: #232323; min-height: 14.0px}
p.p3 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; line-height: 12.0px; font: 12.0px Arial; color: #232323; -webkit-text-stroke: #232323}
p.p4 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; line-height: 15.0px; font: 12.0px Arial; color: #385898; -webkit-text-stroke: #385898}
p.p5 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; line-height: 15.0px; font: 12.0px Arial; color: #1b1e21; -webkit-text-stroke: #1b1e21}
span.s1 {font-kerning: none}
span.s2 {font-kerning: none; color: #000000; -webkit-text-stroke: 0px #000000}
span.s3 {text-decoration: underline ; font-kerning: none; color: #042eee; -webkit-text-stroke: 0px #042eee}
span.s4 {font-kerning: none; color: #1b1e21; background-color: #f2f3f5; -webkit-text-stroke: 0px #1b1e21}
span.s5 {font-kerning: none; color: #1b1e21; -webkit-text-stroke: 0px #1b1e21}
span.s6 {text-decoration: underline ; font-kerning: none; color: #385898; -webkit-text-stroke: 0px #385898}
span.s7 {font-kerning: none; background-color: #f2f3f5}
</style> <br />
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">"Free, you still there?" </span><br />
<span class="s1"><br />
Yup, still here! </span><br />
<span class="s1"><br />
</span> <span class="s1">Just busy with life. While I always have time for email chats (and meeting up in person), when it comes to composing blog posts, other priorities keep winning.</span><span class="s2"> But today, I am ignoring my Saturday chores to tell you, you must get tickets to Mari Boine.</span>YES. That Mari Boine.<br />
<br />
She is coming in October, on a rare tour of North America and her first of the West Coast. Mari was my first introduction to joik, the traditional Sámi music forbidden by Christian missionaries. Raised by Laestadian parents in Karasjok, she defied the ban on music to use her gifts, and has been a courage-giver, wayfinder, and mentor for several decades and to hundreds of musicians and other artists. Her latest album, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCbrFXzusWA"><span class="s3">See the Woman</span></a>, is in English.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1">The tour:</span><br />
<br />
10/2/2019 - Scandinavia Haus / NYC</div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s4">Tickets: <span class="s6"><a href="https://www.eventbrite.com/e/mari-boine-tickets-63887535338?fbclid=IwAR3mdOx_-HFF5b4tzzh-XCPOrxfUGrd8Vj_T26YTxXKqHzoUYhpJWzX5mvs">https://www.eventbrite.com/e/mari-boine-tickets-63887535338</a></span></span><span class="s5"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="s4"><br />
</span></div>
<div class="p5">
<span class="s7">10/3/2019 - The Cedar / Minneapolis</span><span class="s1"><br />
</span><span class="s7">TBA</span><span class="s1"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="s7"><br />
</span></div>
<div class="p5">
<span class="s7">10/5/2019 - Chan Centre / Vancouver</span><span class="s1"><br />
</span><span class="s7">Tickets: <span class="s6"><a href="https://tickets.ubc.ca/online/mapSelect.asp?BOset%3A%3AWSmap%3A%3Aseatmap%3A%3Aperformance_ids=0C49B8D2-D81A-45B4-BBB3-8532AA560A29&_ga=2.107653702.57452256.1563557955-154060884.1563557955&fbclid=IwAR2e6vuLQYRM_iKh7ixOgSUNH7EZqs5zVKzsvoGHpfNwb-Tq4BOSrkjDS0Q">https://tickets.ubc.ca/online/mapSelect.asp...</a></span></span><span class="s1"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="s7"><br />
</span></div>
<div class="p5">
<span class="s7">10/82019 - Nordic Museum / Seattle</span><span class="s1"><br />
</span><span class="s7">TBA</span><span class="s1"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="s7"><br />
</span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s4">10/10/2019 - Old Church / Portland</span><span class="s5"><br />
</span><span class="s4">Tickets: <span class="s6"><a href="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.eventbrite.com%2Fe%2Fmari-boine-of-norway-tickets-61833789529%3Ffbclid%3DIwAR0waRTqedOXkBbV8jiRlHU74UtTuxBP7E6FjHRGtxVX6fmeB8lUiDF9968&h=AT16PVNdOpKelFcfY_VKHX25vRm-Enc1ok4X90cUCUv4m8i8uGPg8klW9uQSeRUglWw2tbWLq5fcChPHQn3hmeWk3MO65PfLBkaTXAsq4x9YFPoD3qIGo2YZkqBn1NokVpFTvNE">https://www.eventbrite.com/.../mari-boine-of-norway...</a></span></span><span class="s5"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="s4"><br />
</span></div>
<div class="p5">
<span class="s7">10/15/2019 - Lensic - Santa Fe</span><span class="s1"><br />
</span><span class="s7">Tickets: <span class="s6"><a href="https://tickets.ticketssantafe.org/6114?fbclid=IwAR2e2ujbgdpPkFeeZz6hemc7Sx7ZlMWV2fViuKV1yHXM2jgQAmXukL1YbGI">https://tickets.ticketssantafe.org/6114</a></span></span><span class="s1"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="s7"><br />
</span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s4">10/172019 - Red Rocks - Denver </span><br />
<span class="s4"><span class="s6">Tickets: <a href="https://www.axs.com/events/370532/wardruna-tickets?q=Freaky&fbclid=IwAR2SYMNKaEVgBwpMB5l7rPUXDzS9P-0GlxjXUn4rv1yrkmFSIMwa0jLaM1Q">https://www.axs.com/events/370532/wardruna-tickets?q=Freaky</a></span></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<br />
I will be attending in Seattle and Portland, and would love to meet up. Who knows, maybe Mari could be persuaded to say hello to some fellow extoots?<br />
<br />
Here's a link to NRK's <a href="https://www.nrk.no/video/PS*mdfp13001213" target="_blank">documentary</a>. If you don't understand Norwegian, take the time to add Google Translate extension to your Chrome browser, and when you open the video, click on the "translate" icon in your toolbar. Tell it to "translate this page" and you will get English subtitles (imperfect but intelligible).<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ePsvST4XZEQ/XU9ucU8CZ2I/AAAAAAAAKSc/Zjp3e4wT0Qk5OYNOpQxh-NsRNJ8E_HKrgCLcBGAs/s1600/Screenshot%2B2019-08-10%2B18.24.11.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1212" data-original-width="1600" height="241" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ePsvST4XZEQ/XU9ucU8CZ2I/AAAAAAAAKSc/Zjp3e4wT0Qk5OYNOpQxh-NsRNJ8E_HKrgCLcBGAs/s320/Screenshot%2B2019-08-10%2B18.24.11.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/XbkCQv_DZb4?start=32" width="560"></iframe><br />
<br />
<iframe allow="autoplay; fullscreen" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="480" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/261108073" width="640"></iframe><br />
<a href="https://vimeo.com/261108073">AFTENLANDET (the Evening Land) by Erik Poppe. (1994) Music by Jan Garbarek and Mari Boine.</a> from <a href="https://vimeo.com/erikpoppe">Erik Poppe</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.<br />
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-28772023094249689252019-03-28T18:02:00.002-07:002019-03-28T20:44:45.068-07:00Notable Extoots: Sara Ranta-Rönnlund<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-WorAECuIHt4/XJ0HPUN9ORI/AAAAAAAAJ80/IPUfCH2OBG8q5X5aMT3k0R4Hx-sZIHjsQCLcBGAs/s1600/sara-ranta-ro%25CC%2588nnlund.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="412" height="400" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-WorAECuIHt4/XJ0HPUN9ORI/AAAAAAAAJ80/IPUfCH2OBG8q5X5aMT3k0R4Hx-sZIHjsQCLcBGAs/s400/sara-ranta-ro%25CC%2588nnlund.jpeg" width="328" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="text-align: start;">Sara Ranta-Rönnlund </span>©Norrbottens-Kuriren. Fotograf okänd.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I'm fairly certain that when the first crop of Laestadian babies reached marrying age, they looked around, had a think, and all the nonconformers voted with their feet. They emigrated, if not to a new country, to a new community. They left for school and neglected to return. They took temporary jobs that turned permanent, vacations that lasted years and then forever. They left in anger, in joy, in pain, in doubt, in love, in pieces, intact. They waited, procrastinated, debated, heeded bad advice. They took a spouse, a child, a parent, a heresy, a harem. They left shame behind or brought it along, vanished, made the news, made mistakes, made bail, made good.<br />
<br />
A few made history.<br />
<br />
I'll call them Notable Extoots. Encountering them in my reading, I felt compelled to share a few with you. I think you'll relate, even to those who lived generations and continents apart.<br />
<br />
<b>Sara Ranta-Rönnlund, Swedish Sámi Author, </b><b>1903 - 1979</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
Born to a wealthy Talma Sámi reindeer herding family near Jukkasjärvi, Sweden, Sara Ranta-Rönnlund (shortened to Ranta for this profile) had only sporadic schooling, partly because of the Swedish policy restricting Sámi education, and partly because her mother wanted her home, to help with sewing. Ranta's family spoke Sámi, and she taught herself to read and write Swedish. She also knew Tornedalen Finnish (Meankieli), the majority language of the area and of Laestadian services.<br />
<br />
Ranta's parents were devout Western (Firstborn/OALC) Laestadians, and her grandfather often hosted Laestadian meetings. In spite of this, and her godparents being "three great Laestadian preachers," she reported that even at a young age, she found the religion intolerant and restrictive. Ranta was critical of the double standards of the preachers and their power over people.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
She married at 23 and lived eleven years in the villages of Nilivaara and Dokkas. Ranta's daughter Eileen's memoir revealed that Ranta was abused by her first husband who "made her young life a hell." After her marriage was annulled, Ranta remarried in 1947 and settled in Gällivare. Of her nine children, two died in infancy. Her second husband died in 1953, after which Ranta moved with Eileen to Uppsala, where two sons attended school.<br />
<br />
Ranta supported herself first at a bakery job and then as a cleaning woman, working 17-hour days for many years. While cleaning at Uppsala University's Finno-Ugric Department, she met a professor who persuaded her to write and publish her stories. Ranta made her debut at age 68 with the memoir <i>Nådevalpar</i><i> </i>(1971) which means "grace puppies," a term Laestadius used for new converts. It comes from his Karesuando <a href="http://www.laestadiustexter.se/Church_Postilla_1-72.pdf" target="_blank">1849 farewell sermon</a> (p. 108):<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"May the merciful Lord Jesus give us His grace so that all
puppy dogs of grace might be satisfied with the crumbs that fall from
His table, and that they would not fight amongst themselves.
First: How the puppy dogs sit under the table and watch for
fragments. Disgraceful dogs, especially the large hounds of Jiehtanas
(namely the big dogs of the evil spirit) that are accustomed to stealing
and to licking human blood, do not wait until fragments fall from the
table. They leap upon the table and grab the lump of butter and
swallow it as if it were nothing. You cannot take it out of the dog's
stomach if he has already swallowed it. Such large hounds of
Jiehtanas which have lapped broth out of the kettle wherein the devil
has boiled human flesh, as well as the stray dogs which eat mice and
drink flowing devils’s dung, do not wait for fragments but steal the
food out of the hands of people, and if the parent is not with his
children, these disgraceful dogs snatch the food away from the
children's hands. Therefore, the Savior has said to the woman of
Canaan: "It is not meet to take the children's bread and cast it unto the
dogs."</blockquote>
In close succession she published two more memoirs,<i> Njal</i><i> </i>(1972) and <i>Njoalpas söner</i> (1973). Before her death came a fourth book, <i>Sist i Rajden</i> (1978), about her transition from nomad to settler.<br />
<br />
In the following excerpts from <a href="http://umu.diva-portal.org/smash/get/diva2:1182742/FULLTEXT01.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Laestadius and Laestadianism in the Contested Field of Cultural Heritage, A Study of Contemporary Sámi and Tornedalian Texts</a>, Ann Heith describes Ranta's attitude toward Laestadianism in her second book, <i>Njal:</i><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
(A) Laestadian preacher who also is a representative of the poor relief board is
described as a hard-hearted man who will rather save the taxpayers’ money
than spend it on a poor, sick old woman: “– Money should not be spent on
people like that. No taxpayers’ money will be spent on such people. It is
better that they die as quickly as possible.” </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
In Ranta-Rönnlund’s reminiscences, the
preachers forbade children and young people to read newspapers, and their
parents encouraged them to go to prayer meetings and read the preachings
of Laestadius. </blockquote>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-nHsanDKFgGo/XJ1gKQEl52I/AAAAAAAAJ9I/XX7fM8TlFoANNxKpy5ZLTA-4jhz12c2UQCLcBGAs/s1600/sara.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="320" data-original-width="284" height="400" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-nHsanDKFgGo/XJ1gKQEl52I/AAAAAAAAJ9I/XX7fM8TlFoANNxKpy5ZLTA-4jhz12c2UQCLcBGAs/s400/sara.jpg" width="355" /> </a></div>
Heith contrasts this criticism to the praise in her third book:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
The last book, <i>Sist i rajden</i>, includes a positive evaluation of the role
of Laestadius in improving living conditions among the Sámi and Finnish
speaking population of Norrbotten:
When you think back upon how Lars Levi Laestadius in a couple of
decades managed to transform Finnish and Lapp-speaking Norrbotten
from a true Sodom into one of the most decent parts of the long realm
of Sweden, you have to admit that it was a fantastic achievement. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
However, this assessment is immediately followed by a section attempting
to rationalise the reasons for the success of Laestadianism. This section,
with its focus on the role of ideas of sin, contributes to reinforce the predominantly negative depiction of Laestadianism in the previous books.
Ranta-Rönnlund’s analysis proposes that Laestadius himself, as well as
preachers after him, consciously preached about sin, damnation and the
possibility of forgiveness in order to control and manipulate their followers. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
In this context she elaborates upon the preachers’ ever-increasing lists of
sins related to novelties such as bicycles and radios, dress, behaviour and
so on. </blockquote>
Heith concludes that Ranta presents Laestadianism as primarily negative, and:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"hostile to modernity, patriarchal and conservative. In this context, the dissemination of ideas of sin is seen as a strategy that preachers used in order to preserve their power.</blockquote>
Ranta's criticism of the "search for sin" is sadly familiar.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>"In my youth I became more and more captured by the calmer way in which God’s words were preached in the Swedish Lutheran National Church. I often felt depressed by Laestadianism’s search for sin, by the blunt behaviour of the preachers towards the weak and the poor and also by the irrational condemnation of flowers, bicycles, handkerchiefs and other things that really belong to practical everyday life."</i></blockquote>
(One has to marvel that flowers, bicycles, and handkerchiefs were once forbidden. Hope lives that change is still possible in the OALC. Perhaps elderly women could be given a pass on the no-pants silliness, and allowed to wear in public what old men get to wear: pants. Elastic waists make geriatric dressing and toileting easier and safer than struggling with pantyhose and skirts. Maybe I should send a geriatric care guide to the Gentlemen of Gällivare?)<br />
<br />
I hope you enjoyed reading about Sara Ranta-Rönnlund. Did any of her experiences or ideas resonate with you?<br />
<div>
<br />
<i>If you know a Notable you'd like featured, send me a line at <a href="mailto:extoots@gmail.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">extoots@gmail.com</a> or leave a note in the comments. Thanks!</i></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-40621218339259742532019-02-23T15:05:00.000-08:002019-03-11T09:33:23.132-07:00Liv & The Little Boy in the Red Sweater<iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/vU2vVvD0g-Y/0.jpg" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/vU2vVvD0g-Y?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br />
Two new books are available, both about child sex abuse in Laestadian families. One is in from Norway: <a href="https://www.tanum.no/_den-morke-hemmeligheten-i-tysfjord-anne-britt-harsem-9788202599058" target="_blank">Den mørke hemmeligheten i Tysfjord (The Dark Secret in Tysford)</a> by Anne-Britt Harsem. If you can read Norwegian (or know how to turn on translation), read today's compelling <a href="https://www.vg.no/spesial/2019/ut-av-morket/?utm_source=vgfront&utm_content=row-1&fbclid=IwAR1xG-oR8qSkehjW3Mv6HEcX7mLnn_NNuTBGSmG3L8EbDIjDw8_mPtY-eZY" target="_blank">news</a> story and interview with "Liv," the book's subject.<br />
<br />
In English is a book by Carl Huhta, familiar to many readers for his gentle wisdom at the <a href="https://messyguru.typepad.com/messy_guru/" target="_blank">Messy Guru</a> blog. Carl's book is called <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Little-Boy-Red-Sweater-Journey/dp/1645164535/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1549214836&sr=1-1&keywords=the+little+boy+in+the+red" target="_blank">The Little Boy in the Red Sweater</a> and is available at Amazon in paperback and Kindle. He writes:<br />
<br />
<i>My intention is to help others that have been traumatized by sexual abuse and other life-changing experiences. It is raw, honest, and it demonstrates that the pathways to healing can come from unexpected traditions like yoga and meditation.</i><br />
<br />
Bravo, Carl. May your words give healing and courage wherever they are read.<br />
<br />
(Whether or not his topic is relevant to our circumstances, let's all give homeboy some love and buy a copy, share the link, and leave a review. It's the least we can do.)<br /><br /><br />
<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<style type="text/css"> p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 11.0px Helvetica; -webkit-text-stroke: #000000} span.s1 {font-kerning: none} </style>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-52559908186574786512019-01-15T23:59:00.000-08:002019-01-15T23:59:14.271-08:00Whitney's Story<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-aFSjPHV68Ls/XD7g2YOFvsI/AAAAAAAAI8I/h6MFIBBeOhoWG308BvY865kg0fOLj6WXwCLcBGAs/s1600/Girl_sitting_on_a_bench_in_Equador.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="402" height="400" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-aFSjPHV68Ls/XD7g2YOFvsI/AAAAAAAAI8I/h6MFIBBeOhoWG308BvY865kg0fOLj6WXwCLcBGAs/s400/Girl_sitting_on_a_bench_in_Equador.jpg" width="333" /></a></div>
<i>This was submitted by a thoughtful, expressive young reader. I'm so impressed with this latest generation and their ability to see past all the arbitrary divisions defended by their elders, to celebrate in one another those universal human values that transcend culture. If you'd like to share your story, send me an email at </i><i><a href="mailto:extoots@gmail.org">extoots@gmail.org</a>. Thanks! --Free</i><br />
<br />
I left the FALC when I was sixteen, almost three years ago. This is my story.<br />
<br />
As a child, Sunday evenings made me nervous. The mornings were pleasant enough—Mom baked desserts while my siblings and I finished our homework at the table, counting down the minutes before a pie was pulled from the oven. If it was warm outside, dad pumped our bicycle tires with air and sent us down the driveway with a wave.
<br />
<br />
An hour and a half before church started, we started getting ready. That’s when my stomach started feeling queasy. What would I wear? Who would I sit by? What if my only friend wasn’t going?<br />
<br />
Often, we arrived at church an hour early to visit with the elderly folks. I usually spent that time camping out in the bathroom, biting my nails in anticipation.<br />
<br />
Because I attended a school with no classmates from church, I had no friends at church. I was ignored by the girls at Sunday School. It didn’t help that my parents forbade us to wear necklaces, bracelets, or rings, the only jewelry allowed in church. We also weren’t allowed to curl or straighten our hair. Trust me, this did not help with my middle school desire to be popular.<br />
<br />
If I was considered peculiar by my Sunday School counterparts, I was an alien to my schoolmates. At least I could relate somewhat with those from church; at school, I was the only one in my grade who’d never seen "Lion King," let alone never watched TV. For this reason, I went out of my way to make friends with the foreign exchange students who seemed as lonely as I. This would be one of the best things that ever happened to me. I met Inka, an excitable and trustworthy girl from Finland who taught me my first swear word—and it was in Finnish! Another friend, Sofia, warmly shared her culture over bowls of Ecuadorian potato soup.
<br />
<br />
I believe it was because of these friends that I am now out of the church, <i>and for that I am grateful</i>. At first, I was shocked at what they told me—movies and nail polish seemed like off-limit conversation topics, but later I welcomed their information with quiet satisfaction, ticking off the movies I’d seen at their homes, say, or knowing what a condom was, or learning how to make the sign of the cross over my head and chest. We talked about world poverty and fate, of divorces and religion.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gCKFfWiGWt8/XD7iJb-udZI/AAAAAAAAI8U/F_9R9fCPHWY7itPdKNAXWkaohjP66au7ACLcBGAs/s1600/1920px-Muslim_Girlfriends_-_Stone_Town_-_Zanzibar_-_Tanzania_%25288841030891%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gCKFfWiGWt8/XD7iJb-udZI/AAAAAAAAI8U/F_9R9fCPHWY7itPdKNAXWkaohjP66au7ACLcBGAs/s640/1920px-Muslim_Girlfriends_-_Stone_Town_-_Zanzibar_-_Tanzania_%25288841030891%2529.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
Two years after my last foreign exchange friend returned to her motherland, I began paying attention to the sermons in church. I mean, <i>seriously</i> paying attention. It was a sort of revelation that may only come once—you know, when you’re looking around, thinking, “does everyone actually believe all this?” The minister, as usual, talked about how we were the one true faith, but this time I couldn’t stop thinking about my friends—one a nearly devout Catholic who was thousands of miles away in Ecuador, who literally didn’t know the name of my church. Granted, I’d heard those lines hundreds of times, but somehow the “world,” as it was talked about, seemed a dear friend, and the stakes appeared much higher for my “worldly” friends. Something wasn’t right.
<br />
<br />
I’ll spare the details of my leaving—it was a brutal affair, and I’m not quite ready to talk about it. I will instead remark that I’ve repaired the relationships with most of my family members. Life isn’t such a chore as it once was. The church was my whole life, and I walked away from it. There’s still a scar, and I suppose there always will be, but hey—I’m okay with that. I had a great childhood and wonderful parents, truly. I wouldn’t trade my experience for anything. It’s beautiful, haunting, and I’m drawn to it. Makes for a great writing topic, too.<br />
<br />
I feel I’m a much more spiritually inclined person than I ever was in the church. I no longer have the propensity to shy away from a stranger who’s overtly Jewish or Muslim. At the moment I’m into authors and theologians like Sarah Bessey and Rachel Held Evans, who argue that the Bible isn’t too big that we needn’t talk about the parts which trouble us.<br />
<br />
I once broke fast with Muslim friends who never once looked at me the way I used to look at them.
<br />
<br />
--Whitney<br />
<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-80966396439436352472018-09-25T10:07:00.005-07:002018-09-25T10:07:59.494-07:00Breaking Silence<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-J0ztvQM2mIk/W6pqEvo7BJI/AAAAAAAAIr8/iyPpf8qCTe8T36WBuGedcK4W_SIP5ehXgCLcBGAs/s1600/womanwithtapeonmouth.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="1600" height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-J0ztvQM2mIk/W6pqEvo7BJI/AAAAAAAAIr8/iyPpf8qCTe8T36WBuGedcK4W_SIP5ehXgCLcBGAs/s400/womanwithtapeonmouth.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/carolyntiry/3992988737" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: italic; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: right; vertical-align: baseline;">Photo credit: Carolyn Tiry/Flickr | Remix by Dell Cameron</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">From </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Rebecca Solnit,<b> </b></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Mother-All-Questions-Feminist-Revolutions/dp/1608467406" target="_blank">The Mother of All Questions</a>:<br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">"Being unable to tell your story is a living death and sometimes a literal one. If no one listens when you say your ex-husband is trying to kill you, if no one believes you when you say you have a pain in your body, if no one hears you when you say help, if you don’t dare say help, if you have been trained not to bother people by saying help. If you are considered to be out of line when you speak up in a meeting, are not admitted into an institution of power, are subject to irrelevant criticism whose subtext is that women should not be here, or heard. </span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><b>Liberation is always in part a storytelling process, breaking stories, breaking silences, making new stories. A free person tells her own story.</b></span></blockquote>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
Violence against women is often against our voices and our stories. It is a refusal of our voices, and of what a voice means: the right to self-determination, to participation, to consent or dissent, to live and participate, to interpret and narrate. A husband hits his wife to silence her; a date rapist or acquaintance rapist refuses to let the “no” of his victim mean what it should, that she alone has jurisdiction over her body; rape culture asserts that women’s testimony is worthless, untrustworthy; anti-abortion activists also seek to silence the self-determination of women; a murderer silences forever. These are assertions that the victim has no rights, no value, is not an equal. They have their equivalent in smaller ways in language: the people harassed and badgered into silence online, talked over and cut out in conversation, belittled, humiliated, dismissed. Having a voice is crucial. </div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
<b>It’s not all there is to human rights, but it’s central to them, and so you can consider the history of women’s rights and lack of rights as a history of silence and breaking silence.</b></blockquote>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
We are not where we were in 1991. And where we were in 1961, when I was born--I think it's hard for people who aren't historically-minded and weren't there to comprehend how deeply misogyny, exclusion, and the suppression of women's rights, powers, and voices were not an imposition on the rules but the<i> unquestioned </i>rule.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
There is no inevitability that we will continue to win; it requires as it always did passionate participation and some vision that it can be different. It is already different from 1991, 1961, because we are winning --and they are furious about it. As Michelle Alexander pointed out this weekend, we are not the resistance; they are; we are part of the revolutionary river of change they are trying to resist.</div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><b>We have a long way to go to a world where women live without fear and in equality, but we have come so far already. Don't stop now."</b></span></blockquote>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vvftezVUi1s/W6pocVxuNmI/AAAAAAAAIr0/6ibvZ65Nro87NSu-NPUdiHWcURuAD3pjgCEwYBhgL/s1600/hands.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="549" data-original-width="1050" height="334" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vvftezVUi1s/W6pocVxuNmI/AAAAAAAAIr0/6ibvZ65Nro87NSu-NPUdiHWcURuAD3pjgCEwYBhgL/s640/hands.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-74338876131712951932018-09-12T10:00:00.000-07:002018-09-12T10:00:15.151-07:00Religious Trauma: Steps to Recovery<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-C0ecqv3UUkY/W5lBOixNxEI/AAAAAAAAIpU/BcIe6wOZW5oLCYVdu09Veer3x0xpeqeMgCLcBGAs/s1600/40874002_1371237866312174_8849929410766176256_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="954" data-original-width="960" height="396" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-C0ecqv3UUkY/W5lBOixNxEI/AAAAAAAAIpU/BcIe6wOZW5oLCYVdu09Veer3x0xpeqeMgCLcBGAs/s400/40874002_1371237866312174_8849929410766176256_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
The following is excerpted from the website <a href="http://journeyfree.org/" target="_blank">Journey Free</a>, founded Marlene Winell, Ph.D., psychologist and author of <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Leaving-Fold-Former-Fundamentalists-Religion/dp/1933993235" target="_blank"><i>Leaving the Fold: A Guide for Former Fundamentalists and Others Leaving Their Religion</i>. </a>She has been working in religious recovery for over 25 years and originated the term <a href="https://www.salon.com/2014/11/01/the_sad_twisted_truth_about_conservative_christianitys_effect_on_the_mind_partner/" target="_blank">"<i>religious trauma syndrome</i>."</a> Journey Free offers a <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV2YYlNNZPkZWDXzXnxADvA" target="_blank">Youtube series</a>, no-cost phone consulting and <a href="https://journeyfree.org/retreats/" target="_blank">low-cost retreats</a> (the next one is in San Francisco, September 21-24, 2018).<br />
<br />
Several extoots have recommended Marlene Winell over the years. Perhaps she'd be willing to lead a retreat in your area if contacted. Doesn't hurt to try!<br />
<br />
<b>1. Get Real</b><br />
<ul>
<li>This is when you start to get it that your religion is not really working for you. It’s not making sense intellectually, it’s not paying off emotionally, or you see moral problems with it.</li>
<li>This early stage is hard because dogmatic systems do not let go easily and there is a cycle of abuse as you get blamed for the problems.</li>
<li>Your doubts and questions feel dangerous because you haven’t been allowed to think for yourself. Yet you have to start getting honest.</li>
<li>Be honest with yourself about whether your religion is working for you. Let go of trying to force it to make sense.</li>
<li>Have a look at life and the world AS IT IS, and stop trying to live in a parallel universe. This world might not be perfect but facing reality will help you get your life on track.</li>
<li>If you feel guilty, realize that the religion teaches you to feel responsible when it isn’t working and tells you to go back and try harder, just like an abusive relationship.</li>
</ul>
<b>2. Get a Grip</b><br />
<ul>
<li>Eventually, the problems get to be too much and you want to stop forcing everything to fit. Don’t panic. It’s important to understand that the fear is just part of the phobia indoctrination.</li>
<li>Phobia indoctrination is a self-serving part of the religion that tells you that terrible things will happen to you if you leave.</li>
<li>If you calm down, you’ll be just fine. Many people have been through this. So read some deconversion stories and calm down. You will be fine.</li>
<li>When you look at the world as it really is, facing reality will help you get your life on track.</li>
</ul>
<b>3. Get Informed</b><br />
<ul>
<li>Do everything you can to educate yourself. You are free to read, watch videos, and expose yourself to all the knowledge in the world – history, philosophy, other religions, mythology, science, psychology, biology, and more.</li>
<li>Read authors who have explained why they deconverted. In particular, learn about the origins of your religion and scripture, such as how the Bible was put together and early church history.</li>
<li>Having a look from an unbiased viewpoint can be pretty eye-opening. Enjoy letting your brain breathe.</li>
</ul>
<b>4. Get Support</b><br />
<ul>
<li>Healing from toxic religion is not just intellectual. It goes deep into your emotional and psychological make-up, especially if you were taught as a child.</li>
<li>So don’t be surprised if you have a gap between what you know in your head and what you feel in your gut.</li>
<li>You can reject a belief in hell, for example, and still have nightmares. Get support in any way you can – from <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/extoots/" target="_blank">online forums</a>, local groups, a therapist who understands, or go to a recovery retreat.</li>
<li>Do the work to heal the wounds of religious abuse. And be careful about what you may have been told about the evils of psychology or getting secular help.</li>
</ul>
<b>5. Get Well</b><br />
<ul>
<li>It’s important to give yourself time to process your feelings and learn how to trust yourself. You will probably need to deal with many emotions, such as anxiety, anger, depression, loneliness, and grief.</li>
<li>You will also need to regain trust in your thinking abilities, practice expressing your own views, and develop critical thinking, creativity, and decision-making.</li>
<li>If you do the work to get healthy and mature, eventually your wounds will heal. You will feel stronger and able to love and take care of yourself.</li>
</ul>
<b>6. Get a Life</b><br />
<ul>
<li>Letting go of a religious worldview means you have to rethink who you are and what life is about. You also have to rebuild most of your life structure such as social networks, work, and family relationships.</li>
<li>In general, you will have to take responsibility for your own choices instead of depending on the religion or God’s will for guiding your life. This is exciting of course, because you are now in the world with many options, but it may be a little daunting as well.</li>
<li>But it is up to you to reclaim your life, construct your identity, and make commitments to new values. Rebuild your life around new values and engage fully with your choices. Develop your identity as you learn to love and trust yourself.</li>
<li>Take responsibility and create the life that works for you – in work, family, leisure, social – all the areas of commitment that make a life structure. If you still want a spiritual life, define it for yourself.</li>
<li>Venture into the “world” for new experiences and new friends. This will take time but you can do it.</li>
</ul>
<b>7. Get Clear</b><br />
<ul>
<li>At some stage, you will need to let other people know about your change in views. For many this feels like coming out of the closet and has serious implications. Family and friends who are still believers may react in negative ways, especially at first.</li>
<li>You may go through some challenging adjustments in your relationships. But for most people, this honesty is eventually necessary in order to have personal integrity.</li>
<li>It can be hard to let other people go through their own feelings and to deal with all the issues, but in the end, it’s worth it.</li>
</ul>
<b>8. Get With The Program</b><br />
<ul>
<li>Welcome to the human race. Accept the idea that Earth is your home and humanity is your true family. If you aren’t part of a special group that is leaving, consider what that means for you.</li>
<li>You may want to participate in larger concerns to make the world a better place, such as caring for the environment or working for social justice.</li>
<li>Let go of expecting God to take care of all the problems and join others to make the world a better place here and now. You can see that we are all interconnected and you can enjoy relationships with other people.</li>
</ul>
<b>9. Get Your Groove On</b><br />
<ul>
<li>As you relax about being part of this earth, you reclaim enjoyment of sensation and pleasure. You realize you don’t have to earn the right to exist. You are just like other animals.</li>
<li>Your sensory experiences are delightful, your body is great, and sex is good. You find all the ways to appreciate nature.</li>
<li>It’s ok to simply enjoy being alive. Learn to be present here and now. Enjoy and love other people instead of judging. Reclaim your creativity and express yourself any way you like, not just to “glorify God.”</li>
<li>Love your body and take care of it. Embrace this life instead of worrying about the next. Sing and dance and laugh for no reason except Being Alive.</li>
</ul>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-49707093206504131332018-08-27T12:45:00.001-07:002018-08-27T12:45:03.413-07:00People of Sápmi - Northern Norway 1882<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="344" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ya6yw7RPjGg" width="459"></iframe>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-83254858887011777842018-07-03T19:10:00.001-07:002018-07-03T19:10:58.233-07:00Laestadian Divisions (Guest Post)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-RWf6nf4YmH0/WzuoqTZGHTI/AAAAAAAAIg4/-tLbTMAGyQsdXrbYU0WXCWPeo5JKfE-wwCPcBGAYYCw/s1600/36230271_10216436698501216_181928385092517888_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="362" data-original-width="992" height="145" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-RWf6nf4YmH0/WzuoqTZGHTI/AAAAAAAAIg4/-tLbTMAGyQsdXrbYU0WXCWPeo5JKfE-wwCPcBGAYYCw/s400/36230271_10216436698501216_181928385092517888_o.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
<i>Following is a guest post from a reader with the pen name </i><span style="font-size: 12.8px;"><i>IlmarH. If you would like to contribute a post, please email me using the form on the home page. I</i></span><i style="font-size: 12.8px;">f you would like to discuss Laestadianism in North America (with insiders and outsiders), join this new Facebook <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/268950673654287/" target="_blank">group</a>.</i><span style="font-size: 12.8px;"><i> —Free</i></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
<span style="font-size: 12.8px;"><br />________________________</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
<span style="font-size: 12.8px;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
<span style="font-size: 12.8px;">I am writing from Finland, and am curious to know how recent events in Europe have affected the OALC and perhaps other Laestadian factions. Perhaps readers of this blog could report on the current spiritual weather in North American Laestadian groups. The tumultuous times in America in the period 1880-1900 had an influence in the breaking of the movement here, and more recently the American OALC culture has been a factor in the breach in the European Firstborn flock (separation from the Lutheran Church communion, etc).</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
I suspect that sooner or later this division will send some waves to the OALC as well.</div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<b><i>I find the theological attitudes and arguments on both sides alien at best</i></b></blockquote>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
There are websites in Finland where the two factions of the Firstborn breach are discussing and arguing, e.g., <a data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?hl=en&q=http://esikoisten.foorumi.eu&source=gmail&ust=1530726802552000&usg=AFQjCNHHhZvAb0M4muxDe73La_NaGSfZXQ" href="http://esikoisten.foorumi.eu/" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">http://esikoisten.foorumi.eu</a>. I find the theological attitudes and arguments on both sides alien at best, and frequently appalling. My interests and viewpoint are more in the general phenomena of religion-culture-society, interaction of world religions, etc. I am challenging fundamentalism and the fatal neglect and mockery of broad-minded Bible scholars.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
The main Laestadian faction, Vanhoillislestadiolaiset / SRK (LLC in the North America) has interesting ripples as well. An active blog (<a data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?hl=en&q=https://hulluinhuonelainen.wordpress.com&source=gmail&ust=1530726802552000&usg=AFQjCNEQZPSju21QUeYoD4mR3t2ENIgiZw" href="https://hulluinhuonelainen.wordpress.com/" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">https://hulluinhuonelainen.<wbr></wbr>wordpress.com</a>) has reported some of the waves. The blog was initiated by two bright young theologians, Joona Korteniemi and Roosa Tahkola. Korteniemi was a priest in the Finnish Lutheran Church and also an SRK preacher. Some months ago he posted a message that he is giving up his position as a preacher due to differences between his convictions and Laestadian closed-congregation “only us” doctrine. I can imagine that this man has been quite alone, on a raft on open sea. I feel respect and sympathy for him. His blog contains writings of many thankful supporters but is also filled with texts from hot-head believers and narrow-span fundamentalists, and even hostile outbursts. (Unfortunately indicative of the intolerance justified by religious writings—a common plague all over.) </div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
The next phase of this story is surprising and unusual. Some weeks ago Korteniemi posted a message revealing that he has decided to join the Catholic Church. Some ex-Firstborn friends have sympathized or joined other denominations, for instance the “orthodox” Lähetyshiippakunta (Evangelical Lutheran Mission Diocese). See <a data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?hl=en&q=http://www.lhpk.fi/en/&source=gmail&ust=1530726802552000&usg=AFQjCNHQacuDaFuu-QNyZtX1a2YCiaH5Ww" href="http://www.lhpk.fi/en/" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">http://www.lhpk.fi/en/</a>.</div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<b><i>Christianity worldwide is in disarray and the main reason is . . . sex</i></b></blockquote>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
Christianity worldwide is in disarray and the main reason is—how original!—sex / gender / reproduction, particularly the question of female priests, birth control, and attitude towards homosexuals. The crucial ideological rift is between two paradigms regarding Bible interpretation. Fundamentalist groups take every line, phrase, and saying in Bible as divine, untouchable truth that should not be analyzed with human reason, intellectual analysis, or socio-historical research. The other faction respects the Bible as the foundation of our civilization providing moral values and humanitarian guidelines of life, but recognizes the historical processes and cultural evolution that have taken place in the past 3,000 years.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-zumYGfjHf2o/Wzu8PXmA60I/AAAAAAAAIhA/ysn1jaO4qLgzhDSpcxbb1uL-xwRabv08ACLcBGAs/s1600/biblical-literalism.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="494" data-original-width="720" height="438" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-zumYGfjHf2o/Wzu8PXmA60I/AAAAAAAAIhA/ysn1jaO4qLgzhDSpcxbb1uL-xwRabv08ACLcBGAs/s640/biblical-literalism.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
I would like to see some signs of global reforms in Christianity spanning Catholicism, Protestantism, and all Christian denominations. The third millennium of Christianity is unfolding—but how, and in which direction?</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
IlmarH<br /><br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-82501792435252532182018-06-11T12:55:00.000-07:002018-06-14T12:46:23.702-07:00When a Sin is a Crime — Laestadians & Sex Abuse<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14px;"><iframe frameborder="0" height="500" src="https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p061zjps/player" width="400"></iframe></span><br />
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"><br />
<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://www.bbc.com/news/stories-43478396">http://www.bbc.com/news/stories-43478396</a></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
If you are a survivor of sex abuse, you may want to skip this post, as it is likely to open old wounds. Everyone else, please read on.<br />
<br />
I posted here about Tysfjord in 2016 when the story broke and have been following the updates since then, much of it in Norwegian, using Google Translate to make sense of them<i>. </i>Many of the victims and abusers in Tysfjord are/were Firstborn Laestadian, the corollary to the Old Apostolic Lutheran Church here in America; both follow the same leaders in Gällivare, Sweden.<br />
<br />
I've been following the situation with both horror and hope: horror that so many were hurt, and hope that healing is possible -- not only for the Tysfjord victims but for every family, workplace, church, and community yet to be cleansed by the #metoo tsunami.</div>
<br />
When I emailed a relative inside the OALC about my hope that the situation in Tysfjord would compel the Gällivare elders to reform church practices, he responded "they would not try to affect natural affairs, as that would violate the doctrine of St. Paul, as he only allows one subject, to preach Jesus and Himself crucified."<br />
<br />
Perhaps there was a misunderstanding? Perhaps not. The OALC may well view its silencing of sex abuse victims as virtuous rather than complicitous.<br />
<br />
In April, I received a phone call from a friend who grew up in the OALC, a survivor of childhood sexual abuse by an uncle who escaped all consequences in spite of his confession to preachers. Like so many other victims, she was first disbelieved, and then instructed to forgive and forget (if she did not forgive him, the sin would be on her soul). At 27 years old, she had struggled with crippling depression since childhood, and she was calling to tell me of other victims in the church, similarly abused and silenced, some related to her, some not. Her anguish was evident.<br />
<br />
What can we do, she asked? Together we talked about possible actions, e.g., bringing a lawsuit for obstruction of justice. Lobbying for a change in the mandatory reporting law to specify lay clergy. Creating a shelter and legal fund to help women in the church to divorce abusive husbands (instead of staying, afraid to lose custody in a church-funded court battle). Filming a documentary on the church. Ultimately we decided to start with a smaller, more achievable project: Youtube interviews of OALC abuse victims. Before I hung up the phone, I told her about Tysfjord, how an entire "Firstborn" community was finding its voice, and why it gave me hope for reforms in the OALC. I mentioned that I was collecting notes for a blog post.<br />
<br />
Send me your notes, she said. I emailed them on May 3rd. Three weeks later, she took her own life.<br />
<br />
All who loved Kara are heartbroken, and searching for ways we could have helped prevent her death. If you are one of us, may we use that heartbreak to do the work she didn't have the strength to continue.<br />
<br />
For the child she was, and the children she loved, I want to believe the tipping point is here.<br />
<br />
That point comes, in the words of Tysfjord's Sámi community center director Lars Magne Andreasson, when "the shame of staying <i>quiet</i> about abuse becomes greater than the shame of speaking up."<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><i>When the shame of staying quiet becomes greater than the shame of speaking up</i></span></b></blockquote>
The shame of complicity with abusers -- of <i>not protecting the vulnerable -- </i>must prick the awakened consciences in the church. "Faith in the elders" must not be used as an excuse for an individual to avoid personal ethical and legal action. The lay clergy in the OALC are given power most of them did not ask for, and for which few are equipped or educated.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OYwEkdWSX64/Wx6YBUiTNkI/AAAAAAAAIe0/ReNoeMJ0MnQSiwxYPVLAHJ8u9-wm2Ge1QCLcBGAs/s1600/silencecomplicity.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="300" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OYwEkdWSX64/Wx6YBUiTNkI/AAAAAAAAIe0/ReNoeMJ0MnQSiwxYPVLAHJ8u9-wm2Ge1QCLcBGAs/s1600/silencecomplicity.jpg" /></a></div>
No doubt some preachers are doing the right thing, ethically and legally, if the increasing number of OALC men being prosecuted for sex crimes are an indication (my readers send me news items). But considerably more "known offenders" remain at large, and the OALC grapevine, and whatever red/yellow/green alert systems any family may adopt, are not preventing their access to victims.<br />
<br />
The church leadership in Gällivare must address the systemic problem.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Until OALC elders state clearly that sex abuse is a <i>crime, </i>to be reported to law enforcement and investigated by the state not the church, the cycle of abuse will continue. </span></b><br />
<br />
To understand Tysfjord, context is important. For the majority of residents, who are Sámi and Laestadian, the historical trauma of colonization is ample justification for distrusting the state and preferring private, interpersonal resolutions over legal ones. Colonization deprived the Sámi of self-determination, language, land, and culture, and disrupted the social bonds that protected children. Forced assimilation, called "Norwegianisation, was institutionalized from the mid-1800s and within living memory of some Tysfjord residents. How can the state that forcibly separated families be trusted?<br />
<div class="p1">
<br /></div>
“One of the most important reasons why people with Sami background don’t report violence is that they lack trust in the state apparatus. . . (and) the tabooing of sex and body, the silence concerning everything private, and the idea that issues are solved within the family. We find such ideas everywhere in Norway, but there are indications that these taboos are stronger within Laestadian and Sami communities." (Researcher <a href="http://kjonnsforskning.no/en/2017/06/sami-victims-violence-do-not-seek-help">Solveig Bergman</a>, whose 2017 survey indicated Sámi victims of violence are less likely to seek help than Norwegians.)<br />
<br />
Laestadianism's exclusivism and gender roles further impede transparency and accountability, making it all the more remarkable for #metoo to succeed in Tysfjord.<br />
<br />
<div class="p1">
A recap:<br />
<br />
In 2016, in a community of only 2,000 residents, decades of widespread sex abuse were revealed, sending shock waves throughout Norway and beyond. This came after years of persistence by parents trying to get the attention of authorities, and ultimately, one abuse survivor whose post on Facebook was read by a journalist. That journalist's research culminated in a national newspaper article, which was read by Tysfjord's chief of police, who demanded her deputies conduct an immediate investigation, which revealed 151 sexual assaults over six decades, by mostly male, but also a couple of female abusers. Forty were rapes of young children.<br />
<br />
Most of the cases were too old to prosecute.<br />
<br />
Nine years earlier, in 2007, desperate parents held a meeting in Tysfjord where local authorities were informed of the scope of the problem. The reaction was disbelief. Nothing more. Victims reporting to church leaders were likewise met with disbelief, or told to forgive and forget. Some of the families in Tysfjord developed their own system of protecting kids: families were assigned red, yellow, or green depending on how safe it was for children to sleep there, or even to visit. Red meant danger of rape or molestation.<br />
<br />
It was not until a national newspaper published the article in 2016, and the police chief found it compelling, that interviews began. One thousand of them. Two cases have ended with convictions so far and more are in the pipeline. (The full police report, in Norwegian, can be found <a href="https://www.politiet.no/globalassets/04-aktuelt-tall-og-fakta/voldtekt-og-seksuallovbrudd/sluttrapport-tysfjord_endelig.pdf" target="_blank">here</a>.)<br />
<br />
One of the victims said that when she was a teenager in the village, young people told each other about sexual abuse, but adults would not listen. </div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"We were called whores and liars." (<a href="http://www.bbc.com/news/stories-43478396" target="_blank">Nina Iverson, BBC news story</a>)</blockquote>
<div class="p1">
When Tysfjord's Firstborn leaders were asked to <a href="https://www.vg.no/nyheter/innenriks/i/yPwog/menighet-undersoeker-selv-mistanker-om-seksuelle-overgrep" target="_blank">comment</a>, they initially said that preachers conduct their own investigations into sex abuse allegations, and report only when deemed necessary. This was met with outrage.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"The preachers have no prerequisite for making such assessments. It is the police's task." (Former Tysfjord sheriff Kenneth Nilsen)</blockquote>
</div>
<div class="p1">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"I strongly respond to the statements from the church in Tysfjord . . . everybody has a duty to report suspicion of child and youth abuse." (Norwegian Child and Equality Minister Solveig Horne)</blockquote>
The following month, the church issued another statement (<a href="https://www.an.no/debatt/tysfjord/overgrep/tysfjord-lastadianere-og-overgrep/o/5-4-336213" target="_blank">here, in Norwegian</a>) disavowing their former release. In a church where "nothing changes," something had changed.<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
The elders in Gällivare surely know the unintended consequences of certain practices, that the "forgive and forget" tradition effectively colludes with rapists and pedophiles, allowing them to maintain access to the victim. A child is even less likely to report abuse to an adult if she knows she may be required to meet with her abuser and "talk to the preachers," often alone, without her parents. This is truly inexcusable.<br />
<br />
Now imagine a child being required to <i>embrace</i> his or her abuser and say the ritual words granting forgiveness and asking repentance. What did the victim do, to be required to repent? She tempted him. She sat on his lap. She didn't resist enough.<br />
<br />
How many victims were compelled to forgive OALC pedophiles before a parent -- often a "worldly" or one whose standing in the church was already compromised -- ignored the advice and filed charges?<br />
<br />
State law in America is sadly less protective of victims than Norwegian law, but telling a victim of crime <i>not to report</i> to authorities is illegal everywhere. It's called obstruction of justice.<br />
<br />
Will it take a lawsuit against the OALC to change this practice?<br />
<br />
Kara thought so.<br />
<br />
The average pedophile molests <a href="http://yellodyno.com/Statistics/statistics_child_molester.html" target="_blank">260 victims during their lifetime</a>. Over 90% of convicted pedophiles are arrested again for the same offense after their release from prison.<br />
<br />
"like other sexual orientations, pedophilia is unlikely to change. The goal of treatment, therefore, is to prevent someone from acting on pedophile urges — either by decreasing sexual arousal around children or increasing the ability to manage that arousal. <i>But neither is as effective for reducing harm as preventing access to children, or providing close supervision." </i>(<a href="https://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletter_article/pessimism-about-pedophilia">Harvard Medical School</a>)<br />
<br />
How many pedophiles remain in the OALC community's good graces, attending church and gatherings, while their victims drifted into isolation, mental illness, drug use, suicide?<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Kara's abuser attended her funeral. He sat in the church that protected him, and rejected her, that allowed him access to other victims even after he confessed.</span></b></blockquote>
Let that sink in. Do you see anything remotely Christian about that?<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
According to the Norwegian news service NRK, "tens of victims and their supporters" received threats of violence and reprisals after speaking up. Here in America, we should expect no better. But change is coming.<br />
<br />
The municipality of Tysfjord has apologized for its neglect. The Norwegian government pledged <a href="http://www.dagen.no/Nyheter/innenriks/Tysfjord-f%C3%A5r-24-millioner-kroner-til-tillitsprosjekt-558806" target="_blank">monetary support</a> (over $1 million) to increase cultural competence among service providers, to build trust. Big name musicians gathered in Tysfjord and performed, gratis, at <a href="https://tv.nrk.no/serie/sapmi-konsert/SAPP63041018/10-03-2018">a concert </a>affirming Sámi mihá (pride). There were unexpectedly large numbers who attended an interfaith (Lutheran and Laestadian, that is) service in the Tysfjord church. Sámi journalist Kenneth Haetta and three others <a href="https://www.nrk.no/sapmi/fritt-ords-pris-til-journalistene-i-tysfjord-saken-1.13991107" target="_blank">were awarded the Fritt Ords Prize</a> for their reporting. (Listen to this English-language <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/w3csvp08" target="_blank">BBC report</a> on the process of healing.)<br />
<br />
Lars Magne Andreasson is optimistic:</div>
<div class="p1">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">"We've come to the point where we dare to have the conversation."</span></b></blockquote>
</blockquote>
</div>
<div class="p1">
It's past time for American Firstborn, and those who have left the church, to have that conversation. In our homes and if necessary, in the courts.<br />
<br />
If you would like to be interviewed for Kara's Youtube series, please send me a note.<br />
<br />
It's time to speak truth to power.</div>
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-53493343803697709372018-06-07T18:37:00.005-07:002018-06-07T18:37:53.419-07:00You Carry the Cure In Your Own Heart: Healing from Emotional Abuse<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PUuZ5SU8Wi4/Wxndh9pTpVI/AAAAAAAAIeI/2J5fmZM77hQ62Cg9minMDADYBy9zWAStgCLcBGAs/s1600/karaslastimagemay32018.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="411" data-original-width="472" height="347" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PUuZ5SU8Wi4/Wxndh9pTpVI/AAAAAAAAIeI/2J5fmZM77hQ62Cg9minMDADYBy9zWAStgCLcBGAs/s400/karaslastimagemay32018.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<b>Emotional abuse of children can lead, in adulthood, to addiction, rage, a severely damaged sense of self and an inability to truly bond with others. But—if it happened to you—there is a way out.</b></blockquote>
<i>Following is an excerpted essay by attorney and author Andrew Vachss, an expert on the subject of child abuse and author of "Down in the Zero."</i><br />
<br />
Emotional abuse is the systematic diminishment of another. It may be intentional or subconscious (or both), but it is always a course of conduct, not a single event. It is designed to reduce a child's self–concept to the point where the victim considers himself unworthy—unworthy of respect, unworthy of friendship, unworthy of the natural birthright of all children: love and protection.<br />
<br />
Emotional abuse can be as deliberate as a gunshot: "You're fat. You're stupid. You're ugly."<br />
<br />
Emotional abuse can be active. Vicious belittling: "You'll never be the success your brother was."<br />
<br />
Deliberate humiliation: "You're so stupid. I'm ashamed you're my son."<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">It also can be passive, the emotional equivalent of child neglect—a sin of omission, true, but one no less destructive.</span></b></blockquote>
<br />
And it may be a combination of the two, which increases the negative effects geometrically.<br />
<br />
Emotional abuse can be verbal or behavioral, active or passive, frequent or occasional. Regardless, it is often as painful as physical assault. And, with rare exceptions, the pain lasts much longer. A parent's love is so important to a child that withholding it can cause a "failure to thrive" condition similar to that of children who have been denied adequate nutrition.<br />
<br />
Even the natural solace of siblings is denied to those victims of emotional abuse who have been designated as the family's "target child." The other children are quick to imitate their parents. Instead of learning the qualities every child will need as an adult—empathy, nurturing and protectiveness—they learn the viciousness of a pecking order. And so the cycle continues.<br />
<br />
But whether as a deliberate target or an innocent bystander, the emotionally abused child inevitably struggles to "explain" the conduct of his abusers—and ends up struggling for survival in a quicksand of self–blame.<br />
<br />
Emotional abuse is both the most pervasive and the least understood form of child maltreatment. Its victims are often dismissed simply because their wounds are not visible. In an era in which fresh disclosures of unspeakable child abuse are everyday fare, the pain and torment of those who experience "only" emotional abuse is often trivialized. We understand and accept that victims of physical or sexual abuse need both time and specialized treatment to heal. But when it comes to emotional abuse, we are more likely to believe the victims will "just get over it" when they become adults.<br />
<br />
That assumption is dangerously wrong. Emotional abuse scars the heart and damages the soul. Like cancer, it does its most deadly work internally. And, like cancer, it can metastasize if untreated.<br />
<br />
When it comes to damage, there is no real difference between physical, sexual and emotional abuse. All that distinguishes one from the other is the abuser's choice of weapons. I remember a woman, a grandmother whose abusers had long since died, telling me that time had not conquered her pain. "It wasn't just the incest," she said quietly. "It was that he didn't love me. If he loved me, he couldn't have done that to me."<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">their lives often are marked by a deep, pervasive sadness, a severely damaged self-concept and an inability to truly engage and bond with others</span></b></blockquote>
<br />
But emotional abuse is unique because it is designed to make the victim feel guilty. Emotional abuse is repetitive and eventually cumulative behavior—very easy to imitate—and some victims later perpetuate the cycle with their own children. Although most victims courageously reject that response, their lives often are marked by a deep, pervasive sadness, a severely damaged self-concept and an inability to truly engage and bond with others.<br />
<br />
We must renounce the lie that emotional abuse is good for children because it prepares them for a hard life in a tough world. I've met some individuals who were prepared for a hard life that way—I met them while they were <i>doing life.</i><br />
<br />
Emotionally abused children grow up with significantly altered perceptions so that they "see" behaviors—their own and others'—through a filter of distortion. Many emotionally abused children engage in a lifelong drive for the approval (which they translate as "love") of others. So eager are they for love—and so convinced that they don't deserve it—that they are prime candidates for abuse within intimate relationships.<br />
<br />
The emotionally abused child can be heard inside every battered woman who insists: "It was my fault, really. I just seem to provoke him somehow."<br />
<br />
And the almost–inevitable failure of adult relationships reinforces that sense of unworthiness, compounding the felony, reverberating throughout the victim's life.<br />
<br />
Emotional abuse conditions the child to expect abuse in later life. Emotional abuse is a time bomb, but its effects are rarely visible, because the emotionally abused tend to implode, turning the anger against themselves. And when someone is outwardly successful in most areas of life, who looks within to see the hidden wounds?<br />
<br />
The primary weapons of emotional abusers is the deliberate infliction of guilt. They use guilt the same way a loan shark uses money: They don't want the "debt" paid off, because they live quite happily on the "interest."<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">when you look for approval to those who can not or will not provide it—you play the role assigned to you by your abusers</span></b></blockquote>
<br />
When your self-concept has been shredded, when you have been deeply injured and made to feel the injury was all your fault, when you look for approval to those who can not or will not provide it—you play the role assigned to you by your abusers. It's time to stop playing that role.<br />
<br />
Because emotional abuse comes in so many forms (and so many disguises), recognition is the key to effective response. For example, when allegations of child sexual abuse surface, it is a particularly hideous form of emotional abuse to pressure the victim to recant, saying he or she is "hurting the family" by telling the truth. And precisely the same holds true when a child is pressured to sustain a lie by a "loving" parent.<br />
<br />
Another rarely understood form of emotional abuse makes victims responsible for their own abuse by demanding that they "understand" the perpetrator. Telling a 12–year–old girl that she was an —enabler— of her own incest is emotional abuse at its most repulsive.<br />
<br />
A particularly pernicious myth is that "healing requires forgiveness" of the abuser. For the victim of emotional abuse, the most viable form of help is self–help—and a victim handicapped by the need to "forgive" the abuser is a handicapped helper indeed. The most damaging mistake an emotional–abuse victim can make is to invest in the "rehabilitation" of the abuser. Too often this becomes still another wish that didn't come true—and emotionally abused children will conclude that they deserve no better result.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">although the damage was done with words, true forgiveness can only be earned with deeds</span></b></blockquote>
The costs of emotional abuse cannot be measured by visible scars, but each victim loses some percentage of capacity. And that capacity remains lost so long as the victim is stuck in the cycle of "understanding" and "forgiveness." The abuser has no "right" to forgiveness—such blessings can only be earned. And although the damage was done with words, true forgiveness can only be earned with deeds.<br />
<br />
For those with an idealized notion of "family," the task of refusing to accept the blame for their own victimization is even more difficult. For such searchers, the key to freedom is always truth—the real truth, not the distorted, self–serving version served by the abuser.<br />
<br />
But for some emotional abusers, rehabilitation is not possible. For such people, manipulation is a way of life. They coldly and deliberately set up a "family" system in which the child can never manage to "earn" the parent's love. In such situations, any emphasis on "healing the whole family" is doomed to failure.<br />
<br />
If you are a victim of emotional abuse, there can be no self–help until you learn to self–reference. That means developing your own standards, deciding for yourself what "goodness" really is. Adopting the abuser's calculated labels—"You're crazy. You're ungrateful. It didn't happen the way you say"—only continues the cycle.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">survivors of emotional child abuse have only two life–choices: learn to self–reference or remain a victim </span></b></blockquote>
Adult survivors of emotional child abuse have only two life–choices: learn to self–reference or remain a victim. When your self–concept has been shredded, when you have been deeply injured and made to feel the injury was all your fault, when you look for approval to those who can not or will not provide it—you play the role assigned to you by your abusers.<br />
<br />
It's time to stop playing that role, time to write your own script. Victims of emotional abuse carry the cure in their own hearts and souls. Salvation means learning self–respect, earning the respect of others and making that respect the absolutely irreducible minimum requirement for all intimate relationships. For the emotionally abused child, healing does come down to "forgiveness"—forgiveness of yourself.<br />
<br />
How you forgive yourself is as individual as you are. But knowing you deserve to be loved and respected and empowering yourself with a commitment to try is more than half the battle. Much more.<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">And it is never too soon—or too late—to start.</span></b></blockquote>
<br />
***<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-36014323894714229682018-03-30T12:02:00.000-07:002018-03-30T12:02:44.516-07:00The Good Kid (Guest Post)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-qo5NNyt-cEU/Wr6IxDeyx9I/AAAAAAAAIRk/H2twt0mI2lM8Z72MaD5Ge-FYdaxhfkPkQCLcBGAs/s1600/child-2122019_640.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="426" data-original-width="640" height="212" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-qo5NNyt-cEU/Wr6IxDeyx9I/AAAAAAAAIRk/H2twt0mI2lM8Z72MaD5Ge-FYdaxhfkPkQCLcBGAs/s320/child-2122019_640.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><i>This is a guest post by a reader I’ll call The Good Kid. If you are struggling with similar issues and would like to talk, let me know on the contact form and I’ll put you in touch with him (privacy assured). —Free</i><br />
<br />****<br />
<br />Imagine this. You're a good kid. You want to please your parents. You want to do well in school. You want to do well in everything you do, including being a good Christian kid. You try your best to be this good kid because it's the one thing you can control in your life. Your home life isn't amazing. It's actually pretty abusive. But that's beside the point. You go to church pretty much every Sunday. You make sure that you know the answers to the questions that are being asked at the gatherings. You go to young peoples’ gatherings. You travel across the country with the Elders when they're here. You go to confirmation and get yourself a girlfriend, which of course doesn't work because you are too young. You're sad that it doesn't work out, so you date<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>another girl, but that doesn't work either. You still have plans to get married one day, and have kids. You still want to be a good person and give back to others in some way.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">But you're different, and you know that you're different. You grew up with no TV and no movies,<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>and in a time where you didn't hear a lot about the "different" that you were. Every few Sundays they preach about the different that you are. They tell you that you're going to hell. You're pretty confused, because you know that you didn't <i>choose</i> to be different. You don't understand why you're going to hell, when you seriously try so hard to be so good for so many different people.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span class="Apple-converted-space"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4gZOpOFsP4A/Wr6I7La016I/AAAAAAAAIRo/HnPEuI-SLvMGm1hCb-Nfh2fW13Zs43P9QCLcBGAs/s1600/bizarroleft-handed-s.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="248" data-original-width="476" height="331" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4gZOpOFsP4A/Wr6I7La016I/AAAAAAAAIRo/HnPEuI-SLvMGm1hCb-Nfh2fW13Zs43P9QCLcBGAs/s640/bizarroleft-handed-s.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span class="Apple-converted-space"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Then, one day, you finally realize that you're tired of being told that you're going to hell. You're tired of trying to be good for everyone else. You're tired of sitting in a building where the preachers are talking about how you're going to hell. You're tired of it all. So you finally decide to walk out the doors of the church. And it is hard! You lose a lot of family members. You lose a lot of your support system. You lose many friends. You lose your faith. You turn to drugs and alcohol because you can at least control how high or how drunk you get. You put "being good" on the back burner for a while. But, eventually, you smarten up and realize that you're not that person. You still want to be a good human being. You want to be you. You've always been you. You were born this way. You are, and always have been, gay . . . AND THAT'S OKAY!<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">The BS you were taught was not real. It wasn't true. You can find another church, one that won't condemn you to hell. You can get your faith back if you'd like. You can find friends who will love you as you are. You can still have kids if you'd like. You can still get married if you'd like. You can still give back to society if you'd like. You can get to a point in your life where you finally realize that being gay is the same as being born with black hair, or being lefthanded. <i>It simply is what it is. </i>The men who told you that it was wrong, well, they're simply uneducated. Maybe some of them are gay, too. Who knows?<br />
<br />But let me tell you one thing, you are not alone. Things can get better for you. Don't think that you have to marry someone of the opposite sex and "pretend" to be okay with doing that. You won’t be okay. You won’t be happy.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Your life is too precious for a closet.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<style type="text/css"> p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 11.0px Helvetica; -webkit-text-stroke: #000000} p.p2 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 11.0px Helvetica; -webkit-text-stroke: #000000; min-height: 13.0px} span.s1 {font-kerning: none} </style>
<br />
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">I'm here to tell you that there are others just like you. <br />
<br />And you know what? I'm doing<i> just fine. </i><br />
<br />
</span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-58715239312995357512018-03-12T11:50:00.000-07:002018-03-12T11:50:05.315-07:00Læstadianism and Sami Identity: A Talk by Lis-Mari Hjortfors<h2 property="schema:name" style="background-color: white; color: #171717; font-family: Apercu, sans-serif; font-size: 2.3rem; margin: 0px;">
<dd style="display: inline; font-size: 13px; margin: 0px;"><br /></dd></h2>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dyG0JChakZyzkSsYZGSysEap7szzbVmg-ZxKMQA7ULB51kXo_56hwBwkQdjFYXg2sWxYw5rwMiwSFg' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<div property="schema:description" style="background-color: white; color: #171717; font-family: Apercu, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><br />Recorded at Umeå University on March 9, 2016. Organizers: Umeå University and SLU. This is a talk by Lis-Mari Hjortfors, an ethnologist and researcher at Umeå University who studies the role of Laestadianism in the preservation of Sami identity, language, and tradition. </span></span></div>
<br />
https://urskola.se/Produkter/196349-UR-Samtiden-Samiska-veckan-2016-Laestadianismen-och-samisk-identitet#UndertexterUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-35913147557098205272018-01-18T15:16:00.000-08:002018-01-18T15:55:58.813-08:00Guest Post: When Family Doesn't Mean What You Think It Means<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KCi-16XmsFs/WmEnRL-g1yI/AAAAAAAAIME/KHVItSXAt0UmURJZs0nEffsfNgVdDXUTwCLcBGAs/s1600/Princess_Bride_That_Word.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="284" data-original-width="506" height="356" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KCi-16XmsFs/WmEnRL-g1yI/AAAAAAAAIME/KHVItSXAt0UmURJZs0nEffsfNgVdDXUTwCLcBGAs/s640/Princess_Bride_That_Word.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "sf optimized" , , , , ".sfnstext-regular" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.135px;">Leaving one's family, community, and faith can provoke all kinds of ambivalent feelings, but there are moments of pure clarity also -- especially when well-meaning people make uninformed assumptions, and you have to school them or blow a gasket.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "sf optimized" , , , , ".sfnstext-regular" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.135px;"><br />Even if the schooling takes place as an interior dialogue.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "sf optimized" , , , , ".sfnstext-regular" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.135px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "sf optimized" , , , , ".sfnstext-regular" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.135px;">When I saw this Facebook post, I asked if I could share it here. The writer agreed and said shared that she is in a better place now. The frustration you'll read about below "has been diminishing every time I speak up."</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "sf optimized" , , , , ".sfnstext-regular" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.135px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "sf optimized" , , , , ".sfnstext-regular" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.135px;">--Free</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "sf optimized" , , , , ".sfnstext-regular" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.135px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "sf optimized" , , , , ".sfnstext-regular" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.135px;">******</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "sf optimized" , , , , ".sfnstext-regular" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.135px;"><br />GUEST POST</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "sf optimized" , , , , ".sfnstext-regular" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.135px;">by Anonymous<br /><br />Many people say to me, “it must be hard for your family because they can’t see/talk to you.” They say “Oh, it must be hard not to have relationships with your family.” <br /><br />This is one of the hardest things I deal with now. Some people, when they say this, they are empathizing. Some are vilifying me. I am a monster because I left, I’ve been gone for a good half decade. Who in their right mind could do that sort of thing? Or I must be a ruined pile of a person because I don’t have relationships with my family. Guess what. I’m not a monster. I’m not a ruined pile. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "sf optimized" , , , , ".sfnstext-regular" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.135px;">Ending relationships with family doesn’t happen from a place of function. It comes from a very dysfunctional place. If you have a loving, caring family, you may not understand or even comprehend the logistics of unhealthy relationships. But at the same time, repeating over and over that family is the most important piece of one’s life is damaging, especially if family means dysfunction. So tweak your rule a little bit. Family is the most important part of your life, if your family is healthy.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "sf optimized" , , , , ".sfnstext-regular" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.135px;">In not being able to recognize this, you are at the same time denying my experience, my pain. You are triggering me yet again to feel shame and betrayal that I felt when I left. Calling it shame and betrayal is undermining what actually happened. I experienced repeated psychological abuse. My dad spoke a sermon about me. Well, it wasn’t actually me. It was his perception of me. With a warning that the devil was going to get my pinkie, my arm, my whole body because I had a taste of sin. Which was alcohol and a man and breaking into my grandma's house to hang out with said man and liquor. Oh, and french bread and heirloom tomatoes. Devil’s got my pinkie, oh delicious, juicy tomatoes. And I actually didn’t drink the alcohol. I’d never had any before and I didn’t start then. Oh, no. It was later on, and it was Mike’s hard lemonade. I was so terrified that I probably drank half of it in the span of two hours.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "SF Optimized", system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.135px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "sf optimized" , , , , ".sfnstext-regular" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.135px;">My question is? How much would you put up with? With a stranger it’s easy to say no. Family, though. That’s a different field, isn’t it. Family can do anything to you. It’s okay. They’re family.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "sf optimized" , , , , ".sfnstext-regular" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.135px;">Would you put up with a sermon from your dad about how the devil is getting in your soul? Would you put up with calling your grandma to ask for money only having her ask you to call back when grandpa is home, so you can talk to him. You do that and when you talk to him on the phone, grandma is in the background telling him what to say. That no, you can’t have money to pay your balance at the university. Why, you ask? Your grandma tells your grandpa to say it’s because you’re living in sin. You’re living with a man, who you’re not married to.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "SF Optimized", system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.135px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "sf optimized" , , , , ".sfnstext-regular" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.135px;">Can you guess why we didn’t get married right away? Because my family was treating me like shit and I was hoping it would get better but it never did. </span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "SF Optimized", system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.135px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "sf optimized" , , , , ".sfnstext-regular" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.135px;">Would you put up with a Thanksgiving where your sister-in-law and your mom snarkily talk about how an engagement ring isn’t a ring if it doesn’t have a giant rock? And you’re standing right there, listening to them, and your engagement ring is giant rock-free?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "sf optimized" , , , , ".sfnstext-regular" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.135px;">Would you put up with people stopping saying “God’s Peace” to you, which is code for “we are in the same church and everyone else is going to hell.” Like bro code. You could stand in a line with forty other people and a person walks down the line, shaking everyone’s hand and saying God’s Peace. When the person gets to you, they skip you like you didn’t exist and move on. God’s Peace. God’s Peace. God’s Peace. Oh you’re going to hell. Next person.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "SF Optimized", system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.135px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "sf optimized" , , , , ".sfnstext-regular" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.135px;">Would you put up with letters written to you about how sinful you are? Would you put up with your sister-in-law writing messages to your fiance on Facebook about she hates his posts and why does he even say anything?</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "SF Optimized", system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.135px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "sf optimized" , , , , ".sfnstext-regular" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.135px;">Would you put up with a friend who once said you were like a sister, walk hurriedly by you within five feet, angrily, and at the same time pretending she didn’t see you? Would you call her later as a lifeline because you’re so alone, and she says let's meet up, but not in my home. Because I might, like, bring drugs or something because I’m going to hell. Anything sinful is up for grabs.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "SF Optimized", system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.135px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "sf optimized" , , , , ".sfnstext-regular" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.135px;">Would you put up with your sister telling you that you need to save your siblings from the church? That by maintaining abusive relationships you can help pull them out too?</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "SF Optimized", system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.135px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "sf optimized" , , , , ".sfnstext-regular" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.135px;">What would you do? What would you do when your whole community, your family, your world is torn down from the inside? When all the loving, trusting relationships you ever knew instantly turned to pain?</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "SF Optimized", system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.135px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "sf optimized" , , , , ".sfnstext-regular" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.135px;">Would you run or stay?</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "SF Optimized", system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.135px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "sf optimized" , , , , ".sfnstext-regular" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.135px;">Many of you might say that you would run. But let me tell you something. Out of all the people that I know left my church, many of them still have these relationships with their family. And they are dysfunctional. My cousin’s dad punched her sister in the back and said that she and her sister were making their mom cry all the time because they didn’t attend church. When we were kids he broke a neighbor kid’s arm. <i>He broke a child’s arm.</i> Never went to jail. My cousin that left the church still maintains her relationship with her dad.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "SF Optimized", system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.135px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "sf optimized" , , , , ".sfnstext-regular" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.135px;">There are stories and stories of sexual abuse too. Molestation. Rampant in families, rampant in the church. If you don’t believe me just ask. If emotional and psychological abuse aren’t enough for you.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "sf optimized" , , , , ".sfnstext-regular" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.135px;">This is the tip of the iceberg of my story. But I ask you. Respect me. And don’t say shit like “Oh it must be hard to not have relationships with your family.” You know what’s way, way, way, way harder? Spending 20 or so years being abused. <br /><br />And letting it happen even longer. Because family.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "sf optimized" , , , , ".sfnstext-regular" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.135px;">Saying “it must be hard….” silences me. I cannot find myself when yet again, I am seen in a weird light. I had a fucking hard time, yes. Try to think of these painful moments and realize that they happened to me every day. Every day. A hiss of “I’ll pray for you” in your ear by your great aunt and you’re supposed to act like your day is perfectly fine. Your attempt to empathize isn’t going to fix years of abuse.<br /><br />****</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-57777533789999684722018-01-14T14:11:00.000-08:002018-01-14T15:36:24.856-08:00How to Be An Adult<div style="background-color: white;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9qc0P1wNQqc/WlvTKl3dvTI/AAAAAAAAILo/tmkYfD8k51cWa0WRXv-TIqNYxxwKAErIACLcBGAs/s1600/hands.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="549" data-original-width="1050" height="208" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9qc0P1wNQqc/WlvTKl3dvTI/AAAAAAAAILo/tmkYfD8k51cWa0WRXv-TIqNYxxwKAErIACLcBGAs/s400/hands.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: inherit;">Happy new year, readers. I've been fully-occupied in recent months by creative projects, and hope for more of the same in 2018. I haven't forgotten this site (if anything, movements such as #metoo give renewed hope for reforms) but these pages will continue to be quiet as I work on other interests.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333;">If you are in need of support or inspiration, please join the Extoots <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/extoots/" target="_blank">Facebook group</a>. </span><span style="color: #333333;">One of the current topics is how to relate to Laestadian friends and relatives after leaving the faith.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333;">This</span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: inherit;"> "declaration" by therapist David Richo (<a href="https://www.amazon.com/How-Be-Adult-Relationships-Mindful/dp/1570628122/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8" target="_blank">How to Be an Adult in Relationships</a>, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Five-Things-Cannot-Change-Happiness/dp/1590303083/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8" target="_blank">The Five Things We Cannot Change</a>, et al) may help.</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333;">He advises preparing for potentially difficult conversations by first having a conversation with yourself, confirming the following:</span></span><br />
<ul>
<li>I accept full responsibility for the shape my life has taken.</li>
<li>I need never fear my own truth, thoughts, or sexuality.</li>
<li>I let people go away or stay and I am still okay.</li>
<li>I accept that I may never feel I am receiving – or have received – all the attention I seek.</li>
<li>I acknowledge that reality is not obligated to me; it remains unaffected by my wishes or rights.</li>
<li>One by one, I drop every expectation of people and things.</li>
<li>I reconcile myself to the limits on others’ giving to me and on my giving to them.</li>
<li>Until I see another’s behavior with compassion, I have not understood it.</li>
<li>I let go of blame, regret, vengeance, and the infantile desire to punish those who hurt or reject me.</li>
<li>I am still safe when I cease following the rules my parents (or others) set for me.</li>
<li>I cherish my own integrity and do not use it as a yardstick for anyone else’s behavior.</li>
<li>I am free to have and entertain any thought. I do not have the right to do whatever I want. I respect the limits of freedom and still act freely.</li>
<li>No one can or needs to bail me out. I am not entitled to be taken care of by anyone or anything.</li>
<li>I give without demanding appreciation though I may always ask for it.</li>
<li>I reject whining and complaining as useless distractions from direct action on or withdrawal from unacceptable situations.</li>
<li>I let go of control without losing control.</li>
<li>If people knew me as I really am, they would love me for being human like them.</li>
<li>I drop poses and let my every word and deed reveal what I am really like.</li>
<li>I live by personal standards and at the same time – in self-forgiveness – I make allowances for my occasional lapses.</li>
<li>I grant myself a margin of error in my relationships. I release myself from the pain of having to be right or competent all the time.</li>
<li>I accept that it is normal to feel that I do not always measure up.</li>
<li>I am ultimately adequate to any challenge that comes to me.</li>
<li>My self-acceptance is not complacency since in itself it represents an enormous change.</li>
<li>I am happy to do what I love and love what is.</li>
<li>Wholehearted engagement with my circumstances releases my irrepressible liveliness.</li>
<li>I love unconditionally and set sane conditions on my self-giving.</li>
</ul>
</div>
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-87022393212879547782017-12-07T16:29:00.004-08:002017-12-07T16:29:48.032-08:00Lara's Story <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/56/Vilhelm_Hammershoi_-_Interieur_mit_Rueckenansicht_einer_Frau_-_1903-1904_-_Randers_Kunstmuseum.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="669" height="320" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/56/Vilhelm_Hammershoi_-_Interieur_mit_Rueckenansicht_einer_Frau_-_1903-1904_-_Randers_Kunstmuseum.jpg" width="266" /></a></div>
Lara's story, cross-posted from this blog: <a href="http://religiouschildmaltreatment.com/2013/04/more-than-she-could-bear/">http://religiouschildmaltreatment.com/2013/04/more-than-she-could-bear/</a>.<br />
<br />
<div style="background-color: #fcfcfd; color: #334366; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Verdana; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-right: 5px; margin-top: 10px; padding: 0px;">
I happened across this <a href="http://religiouschildmaltreatment.com/2013/04/more-than-she-could-bear/" target="_blank">article</a> while doing some late night research. While I am not familiar with this specific Apostolic church tradition, I also grew up in an Apostolic Lutheran Church tradition. I started leaving when I was 19 didn’t completely leave until I was 22, due to trying to live in both worlds and trying to pacify family. To those who wonder why folk don’t leave. Perhaps the #1 reason is because being raised in this means you have NO other contacts/friends/family. If you leave, you are not just leaving a church, you are literally leaving your family and your friends. Everyone. All gone. All at once. Now it may be, that a few may buck the system and remain in a relationship with you, but there’s no way to know that ahead of time.</div>
<div style="background-color: #fcfcfd; color: #334366; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Verdana; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-right: 5px; margin-top: 10px; padding: 0px;">
It’s important to note that the Laestadian’s (forgive my spelling) have split into many different churches. So what was true for one person in one group is not necessarily true for another person in another group. Additionally, even in the specific group I grew up in there are conflicting views and I often hear cries like the one above, that “WE” don’t teach (xyz). All I can say is, **I** was taught.</div>
<div style="background-color: #fcfcfd; color: #334366; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Verdana; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-right: 5px; margin-top: 10px; padding: 0px;">
I wish folk would step back a bit and realize that one person’s experiences may not have anything to do with THEM. Rather than posting and saying, a broad brushing we would never statement, why not say, in the specific group I was raised in, this was not the case. And then perhaps offer that those who attend where this kind of extreme legalism is in place, might find a new church home with you. Then offer them your personal information or at least your church’s information! Yadda yadda. You know, be HELPFUL, instead of trying to make people who have been abused not talk about it. And it is/was spiritual abuse.</div>
<div style="background-color: #fcfcfd; color: #334366; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Verdana; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-right: 5px; margin-top: 10px; padding: 0px;">
Many things were taught non verbally. This also contributes to the indignant cry ‘we never taught’. Yeah. Well. Here’s the thing. If a child grows up knowing they should only be friends with people from the church. They should only marry a ‘true believer’ and true believer is always understood to be ‘in THE church’. And preachers regularly talk about every other church as ‘dead faith churches’, etc and so forth, they don’t HAVE to come right out and say, All other churches are going to hell. It’s implied. The children grow up believing that. And when you leave and are battling cancer and your mother writes you a letter saying she hopes you don’t die before you see the error of your ways (no this wasn’t me)… well…. it’s pretty obvious that everyone not in ‘THE group’ is going to hell. Just as it is implied in OH so many ways that couples should have as many children as they can pop out regardless. From the time I was a small child, it was understood without so many words being said, that as a female it was expected that I would meet a “christian” (i.e. fellow ALC member) husband, get married, and have children. There was no concept of doing anything else. I was taught college was a sin and would lead me ‘astray’. It was understood, I should simply work whatever job supplied enough food and shop for a husband.</div>
<div style="background-color: #fcfcfd; color: #334366; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Verdana; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-right: 5px; margin-top: 10px; padding: 0px;">
This sort of self protectiveness is quite common. Since so many things are taught via custom, non verbally, and through hearing the adults taught when you are a child, it is EASY to deny they were ever taught. And I truly believe the deniers believe it themselves. They are not lying per say, they have most often, deceived themselves. After all, who remembers the conversation they hear as a child playing in the corner while their mother and others “discuss” and “tsk” the waywardness of some person or another who did some seemingly harmless thing and yet clearly it must be a horrible thing or why are they tsking it? But you see, NO ONE will ever talk about it. The child forms their beliefs and forgets the actual conversation that caused the belief. And since the adults were gossiping they will never admit they said what they said. And when their belief is confronted head on, it sounds unpleasant because rarely do their actual beliefs line up with what they KNOW to be true. So they deny it.</div>
<div style="background-color: #fcfcfd; color: #334366; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Verdana; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-right: 5px; margin-top: 10px; padding: 0px;">
This does apply directly to child abuse. I have personal experience with dealing with a family where there was incest among siblings and cousins from young teens to toddlers. Yet not a single soul in the family is willing to discuss this openly and honestly and have instead blamed one of the victims who insisted there needed to be honest, open, discussion. Over the years, more and more putrid details have risen to the surface and it has become more apparent that various adults (at the time the incest was happening) likely know far more than they are admitting, thus their refusal to have an honest discussion. But by golly, they are good people, godly people, forgiven people. I have to ask. HOW can one be forgiven if they ask for forgiveness from someone OTHER than the person who they did the wrong to??? If I punch you in the nose and ask Jim for forgiveness, does this make sense? Their very system of forgiveness is flawed and is being utilized by abusers to hide. Once the person ‘asks forgiveness’ the victim is then told they are to never talk about it again. This is said, EVEN IF the person asked forgiveness from someone else and the victim had no knowledge of it. It is also said if the person asks forgiveness for something completely not relevant. For example, Bob punches Joe in the nose. Bob then asks Joe to forgive him for raising his voice. Joe is then supposed to ‘move on’ from Bob punching him in the nose because Bob ‘had it forgiven’. It is ludicrous and childish and beyond narcissistic. To those who want to say, this doesn’t happen. Sorry it does. I am not the only one who has seen this, experienced this, dealt with this. I could sit and write here all night, with real life examples of similarly nasty things. These things have nothing to do with being “imperfect”. They have to do with blatantly living IN SIN.</div>
<div style="background-color: #fcfcfd; color: #334366; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Verdana; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-right: 5px; margin-top: 10px; padding: 0px;">
People can say, you need to research, but it seems to me, the comments of those who LIVED It ARE research. We are not lying. We are not making this stuff up. Those of us who have left have been through years of emotional damage to do so. We have endured judgement and anger. We have been randomly attacked (verbally) in grocery stores and gas stations. We have had close family pretend to not see us in stores. We have been told by close family we are going to hell. Some have died with our own mother refusing to sit by our side. We have been sat down and ‘set straight’ by those who think they are more loving than those who just outright attack. We have had our faith, our character, our reputations slandered. We have had our children approached in public and told we are liars. We have been called names. If the churches of this tradition are as loving and nice and open and wonderful as so many would claim, then WHY is it a commonly told story that people who leave are treated so horribly?</div>
<div style="background-color: #fcfcfd; color: #334366; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Verdana; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-right: 5px; margin-top: 10px; padding: 0px;">
One last thing. While I was still in the church, I started visiting another church. I hid it because I knew it would NOT be accepted, but I wanted to know because I was watching people I worked with and seeing that they truly believed in God the same as me. I visited another church, while continuing to faithfully attend the ALC church service. This went on for several months. No one was the wiser. And NO ONE treated me any differently. No one had a problem with me. No one questioned anything I said in Bible study type discussions. Until. The fateful day when someone found out. And told someone else. Who confronted me in a restaurant in front of a group. It was a very simple conversation. “I heard you’ve been visiting another church.” “Yep” “I heard it’s a BAPTIST (said like it’s a dirty word) church” “Yep” LOOOOONG pause. “Well you AREN’T going to KEEP going are you???” “Probably”. Silence. The entire group got up as one and left. THAT showed me the lie. The lie that we don’t say others are going to hell. If that’s true, then why did they care? Behavior ALWAYS tattles on your true beliefs folks. It doesn’t matter what you SAY. What matters is what you DO.</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-66696868606603811682017-12-04T15:50:00.000-08:002017-12-07T16:11:35.101-08:00Maureen's Story<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-SmeijFUY-Qo/WiXek2g2GwI/AAAAAAAAIG4/sXZ5Wwp4Xhc9fV2k5k-42wUUhhyC8akbACLcBGAs/s1600/sad-woman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1060" data-original-width="1600" height="263" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-SmeijFUY-Qo/WiXek2g2GwI/AAAAAAAAIG4/sXZ5Wwp4Xhc9fV2k5k-42wUUhhyC8akbACLcBGAs/s400/sad-woman.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Photo from wikicommons</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 12.8px;"><i>Thanks to "Maureen" for sharing her thoughts here. Please leave a note in the comments -- even if you have no advice. Sometimes it helps to know others are listening. </i></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">Hi there,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="gmail_default" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I am a former ALC member. My parents are still members. Due to my parents' religious beliefs, my childhood was missing so many things other kids experience. Sleepovers, birthday parties, going to movies as a family, going to prom, going to concerts, drinking a first beer together, family movie nights with popcorn, etc. Now, we're all grown up and we lead our own individual lives. We imbibe every now and again, attend mainstream churches, go to movies, go to concerts, and have dinner parties. We do these things with our friends. We do not do these things with our parents. I don't even talk to my parents about these activities. </span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"Due to my parents' religious beliefs, my childhood was missing so many things other kids experience."</span></span></blockquote>
<div class="gmail_default" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I guess I am struggling with the relationship with my parents now. I currently have a wide circle of supportive friends (and family members, too). I have been fortunate to have deep friendships. What I've come to realize is that friendship is often built around shared activities. These shared activities might include going to a movie, then getting a drink afterwards and talking about the movie. Those are the things that build deep connections. With my parents however -- so many things are off-limits for talking, or doing. Thus, the ability to build a deep relationship is stunted. And that makes me </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">enormously sad. I'm not sad for myself. I have friends and deep connections. I am sad for my parents. They seem lonely and they don't know their kids. Why even have kids if you don't get to benefit from an adult relationship with them someday? But, they're too closed-minded to open up to experiences where they could have a deeper connection with their children. It's a one-sided relationship where I talk about things they like to talk about and we do things they like to do. They don't really engage in my personal interests. They're offended by many of my opinions, so I keep them to myself. </span></div>
<div class="gmail_default" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"I wish I could be one of those people who hangs out with their mom or dad . . . "</span></span></blockquote>
</div>
<div class="gmail_default" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Providence has provided me with surrogate parents who mentored me through my late teens, 20's and 30's. But, I know my parents are hurt by my giving, in a sense, their paternal/maternal role to others. I don't actually want to do that. I crave a meaningful relationship with my parents. I wish I could be one of those people who hangs out with their mom or dad laughing, connecting, and sharing life. </span></div>
<div class="gmail_default" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="gmail_default" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I feel like this community might be a good place to start a discussion about healing relationships and managing guilt. I feel guilty that I'm not close to my parents, yet I realize it's not my fault. Now that they're aging, the broken relationship is more visible than when they were young and healthy. It all just makes me so so so sad and I don't know how to cope with all this sadness. I've kind of just accepted that this is just a burden that I have to carry.</span></div>
<div class="gmail_default" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"It all just makes me so so so sad and I don't know how to cope with all this sadness."</span></span></blockquote>
<div class="gmail_default" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="gmail_default" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This is from <span style="text-align: justify;">Dallas Willard in </span><em style="text-align: justify;">The Divine Conspiracy:</em></span></div>
<div class="gmail_default" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><em style="text-align: justify;"><br /></em></span></div>
<blockquote style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; font-style: italic; margin: 0px 0px 18px 18px; text-align: justify;">
<div style="line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 1em;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">To honor our parents means to be thankful for for their existence and to respect their actual role as givers of life in the sequence of human existence. Of course in order to honor them in this way we need to be thankful for our own existence too. But we also will usually need to have pity on them. For, even if they are good people, it is almost always true that they have been quite wrong in many respects, and possibly still are.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 1em;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Commonly those who have experienced great antagonism with their parents are only able to be thankful for their existence and honor them, as they deeply need to, after the parents have grown old. Then it is possible to pity them, to have mercy on them. And that opens the door to honoring them. With a certain sadness, perhaps, but also with joy and peace at least. One of the greatest gifts of The Kingdom Among Us is the healing of the parent-child relation, “turning the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers” (Mal. 4:6).</span></div>
</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-size: large;">"How do you manage the sadness?"</span></blockquote>
<div class="gmail_default" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I find that passage helpful, but I don't have peace. How do other people who grew up in Laestadian-based religions m</span><span style="font-size: 12.8px;">anage the sadness of the broken relationships? What about managing these uncomfortable emotions once parents have died? Has anyone had success in creating a meaningful relationship with their parents or family? </span></div>
<div class="gmail_default" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
<span style="font-size: 12.8px;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="gmail_default" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
<span style="font-size: 12.8px;">Thank you,</span></div>
<div class="gmail_default" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
<span style="font-size: 12.8px;">"Maureen" </span></div>
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-52799223177878682462017-11-08T23:37:00.001-08:002017-11-08T23:41:53.301-08:00Grave Robbing to Reconciliation<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"Perhaps the best discovery made on the trip, namely 2 sacks full of Lapp skulls and bones." --<i> Lars Levi Laestadius</i></blockquote>
The quote is from an excerpt (translated from Swedish) of a remarkable White Paper published by the Church of Sweden, available in <a href="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwebbshop.svenskakyrkan.se%2Fsamerna-och-svenska-kyrkan&h=ATNWxEcHVks-lS8yOPYReN-JQNVltvIa7fYKo5lIMcRpm6WNdAhCcTEmDu8HuLGYAFq_Vfo9q7e2jq2DPo8NWQyya8GbV1X8XnzDW05fBalloCil7O6rINXBUua4j1_ZZR2qJqoVtUPtZdY" target="_blank">print</a> (at no cost) and excerpted <a href="https://www.svenskakyrkan.se/vitboken-presenterad-i-artiklar" target="_blank">online</a>, where it can be copied and pasted into Google Translate. Titled "The Historical Relationships between the Swedish Church and the Sámi: A Scientific Anthology," the paper is the result of a project begun in 2012 whose purpose was to "deepen the knowledge of historical relations between the Church and the Sámi." It serves as a public confession of abuse, and the Church calls it is a necessary first step toward reconciliation.<br />
<br />
A direct line can be drawn between the grave-robbing of the 19th century and the race biology of the 20th century to the horrors of the Holocaust. When the Swedish Institute for Racial Biology was founded in Uppsala in 1922, it was the first of its kind in the world, and its painstaking research methodology was admired by, and became a model for, Nazi Germany. (Learn more in this excellent <a href="https://vimeo.com/ondemand/66847/156547464" target="_blank">documentary</a>.)<br />
<br />
Excerpt from "The Historical Relationships between the Swedish Church and the Sámi: A Scientific Anthology":<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b>PRIESTS CONTRIBUTED TO RACIAL BIOLOGY RESEARCH</b></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Priests and other representatives of the Church of Sweden took part in robberies and excavations and contributed to the collection of Sámi human remains for cranial and racial research.</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
This research has in itself contributed to the notions of the Sámi as a primitive and lower standing people and enabled discrimination, marginalization and oppression of Sámi in Sweden.</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b>Priests participated in the robbery of Sámi graves</b></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
During the 19th and early 1900's, Sámi tombs were plundered in a comprehensive search for skulls and skeletal parts, including the service of racial biology. Priests and other representatives of the Swedish Church participated. Today, Sámi demands that human remains be returned.</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b>SÁMI </b><b>GRAVES WERE ROBBED </b></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
The grave robberies were sometimes held secretly during the night and using bribes. There was, of course, a resistance among Sámi against what happened, which those responsible showed little respect for.</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
The most famous example is Lars Levi Læstadius (1800-1861), church leader in Karesuando and Pajala parishes and founder of the Lapponian revival movement. There are several examples of how he participated in the robbery of Sámi tombs, for example as a guide and local expert in the F<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/La_Recherche_Expedition" target="_blank">rench La Recherche expedition (1838-1840).</a> Læstadius himself writes in an unsigned newspaper article about what the expedition found: "Perhaps the best discovery made on the trip, namely 2 sacks full of Lapp skulls and bones."</blockquote>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-59056700429284702562017-11-03T14:43:00.000-07:002017-11-03T14:43:07.091-07:00A Sweet Story, a Familiar TuneA friend posted this <a href="http://komonews.com/news/erics-heroes/erics-heroes-a-touching-gift-for-an-old-friend" target="_blank">sweet story</a> about the love of friends. The hymn will be a familiar one to many of you.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://static-26.sinclairstoryline.com/resources/media/c5b5a312-bd85-46cd-bb46-565b8dee8e57-large16x9_HymnHarttsatthedoor.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://static-26.sinclairstoryline.com/resources/media/c5b5a312-bd85-46cd-bb46-565b8dee8e57-large16x9_HymnHarttsatthedoor.jpg" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="800" height="180" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-61019392788853451302017-10-26T22:34:00.003-07:002017-10-26T22:34:29.766-07:00Luther, We Knew Thee Not<span style="font-family: "Adobe Caslon", Georgia, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; font-size: 21px;"><a href="https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2016/11/14/five-hundred-years-of-martin-luther" target="_blank">"Luther . . . believed firmly that the Second Coming of Christ was imminent, and seemed to feel that, time being short, life should be lived to the fullest. He celebrated conviviality—no great novelty in Wittenberg, where one out of three houses was licensed to brew beer—and was unusually supportive of women. In his view, a woman with an impotent or unwilling husband should seek a divorce and, if he refuses, request sex with one of his relatives or friends. Failing that, she might leave and start fresh in another town. Luther, who lived out his life in familial contentment, undertook considerable legal wrangling to will his entire estate to Katharina, rather than to their sons. He died in 1546."</a></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8088717.post-35512864009383415132017-10-25T09:57:00.000-07:002017-10-25T09:57:31.857-07:00One of Us<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/uBPn5oQNutI/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/uBPn5oQNutI?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
<br />
I strongly recommend "One of Us," a documentary (now streaming on Netflix) that follows three people who have left their ultra-Orthodox Jewish community. No longer "one of us" to their family and friends, each person has a distinct story, a unique trajectory out of their former lives. You'll recognize the same themes we've encountered in Laestadianism -- ultra-Orthodox Lutheranism, if you will.<br />
<br />
In a magazine interview <a href="https://www.huffingtonpost.com/luzer-twersky/hasidic-judaism-hollywood-actor_b_7242886.html" target="_blank">here</a>, one of the men in the documentary explains his former faith:<br />
<br />
"Does it withhold a broad education from their children in order to keep the children narrow-minded and uneducated? Yes. Does it vilify the outside world in order to keep its members from joining it? Definitely. Does it have a fear and/or doomsday element to it? Of course. Is there ex-communication for those who dare to leave? Oh yeah."<br /><br />"For most of my life, I believed that all non-Jews hate us and want to kill us. I believed that all goyim are murderers, rapists, degenerates and dirty second-class citizens. Of course, they/we aren’t but I was taught that in order to make the secular lifestyle less appealing. I was told horrible things would happen to me in this world and the 'next world' if I leave. I was told I would end up a criminal or drug addict. Many members of my family refuse to speak to me to this day."<br />
<br />
The Laestadian version of "One of Us" has yet to be made, but a proposal is in the works, and if you are interested in supporting it, <a href="mailto:extoot@gmail.com" target="_blank">let me know.</a><br />
<a href="mailto:extoot@gmail.com" target="_blank"><br /></a>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0